MAGNANAKAW

18 03 2016

1prez

THE CANDIDATES for president will take a break after Sunday’s debate to take part in some Holy Week activities.

Overheard Part 1: Senakulo
Grace Poe: Hi guys! May nag-i-invite sa atin para gumanap sa senakulo. Game ba kayo?

Roxas: Oo naman! Ano pa bang roles ang hanap nila?

Duterte: ‘Yong magnanakaw na ipapako katabi ni Hesus. Kulang pa yata sila ng isa.

Miriam: Well, I know someone who’s perfect for the role.

Binay: Ulol!

Overheard Part 2: Magnanakaw
Binay: O, invited pala ang mga presidentiables sa senakulo. Kailangan daw nila ng taong gaganap na magnanakaw. Ngayon na ang rehearsal. As in, right now.

Duterte: Eh ba’t nandito ka pa?

Binay:

Duterte: Nagtatanong lang. Bawal?!?

Overheard Part 3: Barabbas
Binay: Miriam, sali tayo sa senakulo. Kailangan pa nila ng gaganap na Hudas at Barabbas.

Miriam: Sige, ako na ‘yong Barabbas. ‘Di ba s’ya ‘yong pipiliin ng taumbayan para palayain?

Binay: Ay! ‘Di ka nga pala pwedeng mag-Barabbas. Kasi, baka ‘pag tinanong ang taumbayan kung sino ang dapat palayain, malamang 3 percent lang ang magtaas ng kamay. Mababago ang kwento.

Miriam:

Binay: Joooooke! Bawal magalit. Baka ma-stress.

Overheard Part 4: Hesus
Binay: O guys, invited tayo sa senakulo. Naghahanap pa raw ng taong gaganap na Hesus. Siyempre, dapat may charisma at relatable sa masa.

Roxas: Tara!

Binay: SABI KO, MAY CHARISMA AT RELATABLE SA MASA!!! MAHIRAP BANG INTINDIHIN ‘YON?

Roxas:

Binay: Grabe naman ‘tong makatingin. Kung ako nga ang masabihan n’yong magnanakaw, ganun-ganun na lang! Napikon ba ako?!

Overheard Part 5: Options
Roxas: O guys, ang daming nag-i-invite sa atin for Holy Week. Kung pupunta tayo, saan kaya mas sure ang boto: senakulo o pabasa?

Binay: Visita Iglesia!

Roxas:

Binay: May sure 1 million votes ka do’n Kapatid. Ayaw mo pa?

Overheard Part 6: Stations of the Cross
Grace: Teka, taken na raw ang roles for the Virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene at maging ‘yong Veronica. May role pa ba para sa akin?

Roxas: Meron. Sa Stations of the Cross.

Grace: I’ll carry my own cross?

Roxas: Hindi. Ipagpapatuloy mo ang mga nasimulan ni Hesus.

Grace:

Roxas: #medyowaley

Overheard Part 7: Extrajudicial Killing
Roxas: Uy, join tayo sa senakulo. Marami pang roles na open.

Duterte: Pwede bang ako na si Hesus?

Roxas: Naku! Mas bagay kung ikaw ang papatay kay Hesus.

Duterte:

Roxas:

Duterte: F*ck you! Pisti!
—————————————————————————————————————————
“Tradition is a fragile thing in a culture built entirely on the memories of the elders.”
~Alice Albinia, Empires of the Indus: The Story of a River

Sound Bites
“I received threats. The threat was passed through a high official from a close and valued ally-politician of the vice president. They said they are going to run after me if the vice president wins as president. Go ahead, I welcome that. I’m not scared.”
~Ombudsman Conchita Carpio-Morales

Enjoy your weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo: Philstar.Com]

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