THE 31st Summer Olympics is underway in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The Philippines has yet to win a gold medal in the quadrennial meet. This year, we sent 13 Filipino athletes to Rio. Realistically speaking though, our only chance of winning gold right now is if extrajudicial killing would be made an Olympic sport.
According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, some 660 drug suspects have been killed to date: 436 in police operations and 224 by unidentified assailants. On the rising death toll, President Duterte, said Thursday, “I do not care. I really don’t care.” But on Friday evening, the President acknowledged the abuses in the battle against illegal drugs – for the very first time – fueling speculations he was high on drugs.
President Duterte has issued a ‘shoot-to-kill’ order against politicians a.k.a. narcopoliticos who are allegedly involved in the illegal drugs trade. Malacañang reveals two of those narcopoliticos have actually visited President Duterte and cried in front of him. To be fair, small time pushers and addicts don’t cry. But their widows and orphans do.
A Social Weather Stations survey conducted from June 24 to 27 revealed there are fewer poor Filipinos right now. Congratulations President Duterte and General Bato De La Rosa. Success!
The Philippine National Police recently launched its new mascot – PO1 Bato, a bald cop in full uniform. During the press launch, it got a bit awkward though when reporters noted that the PNP chief was behaving like a mascot more than the actual mascot did.
Shots Fired, Again
President Duterte has yet again mocked Netherlands-based Communist leader Jose Ma. Sison,. The President says Sison speaks as if he’s somebody when in reality he cannot even control a barangay. To be specific, “remote control” a barangay.
The Bureau of Customs clarified that the reported appointment of sexy performer Mocha Uson as a social media consultant was just a joke. But such joke was no laughing matter because… she’s the bomb!
Top 5 Recommended Appointees Who Will (Probably) Perform Better Than Mocha Uson
No. 5: Department of Science and Technology: Nanette Inventor
No. 4: PAGASA’s Astronomy Section (Planetarium): Zenaida Seva
No. 3: Lolit Solis: SOLICITor General
No. 2: Tim Yap and Raymond Gutierrez: Integrated Bar of the Philippines
And the No. 1 recommended appointee who will probably perform better than Mocha Uson:
Robin Padilla: ‘Tol Regulatory Board
Losing vice presidential candidate Bongbong Marcos claims President Duterte has given his family the go signal to bury the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. The burial will reportedly take place on Sept. 18 – which, incidentally has been declared ‘Let’s Pretend that Martial Law Didn’t Happen’ Day.
Most millennials do not know who Ferdinand Marcos is. They’re only familiar with, ONE: the body on display at the Marcos mausoleum, and TWO, online stories about his World War II medals. And those two have something in common. Fake.
As I’ve mentioned earlier, the Summer Olympics has officially kicked off in Rio. In aquatic sports, the first gold medal has been awarded to Orlando Bloom.
Pokemon G0, the popular, free-to-play mobile app has been officially launched in the Philippines. And I don’t care. I really don’t care.
Pokemon G0 has been launched in the country. Game-loving Filipinos will soon be looking for pocket monsters – a sort of diversion for those who have gotten tired of looking for love.
“It is hard to talk about a middle ground for something that is a fundamental right.”
“Shoot on sight means – just because you suspect someone or the President declared someone is a drug lord and you will kill him… that’s a violation of law. If they do that, then that would clearly be murder.”
~Sen. Panfilo Lacson on President Duterte’s shoot-on-sight order
“Itong si [Joma] Sison, nagbubula-bula ang baba, laway niya lumulusot doon sa screen. Akala mo naman kung sino magsalita. Ni hindi nga sila makahawak ng isang barangay.”
~President Duterte on self-exiled Communist leader Jose Ma. Sison
Stay safe. Stay alive. Huwag manlalaban.
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.
[Photos: New York Times; PNP Mascot: Philippine Star; Marcos: Getty Images]