REPORTS SAY thieves broke into the Quezon City home of Jinggoy Estrada before dawn Saturday.

REPORTS SAY thieves broke into the Quezon City home of Jinggoy Estrada before dawn Saturday. When arrested, one of the thieves said they were just “taking back what’s rightfully ours.”

Two men broke into detained senator Jinggoy Estrada’s home in Corinthian Hills, Quezon City. The detained senator was shocked and angered by the incident. And Filipino taxpayers were like, “Now you know the feeling.”

Before dawn Saturday, security personnel discovered thieves inside the Estrada home. Authorities believe it’s not the first time.

Eric Dalagan, a Surigao Del Norte native who was arrested for burglary has apologized to Jinggoy Estrada. The suspected thief then added, “Your turn, sir.”

Adopted, Too
When Binay spokesmen Toby Tiangco and JV Bautista raised the “foundling” and residency issues against Grace Poe, the attacks backfired big time. This prompted Vice President Binay to state that he would never mock the neophyte senator because he, too was adopted as a child. In fact, he said, he had a more difficult childhood than Grace. As a 9-year-old, Jojo Binay was tasked to collect ‘kaning-baboy’ for his uncle’s piggery. It also marked the first time the words “Binay” and “collect” were used together in a sentence.

The Binay camp earlier labeled Sen. Grace Poe as a “foundling.” To be fair, Grace has been keeping her cool and has consistently declined to comment on rumors that Toby Tiangco is a Targaryen.

Sen. Grace Poe is reportedly willing to undergo a DNA test. On condition that Toby Tiangco undergo a drug test.

Rejected Again
Vice President Binay reportedly asked Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada to run as his vice president in 2016. Combining their last names, Binay even came up with the portmanteau, BEst (Binay-ESTrada) to describe their tandem. But like Poe and Duterte, Erap said he’s not interested to be Binay’s running mate. Rumors say Jojo Binay is now courting Francis Escudero. In fact, he has come up with an even “sweeter” portmanteau: JoFran.

Researchers from a Swedish institute have created an online tool that calculates a person’s risk of dying in the next five years. Among those who were predicted to die in 5 years were people who answered “Yes” to the question, “Are you a small-time street criminal from Davao City?”

1LoiBirthday Mom
Former first lady Loi Ejercito celebrated her birthday last week. Some of the guests couldn’t believe she’s already 85. They thought she’s only in her 60s. To prove her real age, Doktora Loi agreed to submit to carbon dating.

It was a star-studded birthday bash for the 85-year-old former senator. The party’s theme was “the Pleistocene.”

Among the guests were Doktora Loi’s two childhood friends who brought with them their favorite pets: a pair of mastodons.

Former Makati City mayor Elenita Binay who attended the party was introduced by Erap as “the country’s next first lady.” It was just one of a dozen Erap jokes that night.
“We hang the petty thieves and elect the great ones to public office.”

Briefly Noted: The Early Birds
Politicians with advertisements or political ads that have recently aired on TV and radio. Kung may na-miss ako, please leave their name/s in the comment section. Thank you!

Vice President Binay
Sen. Bongbong Marcos
Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano
Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte
Valenzuela Rep. Sherwin Gatchalian
Former senator Ping Lacson
Manila Vice Mayor Isko Moreno
Sen. Serge Osmeña III
Leyte Rep. Ferdinand Martin Romualdez
Oriental Mindoro Rep. Reynaldo Umali
PAGIBIG Fund President and CEO Darlene Berberabe
Energy Sec. Jericho Petilla
DILG Sec. Mar Roxas
MMDA Chair Francis Tolentino
TESDA Dir. Gen. Joel Villanueva

A 30-second primetime TV ad costs no less than half a million pesos! You do the math.

Hello 2016!

Sound Bites
“Ang problema nito, I am old. Second, I don’t have the energy anymore. I do not have the money and I don’t want to ask.”
~Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte on why he’s not running for president

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Burglar: Erika Sauler/; Grace Poe: Rappler; Toby Tiangco: Inquirer.Net; Loi Ejercito/GMA News]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

4 thoughts on “THIEVES”

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