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SUPERMAN

2 03 2017

0dds
SELF-CONFESSED Duterte henchman, Arturo Lascañas has been preparing for his explosive DDS story on Monday at the Senate – while Vitaliano Aguirre is preparing another ambush story to divert public attention from the tell-all.

Retired policeman Arturo Lascañas said the code used by the Davao Death Squad for then Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte was ‘Superman.’ He claimed ‘Superman’ ordered them to go after his “personal and political enemies.” Last week, President Duterte admitted knowing Lascañas and meeting him a couple of times every year. When asked where, he replied, “Krypton.”

Self-confessed DDS leader SPO3 Arturo Lascañas said they used ‘Superman’ as code for then Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte. Whenever they mentioned ‘Superman’ in Davao, they were talking about just one: Duterte. There were several ‘Lois Lanes’ though.

Martin “$1,000” Andanar said the revelations of SPO3 Arturo Lascañas were part of a “political drama aimed to destroy the President.” No offense but, what’s there to destroy?

Focus
Vice President Leni Robredo has called on President Duterte to focus on the “war on poverty.” In response, Duterte said, “That has always been the priority of my death squads: the poor.

0jimparedes
Honored
Solicitor General Jose Calida honored 10 Duterte-BBM Youth members (who stormed the #EDSA31 celebration last Feb. 26) with a ‘Republic Defenders’ pin. You have probably seen the video. A member of the group couldn’t utter a single word when singer-songwriter and People Power defender Jim Paredes lectured him on extrajudicial killing. The guy deserved more than a pin for surviving that prolonged embarrassment.

Threat
Duterte-BBM Youth members, with the backing of Solicitor General Jose Calida, will reportedly file a case against Duterte critic Jim Paredes. Rumors say they’re charging him with assault and they have a very strong evidence to show – their bruised ego.

0andanarrappler
Ignored
In an effort to patch things up between Martin Andanar and Senate reporters whom Andanar recently accused of corruption, Senate President Koko Pimentel secretly invited the Communications Secretary to a dinner he hosted for the Senate media. While there though, Andanar was ignored by Senate reporters. Or as Mocha Uson would say, “Senate reporters, hindi pinansin si Secretary Martin Andanar matapos malamang hindi ito mamimigay ng 1,000 dollars.”

Ignored II
In a dinner hosted by Senate President Koko Pimentel for Senate reporters, Martin Andanar showed up. Senate reporters ignored him big time. But he was unfazed. He stayed. For that alone, Jose Calida is honoring Andanar with a ‘Republic Defenders’ pin.

Lent
Ash Wednesday (March 1) marked the start of Lent. Many are giving up something for Lent like junk food, sex, smoking, etc. The Philippine Senate just gave up its independence.

Up Next
Speaking before a huge crowd of Duterte fanatics at Rizal Park, Vitaliano Aguirre shouted, “Sino ang gusto n’yong isunod (na ikulong)?” Senators Zubiri, Gatchalian, Escudero, Villanueva, and Ejercito slammed Aguirre for his behavior which they described as “unbecoming of a justice secretary” and “irresponsible.” Well, Aguirre has repeatedly proven he was unfit to serve as justice secretary and yet, you, dear senators still confirmed his appointment. Talk about responsibility.

Barker
Sen. Grace Poe says as justice secretary Vitaliano Aguirre is expected to be fair and should not “moonlight as a ‘perya’ barker who agitates the crowd.” Aguirre felt slighted by Poe’s ‘perya barker’ comparison since his actual intention was to be a circus clown.

0lalaland
Oscars
This year’s Academy Awards ended in a messy mix-up when the assigned PricewaterhouseCoopers accountant, Brian Cullinan handed the wrong envelope to the presenters. It was an epic fail. Palpak ang trabaho. Reports say Cullinan will probably lose his job. He should not worry though because the Duterte government is interested in hiring him.

Oscars II
One of my favorite Oscar moments was ‘In Memoriam’ where we remember those who died the previous year. Among those we lost in 2016 were Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, Prince, and the logic of Duterte fanatics.
________________________________________________________________________________________
“He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.”
~Adolf Hitler

Sound Bites
“You are expected to administer justice fairly and not to moonlight as a ‘perya’ barker who agitates the crowd.”
~Sen. Grace Poe to Vitaliano Aguirre

Kadiri.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Lascañas: Voltaire Domingo, NPPA; Andanar: Camille Elemia/Rappler; Oscars: Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP]

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