LAST MONDAY, July 24, President Duterte delivered his second and last State of the
Nutcase Nation Address.
President Duterte was in his usual element – cursing and joking from the start ’til the end of his profanity-laden speech. He didn’t talk that much about the state of the nation but his words exposed so much about the state of his mental health.
Lawmakers, Cabinet men, and supporters laughed at his jokes. While talking about his brutal war on drugs, he said, “I value human life the way I value mine.” That was his funniest joke – ever.
Reiterating his pro-death penalty stance, President Duterte insisted that a criminal couldn’t be reformed because “the son of a bitch is a human being with a virulent brain.” He just proved it.
Despite local and international pressure, Duterte said he would continue the bloody and violent anti-drug war. Or as Supt. Marvin Marcos would call it, “job opportunity.”
According to President Duterte, CPP-NPA founding chairman Jose Maria Sison is sick with colon cancer. Duterte won’t confirm rumors though they have the same oncologist.
Overall, militant groups gave Duterte’s SONA a failing grade. To be specific, they gave him a Stage 4 out of 10.
Duterte vs. the Media
As expected, Duterte attacked the media in his speech. In particular, he called on social news network, Rappler (for being foreign-owned, allegedly) and broadcast giant, ABS-CBN for alleged unfair reporting. Surprisingly, there was no specific mention of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, his soon-to-be-favorite broadsheet.
A day after Duterte’s SONA, the Philippine Daily Inquirer came out with a banner story titled, “DUTERTE BULLIES ‘ENEMIES’ IN SONA. To which, Duterte reacted, “Enjoy it while it lasts.”
The President commended Ted Failon for doing an episode on mining in his weekend program. Failon was the only broadcaster lauded by Duterte in his SONA – prompting the Tulfo brothers to ask, “What else should we do?”
Duterte also lambasted human rights advocates for supporting detained Senator Leila De Lima saying, “Can she be a moral person?” Duterte was supposed to expound on the issue of morality but realized Pantaleon Alvarez was just behind him and he might take offense.
Sen. Nancy Binay fell asleep while President Duterte was delivering his speech. And for the first time since Nancy attended the annual event, netizens could relate to her.
While President Duterte was delivering his second State of the Nation Address, TV cameras caught Sen. Nancy Binay sleeping. To be fair to Nancy, Congress OJTs are allowed one hour of rest per day.
President Duterte reiterated his appeal to the United States to return the three Balangiga bells seized by American soldiers from a church in Eastern Samar almost a century ago saying “they are part of our national heritage.” We salute the President for his patriotism. Will he be as passionate if we start calling it Balangiga Shoal, Balangiga Reef, or Balangiga Sea?
For the first time in history, a president used the Visayan term for masturbation in his SONA. Apparently, Duterte couldn’t help it because he was speaking in front of so many dicks.
Controversial Manila Mayor Joseph “Manila Bay” Estrada attended the event at the Batasang Pambansa. Some people thought he was there to conduct a clean-up drive considering the staggering amount of garbage present at the venue.
In Other News…
DOT’s Wanda Tulfo-Teo reported that tourism revenue rose to P220.30 billion during the first year of the Duterte administration. Congratulations, and thank you to the brilliant and hardworking Tourism secretary, Ramon Jimenez!
“This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector.”
“Rambling, shouting, warning, and bullying his ‘enemies.’ He knows what issues click, what emojis to use. To be populist than being right.”
~Akbayan Party-list Rep. Tomasito Villarin on Duterte’s Second Sona
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.
[Photos: Duterte: Rappler; Inquirer.net]