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HOTLINE, DRUG ADDICTS, BREXIT, AND OTHER STORIES

28 06 2016

1pdi
INCOMING PRESIDENT Rodrigo Duterte says he will set up 12 phone lines where people can directly call to report corruption in government. This early, Duterte is apologizing to potential callers because all 12 lines will be very busy.

Scenarios
Hotline: Office of the President, ano pong maitutulong namin?

Caller: ‘Yong aming congressman, magnanakaw.

Hotline: May pruweba ho ba kayo?

Caller: ‘Di ba ‘pag congressman, magnanakaw naman talaga? Nabago na ba?

* * * * *

Hotline: Office of the President, ano pong maitutulong namin?

Customs Official:

Hotline: Hello?!? Office of the President, may isusumbong ho ba kayo?

Customs Official:

Hotline: (ibinaba ang telepono)

Customs Official: ‘Tang ina, totoo nga.

* * * * *

Hotline: Good morning, sa Office of the President po ito, ano pong isusumbong n’yo?

Caller: Pwede bang malaman ang number ni Mocha Uson?

Hotline: Hindi ho ito directory.

Caller: Wala pa ring pagbabago sa gobyerno! Wala kayong silbi! Bye!

1Brexit
In a decision that shocked the international community, 52 percent of voters in the United Kingdom chose to leave the European Union. Analysts say leading advocates of Brexit succeeded because of their promise to eradicate criminality in 3 to 6 months.

Lost
He urged his countrymen to vote ‘Remain’ and campaigned really hard to win but British Prime Minister David Cameron still lost. He will step down soon, take a break, and probably, spend some quality time with his nephews, Josh and Bimby Cameron.

Wrong
In a referendum to decide whether the UK should leave or stay as a member of the European Union, survey firms predicted that 52 percent will vote Remain and 48 percent will vote Leave. They were wrong! The final vote showed 52 percent opted to ‘Leave’ and 48 percent voted to Remain. When sought for a reaction, London-based student Sandro Marcos says he respects the result of the election because the numbers totaled 100 percent.

Brexit Aftermath
In Scotland, where the ‘Remain’ vote prevailed, people are talking about leaving the United Kingdom through another referendum. In London, residents are calling for a referendum to decide whether Tom Hiddleston should leave or remain with Taylor Swift.

Critical
President Aquino was the guest of honor and commencement speaker at the recent Ateneo De Manila University graduation ceremony. The outgoing president encouraged the graduates to be critical. A skill he has mastered as president at the expense of the previous administration.

1kORINA
The Graduate
Journalist and ex-future First Lady Korina Sanchez is also a member of Class 2016. She just finished her master’s degree in journalism at the Ateneo De Manila University. In an interview before the elections, the feisty broadcaster said, taking higher studies wasn’t just to gain more knowledge but “a way to discipline my mind.” Said Anderson Cooper, “Good to know.”

Drug Addicts
Citing government data, incoming president Rodrigo Duterte says there are around 3 million drug addicts in the country. He explains not all drug addicts can be put in jail or rehab at the same time. Mostly awake at night, many of them roam the streets, jam with fellow addicts, or attend rave parties sponsored by a toothpaste brand.

Platform
Incoming president Rodrigo Duterte says his government is for the helpless, the hopeless, and the defenseless. And to prove this, he’ll continue doing what he has started in Davao City: wage war against suspected criminals who are helpless, hopeless, and defenseless.

1JonSnowGame of Thrones
Fans of the highly-acclaimed HBO series, ‘Game of Thrones’ are still talking about the epic Season 6 finalé. One of the show’s highlights was when supporters of Jon Snow declared him ‘King in the North’ prompting Bongbong Marcos to file a protest.

Draw
The highly-publicized URCC bout between actors Kiko Matos and Baron Geisler ended in a draw. Spectators who thought Matos dominated the fight were surprised by the result. Even more surprising was the fact that many people took this gimmickry seriously.
———————————————————————————————————————————————–
“In war, truth is the first casualty.”
~Aeschylus

Sound Bites
“I think that the Church not only should apologize to a gay person whom it offended but it must also apologize to the poor as well, to the women who have been exploited, to children who have been exploited by (being forced to) work. It must apologize for having blessed so many weapons.”
~Pope Francis

Winter is here.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Duterte: Inquirer.net; Brexit: ICEF Monitor; Korina Sanchez, IG]

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One response

28 06 2016
Powell Abogado

King in the Nooorth! Hahaha

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