DUTERTE, CONCUBINAGE, AND OTHER STORIES

27 11 2015

1DIONG
DAVAO CITY MAYOR Rodrigo Duterte topped the latest Pulse Asia survey on preferred candidates for president in the National Capital Region. The poll was conducted even before the tough-talking mayor officially declared his intention to run. He’s killing it!

Here’s the copy of the questionnaire used in the NCR survey.

Pulse Asia
Third Quarter Survey
National Capital Region

SINO ANG IBOBOTO mo sa pagkapangulo sa 2016? Magpasya habang binabasa ang sumusunod na tanong.

1: Araw ng eleksyon. Patungo ka sa presinto para bumoto, sakay ng jeep, nang biglang may magdeklara ng holdup. Sino ang iboboto mo sa 2016?
_ Binay
_ Duterte
_ Poe
_ Roxas
_ Santiago

2. ‘Yong ex mong guwapo, addict na ngayon. Grabe kasi ang bentahan ng drugs sa kanilang lugar. Sino ang iboboto mo sa 2016?
_ Binay
_ Duterte
_ Poe
_ Roxas
_ Santiago

3: Inutang lang ng iyong nanay ang ibinili n’yo ng bigas. Matapos isaing, peke pala ang nabili mong bigas. Malamang, smuggled! Sino ang iboboto mo sa 2016?
_ Binay
_ Duterte
_ Poe
_ Roxas
_ Santiago

4: May asthma ka. Tahimik kang nagbabasa sa isang pampublikong park nang may maupo sa tabi mo. Grabe kung manigarilyo ang damuho. Daig pa ang tambutso. Eh malinaw naman ang nakasulat sa karatula: No Smoking. Sino ang iboboto mo sa 2016?
_ Binay
_ Duterte
_ Poe
_ Roxas
_ Santiago

5: Na-late ka sa iyong trabaho. Grabe kasi ang traffic dahil sa mga motoristang walang disiplina. Ang dami pa ring bus driver na nagbababa ng pasahero sa gitna ng EDSA. Sino ang iboboto mo sa 2016?
_ Binay
_ Duterte
_ Poe
_ Roxas
_ Santiago

Maraming salamat sa paglahok sa survey na ito. Makakaasa kang mabibilang ang iyong boto. Ingat sa pag-uwi. Paalala: ‘Wag kang basta-basta maglalabas ng cellphone, baka ma-snatch. Sino nga palang iboboto mo sa 2016?

—Nothing follows—

1DIONGConcubinage
Judy Amante, wife of Agusan Del Sur Rep. Erlpe John Amante has filed concubinage charges against the congressman and his alleged mistress, Katrina Mortola. Congressman Amante has refused to be interviewed by the media. He was last seen leaving his home in Cabadbaran City waving goodbye to his kids, his maids, and his political career.

Disaster-Prone
According to a study conducted by the UN Office for Disaster Risk Reduction (UNDRR), the Philippines is the fourth most disaster-prone country in the world. The study covered weather-related disasters only. We would have ranked higher if the study also covered government and politics.

1DIONG
Vandolph
Reacting to his mom’s interview on ANC’s Headstart recently, actor Vandolph Quizon said TV host Karen Davila humiliated his mom on national TV. Vandolph just proved that he is indeed Dolphy’s son. He’s so funny.

According to Vandolph, ANC host Karen Davila humiliated his mom on national TV. That’s nothing Vandolph. Wait ’til thinking Filipino voters humiliate your mom in the national elections.

Vandolph explained that Karen Davila should have respected Alma because she’s the “chairman of the Philippine Councilors League” for years. In response, Davila said Alma should have respected the Senate because the institution has been there for decades.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
“Dictators long ago found that it is easier to unite people in common hatred than in common love.”
~Dagobert Runes, A Dictionary of Thought

2016 Elections
A natural-born Filipino
A non-natural-born Filipino
A natural-born thief
A natural stubborn
A natural-born killer

Sound Bites
“If I become president, I advise you people to put up several funeral parlor businesses because I am against illegal drugs… I might kill someone because of it.”
~Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte

Elsewhere
Is a benevolent dictatorship possible?
“People don’t have to be killed; they just have to be held accountable. After all, righting the ship requires the choice of everyone on board, not the fear that the captain might kill you. You can obey traffic rules to avoid imprisonment or you can just obey traffic rules because that’s what non-a-holes do in a civilized society. You can refrain from stealing taxpayer’s money in fear of being executed by the ruler of the land or you can just stop doing that because people’s lives are actually at stake.”

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Duterte: Philstar.Com; Amante: Congress.ph; Vandolph: ABSCBNPR]

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