Top 5 Issues To Be Raised About or Against Grace Poe By UNA Interim President Toby Tiangco Soon

CITING RESIDENCY ISSUES, Binay spokesperson Toby Tiangco claims Sen. Grace Poe is not qualified to run for higher office. He showed a document that would allegedly prove this. The title of the document was ‘Panic Button.’

Of late, Vice President Binay’s spokespersons, Toby Tiangco and JV Bautista have been attacking Sen. Grace Poe. Observers lament, “Pati ba naman sa pag-atake, may dummy pa rin?”

On Wednesday, Vice President Binay denied having anything to do with Toby Tiangco’s exposé on Sen. Grace Poe. Defending UNA, Nancy Binay said Tiangco acted on his own. The Binays’ statements prompted the World Health Organization to declare June 2 as the new Global Handwashing Day.

Top 5 Issues To Be Raised About or Against Grace Poe By UNA Interim President Toby Tiangco Soon

No.5: Grace Poe and Chiz Escudero are secret lovers.

No. 4: Grace Poe has tiyanak roots.

No. 3: Grace Poe is a Lannister.

No. 2: Grace Poe and Nancy Binay are sisters; fraternal twins to be exact.

And the No. 1 issue to be raised about or against Grace Poe by UNA’s Toby Tiangco soon…
Grace Poe was born male. Her real name was Bruce Jenner Poe.

1OscarOidaMRT Woes
These days, thousands of MRT passengers have to wait longer in kilometric lines before they could get inside the train since only 7 MRT trains are operational. Originally, there were 60 trains. Last year, the number dropped to 20 then 14, and 9, and now, 7. Apparently, the target was to have zero operational trains. The government is on the right track. Congratulations!

Amid allegations of corruption, Sepp Blatter announced that he would resign as president of FIFA, football’s governing body. He made the surprising decision to step down after having a serious talk with his children Nancy, Junjun, and Abigail Blatter.

1VPCaitlyn Jenner
Olympic champion Bruce Jenner has completed his transition from man to woman. Here are some of the reactions to this hot item:
President Aquino: Buhay pa naman siya, ‘di ba? Hindi naman siya namatay.

E.R. Ejercito: Abangan po ninyo ang ang gagawin kong pelikula tungkol sa kanyang katapangan.

Grace Poe: ‘Yan naman ang mahalaga: ang pagiging tapat. ‘Tsaka, qualified naman siya.

Toby Tiangco: Kulang pa ng taon ang pagiging lalaki niya. Hindi siya dapat pinayagang maging babae.

JV Bautista: Dapat tapusin niya muna ang pagiging lalaki niya bago siya mag-ambisyong maging babae.

Vice President Binay: Wala akong kinalaman d’yan.

Tito Sotto: Ibalik sa closet!

Kris Aquino: Nakakaloka!

Biennial Sports Meet
The 28th edition of the Southeast Asian Games is being held in Singapore. In 2009, the country ranked 5th in the medal tally. In 2011, we finished 6th while in 2013, we placed 7th. In case you didn’t know, the goal of our government’s sports program is to put the country at the bottom of the medal standings. So far, so good.

1VPSan Andreas
The disaster film “San Andreas” is still showing in the Philippines. It tells the story of a public servant who abandoned his duty – after a magnitude 9.6 earthquake struck – to save his daughter and estranged wife using government resources.

A similar movie is in the works in the Philippines. In the project, a strong quake will also hit the country but public servants will not abandon their duty. They will choose to stay and continue misusing government resources.
“Desperation can make a person do surprising things.”
~Veronica Roth, Allegiant

Sound Bites
“Marami nga at may ilang kongresista diyan ang tinitirhan nilang bahay ay iba sa tinatakbuhan o kinakatawan nilang lugar. So sana maghunos-dili ‘ika nga at manalamin ang ilan sa mga nagsasalita.”
~Sen. Chiz Escudero to Binay spokesman Toby Tiangco who’s claiming that Grace Poe cannot run for a higher post due to residency issues

“Hindi ko po kinakailangang magtago sa likod ng isang tagapagsalita.”
~Sen. Grace Poe answering Toby Tiangco’s ‘exposé’

“We are running against ourselves.”
~Sen. Nancy Binay reacting to reports that UNA is afraid of Grace Poe

Have a great day!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Grace Poe: Rappler; Toby Tiangco: Inquirer.Net; MRT: Oscar Oida/GMA News]

Author: professionalheckler

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