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MASS MURDER, MARTIAL LAW, MALACAÑANG & OTHER STORIES

16 12 2017

FOR THE second time in the last five months, a party-list representative from Sulu – identified in the news as Shernee Tan proposed the declaration of martial law nationwide. When Duterte heard this, he texted Tan and asked, “Sa’n mo ba gustong ma-appoint?”

1TAN
According to party-list representative Shernee Tan, Congress must expand martial law in Luzon and the Visayas because of the presence of Communist rebels. If approved, Tan would next propose the declaration of martial law in Utrecht, The Netherlands.

Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana says it is not advisable to declare martial law in the Visayas and Luzon since CPP-NPA operations in those areas are “manageable.” Unlike Shernee Tan’s state of mind.

1SyjucoRappler
Mass Murder
Former TESDA chief Augusto Syjuco Jr. has filed mass murder and plunder charges against former president Noynoy Aquino in connection with the Dengvaxia vaccine controversy. When Duterte saw this in the news, he told Syjuco, “Isa-isa lang, hinahanapan ko pa ng puwesto si Shernee Tan.”

Former TESDA chief  Augusto Syjuco Jr. went to the Ombudsman’s office Friday and filed “mass murder” charges against former president Noynoy Aquino. Again, MASS MURDER! Syjuco is starting to worry though because his evidence – the “murder” victims, are still alive.

Syjuco & The Ombudsman
Syjuco: Madam Ombudsman, kakasuhan ko si Noynoy Aquino!

Ombudsman: Anong kaso?

Syjuco: Plunder tapos mass murder!

Ombudsman: May ibinulsa ba?

Syjuco: Hindi ko alam.

Ombudsman: May mga namatay ba?

Syjuco: Hindi ko rin alam.

Ombudsman: Eh ‘yong term na TANGA, alam mo?

Syjuco:

Ombudsman: Nagtatanong lang!

* * * * *

Syjuco: Madam Ombudsman, kakasuhan ko si Noynoy Aquino ng mass murder!

Ombudsman: Ok.

Syjuco: Kakasuhan ko rin siya ng plunder!

Ombudsman: Ok.

Syjuco: Kakasuhan ko siya ng mass murder at plunder.

Ombudsman: Ok. May ebidensya ka ba?

Syjuco: Ako na nga ang bahala sa kaso, pati ba naman ebidensya ako pa rin?!?

Ombudsman:

Syjuco: Tanong ho ‘yon. Nagtatanong lang din.

* * * * *

Syjuco: Madam Ombudsman, kakasuhan ko si Noynoy Aquino ng plunder!

Ombudsman: Ok.

Syjuco: Kakasuhan ko rin siya ng mass murder!

Ombudsman: Ok.

Syjuco: Mabibigat na kaso ’yan: plunder at mass murder.

Ombudsman: Ok. Nasaan ang ebidensya?

Syjuco: Kayo na ang maghanap, trabaho n’yo na yun.

Ombudsman: Ano ngang pangalan mo?

Syjuco: Augusto Syjuco.

Ombudsman: Akala ko Larry Gadon.

Syjuco:

Ombudsman: Sure kang ‘di ka si Larry Gadon?

1debutjeffgalang
Photo Shoot
Paolo ‘Pulong’ Duterte’s daughter, Isabelle had a pre-debut photo shoot in Malacañang Palace no less! A glam team was invited to do the shoot. Rumors say Isabelle’s upcoming debut party has a budget of P6.4B.

Less than a month ago, the daughter of Duterte supporter, Robin Padilla was baptized at the Malago Clubhouse in Malacañang with President Duterte as ninong. Binyag. Birthday. And lest we forget, Malacañang has been promoting ‘libing’ since Duterte took office. #EventsPlace

In Other News…
Bureau of Customs collector Vincent Philip Maronilla who was implicated by PDEA in the smuggling of a shabu shipment worth P6.4B has been appointed by President Duterte as Customs district collector at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. Maronilla thanked the President for the promotion and promised that he would be extra careful next time – for himself, his family, and Pulong Duterte.
————————————————————————————————————————————–
“There’s money, and then there’s class. The two are often separated.”
~Kate Jacobs

Sound Bites
“The purpose was there. We’re just using each other, and I was using them.”
~Rodrigo Duterte on the Philippine Communist Movement

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Sheree Tan: Philippine Star ; Augusto Syjuco: Rappler; Isabelle Duterte: Jeff Galang]

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