Advertisements

ICYMI: 2015, THE FIRST HALF

14 06 2015

IT’S TIME for the midyear recap again. Ang bilis ng taon! Here are some of my favorite posts from the previous [almost] six months. In case you missed it…


Jinggoy’s Son
Detained senator Jinggoy Estrada was allowed to attend the high school graduation rites of his son at OB Montessori. An ecstatic Jinggoy said, “I’m so proud of him finishing school.” Filipino taxpayers added, “It was all worth it naman pala.”

Taxes
The BIR has a TV ad that shows where your taxes go: infrastructure, education, and social services. Politicians were offended by the apparent snub.

Bullying
Vice President Binay said there should be a law against “bullying public officials.” It will be called “An Act To Prevent Ordinary People From Bullying Those Who Most Certainly Deserve It.”

2016
Political analysts say a presidential candidate needs a campaign war chest of about 10 to 15 billion pesos. That’s the amount you need to apply for “the job.” And of course, you have to answer questions like, “Where do you see yourself depositing your loot in six years?”

President Aquino advised Filipino voters to reject shady politicians in 2016. This has prompted Nancy and Junjun Binay to call the President “racist.”

Several local government officials sponsored a public viewing of the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight last Sunday. It was live and it was free. So thank you Governor, thank you Mayor, thank you Kagawad, and most of all, thank you 2016!

Untitled
In an apparent dig at senator Grace Poe, Vice President Binay says the country needs leaders with “experience and competence.” Which begs the question, “Why did you let Nancy run?

Papal Visit
Pope Francis is in the Philippines for a 5-day pastoral and state visit. Or as many Filipino Catholics call it, “Good Behavior Observance Week.”

Responding to Pope Francis’s message to Filipinos, Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle said, “Every Filipino wants to go with you.” And then there was a boisterous applause. Tagle continued, “Every Filipino wants to go with you, not to Rome, but to the peripheries.” And then there was silence. Everyone was like, “Ano raw?! Spell!”

In one of his homilies, the Pope said, “The devil is the father of lies.” He didn’t say though if it’s a congressman, a governor, a senator, a mayor, or a vice president. Basta, mag-ama.

1Bnay
Now it can be told. Security was very tight during the papal visit because there was indeed a threat to disrupt the event. Thankfully, authorities were able to neutralize… Carlos Celdran.

Filipinos learned a lot from the five-day pastoral visit of Pope Francis. They learned to be more disciplined, patient and forgiving. They also learned how to pronounce “nunciature.”

Statement Shirts
Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle urges Roman Catholics to wear a ‘Huwag Kang Magnakaw” shirt during the Visita Iglesia this coming Holy Week. Or to be more specific, wear a ‘Huwag Kang Mayor,’ ‘Huwag Kang Senador’ or ‘Huwag Kang Congressman’ shirt.

Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle urges Catholics to wear a ‘Huwag Kang Magnakaw’ shirt this Holy Week. Some politicians took offense and vowed to wear a ‘Huwag Kayong Tumanggap ng Donasyon Mula Sa Amin’ shirt.

Fake Priest
The CBCP is warning Catholics about the activities of a fake priest who scammed parishioners in Luzon and Metro Manila. The fake priest officiates masses and solicits money. As opposed to real priests who officiate masses and solicit money.

Ratings
President Aquino’s approval and trust ratings dropped to their lowest levels since he assumed office in 2010. His numbers have fallen. Worse, ER Ejercito is making a movie about it.

Uncle Peping
Former congressman Jose ‘Peping’ Cojuangco wants President Aquino to step down. He said, “I believe God’s hand is now moving in favor of major reforms this country needs.” When sought for comment on Cojuangco’s statement, God said, “Sino ‘yon?”

miss uMiss Universe
The 63rd edition of the Miss Universe pageant concludes Monday morning (Manila time) in Florida. Pre-pageant activities were held last week. In the talent portion, Miss China built an illegal structure on the stage.

Pia and Noy
Reports say President Aquino is dating newly-crowned Bb. Pilipinas Universe, Pia Wurtzbach. Why not? Pia is well-bred, the President is well-bred. Pia is single, the President is single. Pia is gorgeous, the President is single. Let’s give them a chance.

Slow
In terms of Internet speed, the Philippines ranks 21st out of 22 countries in Asia. Our Internet connection is so slow, the punchline of this joke is still loading.
——————————————————————————————————————————————
“I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.”
~Craig Ferguson

1GPTTSound Bites
“… a foundling found in the Philippines is presumed, in the absence of contrary proof, to have Filipino biological parents. Since Grace Poe was found near a church in Jaro, Iloilo, when she was only a few days old, her parents are presumed to be Filipinos. Therefore, she is a natural-born citizen.”
~Former Supreme Court Chief Justice Artemio Panganiban

Have a productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Jinggoy, Grace Poe, Toby Tiangco/Inquirer.Net; Pope Francis: Rappler]

Advertisements

Actions

Information

One response

16 06 2015
Federico Dalagan

Labing limang billion? Wow. Pag pinagdugtong-dugtong yong mga isang libong piso, makakaikot na ito ng ilang ikot sa planeta.Kaya pala kung kanikanino ibinibigay ang kontrata ng MRT, kabikabila ang pagtaas ng pagkain, pati mga PPP ay walang kawawaan kung kailan magagawa, at mga anomalyang hindi maipaliwanag.May nag-iipon ng pundo para magamit sa eleksiyon. Maaring gastahin upang tumaas ang ikunumiya at gawing issue na magaling sila. At malamang may grand kotong para sa mga bobobotante.

Like

Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: