Mayor Duterte says he will make public his medical records only if Mar Roxas will show he is circumcised.

Last Thursday, Mayor Rodrigo Duterte was forced to cancel a speaking engagement. Reports say a respiratory infection triggered a headache, nausea and vomiting – the same symptoms experienced by people who repeatedly watched videos of him locking lips with his female supporters.

When asked if he was willing to release his medical records to the public, Mayor Duterte said, “I will release them if Mar Roxas will show he is circumcised.” To which, Korina Sanchez replied, “Sus! Maliit na bagay.”

Dare II
Mayor Duterte says he will make public his medical records if Mar Roxas will show he is circumcised. The Roxas camp described this latest tirade as “below the belt.”

Vice presidential candidate Bongbong Marcos recently launched an online gimmick called “Bongbong Into My Heart” – in which a lucky netizen stands a chance to win an exclusive lunch date with him. Apparently, Bongbong got his inspiration from Mayor Duterte’s own much talked-about gimmick called “Digong On Your Lips.”

Lent officially started last Wednesday. It’s the time of the year when Christians usually give up something as a form of sacrifice like a favorite food, hobby or a habit. Grace Poe will never forget Lent of 2001. That year, she gave up being a Filipino.

Scientists say there are 80 million microbes in a kiss but most are harmless and actually protect us from infections. Mayor Duterte calls it “a vindication of sorts.”

Scientists have found proof of gravitational waves from two black holes that collided some 1.3 billion years ago. Filipinos would have been more impressed if scientists could help locate Ebeng Baloloy and Gerry Limlingan.

Premature Cam
Senatorial aspirant Sandra Cam is furious at Alan Peter Cayetano. Cam said Cayetano barred her from speaking at Mayor Duterte’s proclamation rally in Tondo, Manila. Preventing Cam from speaking was totally unfair because the crowd was deprived of the chance to ignore her.

PBA import Ivan Johnson of Tropang TNT has been banned from the PBA and was slapped with P250,000 fine for cursing league officials. The cursing import has since left Manila and relocated to a city deemed friendlier to him – Davao.

According to a recent Social Weather Stations study, 73 percent of adult Filipinos believe in ‘forever.’ To the remaining 27 percent… ‘wag nang bitter. Move on na please.
“Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it’s not.”
~Rosalind Kaplan

Sound Bites
“I am well. Do not worry about my health. Worry about yourselves so you can vote for me.”
~Mayor Rodrigo Duterte

“May nagsabi pa nga, ‘ano ba naman ang experience ni Senator Grace Poe, teacher lang ‘yan.’ Totoo, kulang ako sa karanasan sa pagnanakaw at pangungurakot.”
~Sen. Grace Poe

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Duterte: ABSCBN News Screengrab; Bongbong Marcos Twitter; Gravitational Waves: Extreme]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler


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