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BINAY VS. TRILLANES: THE FLIPTOP BATTLE (EXCLUSIVE!)

11 11 2014

“Ako ho ang naghamon, wala hong atrasan ito kung ako ho ang tatanungin ninyo. Basta’t magkakaharapan po tayo.”
~Vice President Binay, October 29, 2014

BREAKING: Binay’s promise

On Tuesday at the Marines headquarters, Vice President Binay announced that he has decided to back out of his debate with Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV. After his speech, the birthday celebrator had lunch with Marine officials. There was one tense moment when Binay was served… chicken!

Untitled
Last October 29, Vice President Binay said, “Walang atrasan!” However, on Tuesday at the Philippine Marines headquarters, Binay announced that he was backing out. After his keynote speech, he was served lunch. But Binay didn’t touch his food. He’s already full. He has just eaten his words.

On his 72nd birthday, Vice President Binay announced that he has decided to withdraw from a scheduled debate. And Nancy Binay was like, “I taught him well.”

Usufruct
According to the World Happiness Report, the Philippines is the 8th happiest country in the world. And then Vice President Binay backed out of the debate, and people couldn’t stop laughing. We’re now ranked third.

Unconfirmed reports say the KBP has no plans of cancelling the event… mainly because Antonio Tiu has volunteered to debate on behalf of Vice President Binay.

The Debate: Fliptop Version
What if the debate between Binay and Trillanes pushed through in the form of a fliptop rap battle? Let’s try.

Yo! Oras na para simulan ang asaran.
Binay vs. Trillanes… wala nang atrasan.
When I say, hee-… you say pon.
Ooops, mali! I thought I was Ramon.

Wala sanang mapipikon sa aking mga hirit
Hindi ko naman gustong kayo ay magalit
‘Meron tayong free will,’ sabi nga ni Ms. Zenaida Seva.
Kung ‘di mo trip ang post na ‘to, makaaalis ka na!
Break it down.

Let’s start!

Trillanes:
Madlang pipoooooool… kumusta na kayo?
Sonny Trillanes po… isang hamak na sundalo
Galit sa magnanakaw, kalaban ng maligno
Ang masaktan, guilty; ang pikon ay talo!
Yo!

Binay:
Yo mong mukha mo!

Entrada mo pa lang, nami-mersonal ka na
Pati mga maligno, idinamay mo pa
Ok lang sana kung orig ang ‘yong tira
Pero ‘yang punchline mo, nakaw lang kay Korina!
Boom!

Trillanes:
Basta’t usapang ‘nakaw’ pamilyar kang tunay
Obvious na obvious ka naman, sanay na sanay
Kasi nga, 28 years na ‘yang pamilya mo sa puwesto
Hindi pa tuli ‘yang si Junjun, kumikita na kayo!
Basag!

Binay:
May panyo ka ba d’yan? Papunas naman sa ‘yo
Sayang ang chance kong ‘to, kaharap ko’y santo

Heto ang salamin, tingnan mo ang ‘yong repleksyon
(Pauses, Trillanes looks at himself in the mirror)

Natatandaan mo pa ba ang milyones mong gastos noon?
Ang sabi’y travel expenses habang ika’y nakakulong
Maling-mali si Ate Guy, may himala pa pala ngayon
Paano ka nakapag-travel? Nag-astral projection?
Wasak!

Trillanes:
Teka lang, teka lang, ba’t lumalayo ka
Tuesday pa lang ngayon, tumu-throwback Thursday ka na
Na-explain ko nang lahat ‘yan, ‘wag mo nang ipilit
Pag-usapan na lang kaya natin ang iyong naging kabit?

Binay:
Gago ka ah!
Masyado nang personal ang ‘yong banat at atake
Palibhasa wala kang alam kundi coup d’état at mutiny
Ano bang nangyari no’ng makipag-debate ka kay Enrile
‘Di ba’t nag-walk out ka at umiyak na parang baby?
Uha! Uha!

Trillanes:
Ulol!
‘Wag mo nang ilayo ang usapan sa tunay na isyu
Ikaw ang owner ng hacienda; ‘di kung sinu-sinong chu-Tiu!
That Instagram post of your daughter kinda helped seal your fate
Kung hindi talaga kayo guilty, ba’t kailangang i-deactivate!?
Yari!

Binay:
Shut up!
Taumbayan na ang huhusga at hindi kayong mga taga-Senado
Dakdak kayo nang dakdak, ba’t di kayo magsampa ng kaso?
Ay, oo nga pala, bagsak ang ratings n’yo ni Cayetano
Mas mataas pa nga nang ‘di hamak ang rating ng aming aso
Awooo!

Trillanes:
OA naman no’ng aso! Ano ‘yan, imported Labrador
World-class ba ang dog house ‘tapos may elevator?
Oooops, sorry… did I just hit a nerve?
Wala akong pakialam. That tirade was so deserved!

Binay:
Pakyu!

Trillanes:
Ha-ha-ha
Turo ba ‘yan ni Tiangco?

Binay:
Tama na! That’s enough. Good luck na lang sa 2016
‘Pag ako ang nanalo, saan ka kaya pupulutin?

Trillanes:
Matagal pa ‘yon tanda, marami pang pwedeng maganap
Dito nga lang sa debate, urong agad ang ‘yong bayag!

Binay:
Sitenta’y dos na ako, natural lang na umurong ‘yon. Tanga!
At least ‘di ako tulad ng iba d’yan na asa na lang sa Viagra!

Trillanes:
O sha, sha… tama na. Manahimik ka na!
Magbabasa muna ako ng comments sa social media.

Binay:
Walang sinabi ‘yang social media mo sa mga aktwal na botante sa probinsya
Konting paawa, konting drama… sa akin ang simpatya.

Trillanes:
Asa ka pa!

Binay:
Lalo ka na!

Trillanes:
Nognog!

Binay:
Alam ko.
Gago!

Trillanes:
Magnanakaw!

Binay:
Tarantado.
Asan ang pruweba mo?

Trillanes:
Maghintay ka lamang d’yan.
Marami pang malalaman ang taumbayan.

Binay:
Push mo ‘yan!

Trillanes:
Whatever.
Vice Ganda ikaw ba ‘yan?

Binay:
[Inantok. Napagod. Birthday pa naman. Hindi na sumagot.]

-End-

UsufructHeadlines
Vice President Binay has decided to back out of his scheduled debate with Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV. Here’s that piece of news according to newspaper headlines and Twitter accounts:
Philippine Daily Inquirer: Binay chickens out of debate

Philippine Star: Binay on debate: Ayoko na!

Manila Standard Today: Trillanes bullies Binay after veep backs out of debate

The Daily Tribune: Binay won’t stoop down to Trillanes’s level

The Manila Times: Binay made the right decision – political analyst

The Manila Bulletin: Binay’s birthday wish: good health and better life for Filipinos

@Rapplerdotcom: Binay withdraws from debate, gets flak from netizens

@GMANews: Binay umurong sa debate, ayaw pag-usapan ang “use of rock”

@ABS-CBNNews: Here’s why “#KathNielonGGV” and “#BinayFriedChicken” trended on Twitter

UntitledThe Debate
Hours before Vice President Binay backed out of the highly anticipated face-off, the KBP announced the four topics for the canceled Nov. 27 debate. In case you missed it:

No. 1: If crime does not pay, why are politicians very rich?

No. 2: Bakit walang senador, kongresista, governor o mayor ang umaangal o nagrereklamo kapag tinatawag silang buwaya?

No. 3: Have you stolen even a single centavo from Filipino taxpayers? If not, who are you kidding? Show proof.

No. 4: Kung ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan, ipaliwanag ang mga sumusunod na trending topics sa Twitter:
1Trends
————————————————————————————————
“He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of dispute.”
~Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human

Sound Bites
“Ang dahilan ko, mga kababayan, ay dahil marami na akong naririnig. Na siya ay ganito, ako ay mahusay, ako ay debater, ako ay abogado, eh sobra na ang mga salitang ganyan, na kumpirmadong sinabi niya. Eh ayoko naman pong ‘yong pagkakakila n’yo sa akin, mga kababayan, ay mapang-api, mapagsamantala. Na itong isang tao ito ay alam mo namang kawawa, tanga o whatever, pinagsamantalahan ko. So tama na yun. Ayoko na.”
~Vice President Binay

“”For the sake of the country, sana umatras na siya at itigil na ang panloloko sa taumbayan, at kung magtuloy-tuloy siya dahil alam niyang may kikitain siya sa pagka-presidente, sana makita ng mga kababayan natin ang tunay na pagkatao niya.”
~Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV

Poll Results
1BinaySurvey

Break it down. Yo!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Dennis Datu – Binay/Cake; Philippine Daily Inquirer]

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3 responses

12 11 2014
Roadie Fernandez

Reblogged this on Roadie Fernandez.

Like

13 11 2014
Alvin Udasco

enjoyed the debate: fliptop version! :)) (nagffliptop habang binabasa)

Like

28 11 2014
rebeloutlaw

awesome!!! feeling ko flip top battle ko talga haha..

Like

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