PICK-UP LINES AND POLITICS

15 11 2014

Modern Pick-up Lines for Filipinos
Untitled

Sana si Antonio Tiu ka na lang?
Bakit?
I want you to own me.

Elevator ka ba sa Makati City Hall?
Bakit?
Bidder kasi ako. Gusto kong ma-trap inside you.

Untitled
Makati City Hall Parking Building ka ba?
Bakit?
Sobra-sobra ka kasing magmahal!

Si Nancy Binay ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi… lumalabas ang buwan at mga bituin kapag kasama kita.

Miss, alam mo bang para akong si Senator Trillanes?
Bakit?
Kasi… lagi akong ‘galit.’

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Si Lito Lapid ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi… you say it best when you say nothing at all.

Sana si BIR Commissioner Kim Henares ka na lang.
Bakit?
Para lagi kang nakabantay… ‘tapos hahabulin mo ako.

Sana sa MRT na lang tayo nakatira.
Bakit?
Para lagi tayong super close at halos ‘di na mapaghiwalay.

TT(Rated SPG)
Sana si Manny Pacquiao ka na lang.
Bakit?
Para patutumbahin mo ako, tapos magdi-dribble ka at magshu-shoot!

Sana EDSA ka na lang.
Bakit?
Para lagi kang masikip.
Boom!

And finally…
Usufruct

Sana si Vice President Binay ka na lang.
Bakit?
Ay, ‘wag na lang pala. Ayoko na.

Untitled
DESPITE RECENT tensions between China and the Philippines over disputed territories, President Aquino attended the APEC Summit in Beijing. The President says there’s no reason for him to skip the summit in the Chinese capital… unless it changes its name to ‘Tacloban.’

In Beijing, Russian president Vladimir Putin reportedly flirted with Chinese First Lady Peng Liyuan who was seated beside her husband. Putin just gave China a dose of its own medicine: disrespecting boundaries and occupying territories.

1APEC
Russian president Vladimir Putin reportedly flirted with Chinese First Lady Peng Liyuan by grabbing a coat and wrapping it around the First Lady’s shoulders. Before Putin did that, he whispered to President Aquino, “Watch and learn.”

“Open Sources”
Former Iloilo provincial administrator Manuel Mejorada who claimed that the P700-million Iloilo Convention Center was overpriced attended the Senate hearing last Thursday. When grilled by senators, Mejorada admitted that he had no evidence to back his allegation, and revealed that he got the information from “open sources” like Wikipedia, a free-access, free content, and free-to-edit online encyclopedia. Mejorada vowed to return to the Senate with proof. But first, he’ll do some research on BuzzFeed and 9gag.

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago who described Manuel Mejorada as “a big dud” said he could be held in contempt “for wasting the time of the Senate.” And Lito Lapid was like, “Harsh!”

Valuable
When asked to name the most valuable book to humanity, 37 percent of respondents in a recent survey answered, “The Bible.” The remaining 63 percent answered, “What’s a book?”
———————————————-
“People almost invariably arrive at their beliefs not on the basis of proof but on the basis of what they find attractive.”
~Blaise Pascal, De l’art de persuader

Sound Bites
“In the 2016 presidential elections, when I am rid of my lung cancer, I intend to claim the presidency I won in 1992.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago

Happy weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: GMA News: Tiu; Joseph Vidal/Senate: Mejorada; SpinPh: Pacquiao; YahooPH: Lito Lapid; PDI: Binay]

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3 responses

15 11 2014
ysobele

grabe nman sa pagmamahal ang makati city hall parking building hahahaha 😀

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17 11 2014
zra tha

Ako’y totoong humahanga sa wit at humour nitong si professional heckler lalo na pag inaatake nya ang pagkaganid ng mga mga politiko sa bansa. Parang minsan sa ganung paraan na lang tayo makakabawi sa kanila. May isa lang akong hindi maintindihan. Galit sya sa mga buwaya pero mukang ang pinakapaboritong nyang manlalaro sa baketaball ay ang pinaka-buwaya sa kasaysayan. Hindi lang pagdating sa mismong court. Hindi ko alam kung totoo ang mga naglalabasang balita, pero masyadong mataas ang ego ng player ng ito. Ibang level ang pagka-spoiled. Ibang klase ang tingin sa sarili. Pag mga ibangkaganapan, nagagawan mo agad ng humor at naii-relate sa mga issue ng bansa. Pero pag tungkol sa nasabing player kahit lagi siyang gumagawa ng ingay recently, on and off the court, nanatiling tikom ang bibig mo. Hindi ko alam kung pag naglalaro lang sya mo nagugustuhan. Pero kung siya bilang tao, mas nakakalungkot. Parang pinapatunayan mo na kahit gano kataas ang antas ng pag-iisip ng isang tao ay natatalo pa rin ng pagiging fanatic at parang nagiging bulag sa nangyayari. Parang politika lang dito sa ating bansa. Tingin ko kaya mong i-justify kung bakit ganun ang pananaw mo. Ika nga, there’s no limit to mind’s ability to rationalize. Pero somehow from psychological standpoint, kahit nakakagalit, mas naiintidihan ko kung bakit karamihan sa tao ay parang naive sa nangyayari sa paligid. Parang ganun tlaga nature ng tao. Kasi kung iyong katulad mo na parang mas makikita ang obvious dahil sa level ng pag-iisip ay natatalo pa rin ng paghanga sa mali(kung konsepto ng teamwork, humility, etc ang pag-uusapan), ano pa kaya iyong mga mas hindi malalim ang kaalaman. Iyan siguro ang isang magpapaliwanag ng mentality ng karamihan ng tao sa mundo. Nakakalungkot pero iyon ang totoo. Sabi nga nila it is what it is.

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25 11 2014
Khym D (@KhymDRamos)

why make this like a blind item comment? who’s this person?

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