A SEPARATION

23 10 2016

“America has lost. I, in this venue, your honors, in this venue, I announce my separation from the United States both in military — not in social — both in military but economic. I am separated from them, so I will be dependent on you for all time.”
~President Duterte in Beijing, China

1duterte
IN FRONT of Chinese businessmen and Chinese Vice Premier Zhang Gaoli, President Duterte announced his “separation” from the United States and revealed his plan to talk to “President Vladimir Putin and tell him that there are three of us against the world – China, Philippines and Russia.” Shortly after, Filipinos online announced their ‘separation’ from Rodrigo Duterte.

According to President Rodrigo Duterte, it will be the triumvirate of China, Philippines and Russia “against the world.” Baffled, the world asked, “Inaano ba kita? Punyeta ka!”

Moments after announcing his “separation from the US,” President Duterte revealed his intention to tell Vladimir Putin “there are three of us against the world – China, Philippines and Russia.” Although it wasn’t reported that day, Sanity also announced its separation from Rodrigo Duterte.

Just a day after announcing in Beijing his “separation” from the United States – both military and economic, President Duterte backtracked. He said the country would not sever ties with the US – prompting the Makabayan bloc to cancel a victory party scheduled for tonight.

Exerting his best effort to interpret the President’s controversial statement, Presidential Communications chief Martin Andanar said, “It’s like a father and a son and the son has to leave the house, and the son has to marry and move to a different house.” But before leaving, the son had to curse his father and call him ‘son of a bitch’ while flashing a dirty finger.

Presidential Communications chief Martin Andanar said, “Separation is not an annulment. It’s not a divorce. It’s like a father and a son and the son has to leave the house, and the son has to marry and move to a different house.” Thank you Brother Andanar for sharing with us that engaging parable of foreign policy.

Saying we must wait for official guidelines, Presidential Communications Office Assistant Secretary Marie Banaag said the public should not “interpret” the President’s statement. Which makes sense since there’s already a government department for that.

Rowdy, Discourteous
Continuing his tirades against Westerners in front of the Chinese, President Duterte said, “Americans are a very discourteous people. They are a little bit loud, sometimes rowdy.” To be exact, Americans are the second rowdiest group of people in the world – next only to Duterte fanatics.

Quote of the Weak
Sandro Marcos continues to showcase his comedic talent online. Reacting to the President’s pronouncements in Beijing, Bongbong Marcos’s son tweeted, “Duterte shying away from the US actually makes sense in the long term, at least for now ” – forcing Agot Isidro to advise, “May kakilala akong Language teacher. Pa-tutor ka.”

Disclaimer
Before the President is allowed to deliver a speech or asked to comment on something, there must be a disclaimer. I suggest any of the following:

The views expressed by Rodrigo Duterte do not necessarily reflect the views of the government of the Republic of the Philippines or the Filipino people.

The views and opinions expressed by Rodrigo Duterte do not necessarily represent official policy or position of the Republic of the Philippines or its citizens.

Ang mga pananaw ni Rodrigo Duterte ay kanya lamang at hindi kumakatawan sa pananaw o opisyal na polisiya ng Republika ng Pilipinas at ng mga Filipino maliban na lamang sa mga panatikong oo lang nang oo sa kanyang mga sinasabi at ginagawa.

Ang talumpati o pahayag na ito ay Rated SPG: Striktong Patnubay at Gabay ng magulang ang kailangan. Maaaring may maseselang tema, lengguwahe, karahasan, pagbabanta, sekswal, homophobia, misogyny, at droga na hindi angkop sa mga bata.
————————————————————————————————————————————–
“Telling someone who is manic that he’s manic is like telling a dictator that he’s a dick. Neither is going to admit it, and both are willing to torture you to prove their points.”
~Melody Moezzi, ‘Haldol and Hyacinths: A Bipolar Life’

Sound Bites
“It is not severance of ties. You say severance of ties, you cut the diplomatic relations. I cannot do that. It is in the best interest of my country that we maintain that relationship.”
~President Duterte explaining his ‘separation’ statement

SMH.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Duterte: Rappler]

Advertisements

Actions

Information

One response

25 10 2016
A SEPARATION — The Professional Heckler – Fearless Pinay

[…] via A SEPARATION — The Professional Heckler […]

Like

Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: