LET THERE BE LIGHT (2016)

12 11 2016

untitled
Light bulb jokes, anyone?

Q: How many President Dutertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One but it will probably take him 3 to 6 months (or even longer) to accomplish it.

Q: How many President Dutertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to buy a new bulb from China and another to change it.

Q: How many President Dutertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the universe revolves around him.

Q: How many President Dutertes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to curse America out of habit.

Q: How many Vitaliano Aguirres does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to insist that Leila De Lima was responsible for the old bulb burning out.

Q: How many high-profile inmates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depends. What do they get in return?

Q: How many Leila De Limas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to initiate a probe on the possible involvement of President Duterte in the old light bulb’s death.

Q: How many General Bato De la Rosas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one but he’ll only do it in front of TV cameras and photographers.

Q: How many palace spokespersons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least five. One to change it and four to interpret what just happened.

Q: How many Alan Peter Cayetanos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to downplay the light bulb’s “death” saying more light bulbs “died” during the previous administration.

Q: How many Kris Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to tease the ‘event’ on Instagram, another to officially announce it in a presscon, and the third to actually change it.

Q: How many Supreme Court justices does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 14. Five to change it and nine to bury the burnt bulb at the Libingan ng mga Bayani.

Q: How many Official Gazette editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the new bulb and another to screw it in again – but with a new twist.

Q: How many Duterte fanatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They won’t because the light bulb is “dilawan” and they hate anything “yellow.”

Q: How many Mocha Usons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to insinuate on Facebook that the “dead” light bulb took drugs and it deserved to die.

Q: How many Sandro Marcoses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The question is: does he even know what a light bulb is?

Q: How many La Salle basketeers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to import a reliable and really good light bulb and another to shout “Animo La Salle” while the third is changing it.

Q: How many UST basketeers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They would rather change their coach.

Q: How many UP Pep Squad members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They rather not. Maybe next year.

Q: How many Alma Morenos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Dasal lang. Dasal lang talaga.
————————————————————————————————————————
“To fight evil, you have to understand the dark.”
~Nalini Singh, ‘Heart of Obsidian’

Soundbites
“President Duterte, please give me a chance. I hope one day mamahalin mo rin ako.”
~Kris Aquino on Duterte’s snub of a scheduled interview

Do not insist.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo courtesy of Vector Stock and Mochablogger]

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