SUPER MAJORITY

9 06 2016

1DuterteINQ
DURING THE election period, PDP-Laban had only three members in the House of Representatives. Last week, the party successfully lured almost 200 solons into forming a ‘super majority’ in the Lower House. That’s not surprising though. Horticulturists say the balimbing tree produces fruits faster in a soil full of shit and manure.

Boycott
President-elect Rodrigo Duterte says he’ll no longer grant media interviews. Right now, only the crew of PTV 4 is being allowed entry to Duterte’s guest house in Davao City. To those asking, “PTV” stands for People’s Television and “4” is the average number of people who tune in to that channel everyday.

Plans
Incoming Presidential Communications Operations Office chief Martin Andanar says the Duterte administration may print its own tabloid. They haven’t decided on the tabloid’s name yet but Duterte is reportedly keen on calling it ‘Balitang Ina Mo.’

1JPEInqGoodbye
After spending 50 years in politics, hardworking senator Juan Ponce Enrile has said goodbye to public service. The 92-year-old says he will not involve himself again in politics and intends to just focus on the future. Which is near. And I mean, very near.

Juan Ponce Enrile spent the last 50 years of his life in politics. If there is justice in this world, he will spend the rest of his life in prison.

Goodbye II
Also over, Bong Revilla’s and Jinggoy Estrada’s senatorial terms. They can now concentrate on their jail terms.

Liability
President-elect Duterte’s choice for House Speaker, Davao del Norte Rep. Pantaleon Alvarez says the 17th Congress will lower the age of criminal liability from the current 15 years old to 12 years old. Alvarez has cited reports that more and more children are being used by criminal syndicates in their operations. If the proposed bill is approved, criminal liability will be from 12 to Juan Ponce Enrile.

SOCE
Election laws state that candidates must submit their statement of contributions and expenditures to the Commission on Elections. This year, the deadline was June 8 which coincidentally was declared World Fiction Writing Day.

Walang Himala
The Vatican has decreed that the reported apparitions of the Virgin Mary and the shower of rose petals in Lipa City, Batangas in 1948 had no supernatural basis. That came as a shock since it was announced by the same group of people who still believe in talking snakes or that humans can turn into pillars of salt.

1CNBC
US Polls
It’s official. Hillary Clinton will go head-to-head with Donald Trump in the US presidential elections this November. Clinton is the official candidate of the Democratic Party while controversial Trump won the nomination of PDP-Laban.
——————————————————————————————————————————
“There’s something wrong with your character if opportunity controls your loyalty.”
~Anonymous

Sound Bites
“Sorry huh. Talagang ano ako, boycott talaga until the end of my term. ‘Pag interview, maraming mali, marami namang criticism, so better no interview, no criticism, no wrong statement, no nothing
~President-elect Rodrigo Duterte

“Such provocative messages indicate to any person who is displeased by the work of a journalist or an activist, for example, that they can attack or kill them without fear of sanction.”
~Christof Heyns, UN expert on summary executions re: Duterte’s recent statement

“Fuck you UN… Shut up all of you.”
~President-elect Duterte

Stay classy.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Duterte & Enrile: Inquirer.net; Trump & Clinton: CNBC]

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