REVENGE

24 09 2014

1a
IN CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts, President Aquino called on critics to file cases against his allies, whom they believe to be corrupt. The President says they can take his men to court, just don’t take them back to UP campus.

In Newton, Massachusetts, President Aquino admitted that he thought of exacting revenge on then sitting president Ferdinand Marcos when his father Ninoy was murdered in 1983. “An eye for an eye,” he said. Good thing cooler heads prevailed or he would have put a bigger eye at risk.

Dumped
A high-ranking, pro-Russian politician in Ukraine was mobbed by angry protesters and thrown into a huge garbage can. He’s lucky he wasn’t hurt. Bu you know who’s luckier? Butch Abad.

Birthday Bong
Bong Revilla is celebrating his 48th birthday on September 25. Rumors say Camp Crame will be renovating his detention cell as a birthday gift. Bathroom fixtures will be made of stainless steal.

Sacked
Sandiganbayan Associate Justice Gregory Ong, whose ties with pork barrel queen Janet Lim-Napoles were exposed last year was ordered sacked by the Supreme Court. The high court also ordered the forfeiture of all of Ong’s retirement benefits. Which was nothing compared to his Napoles benefits.

1SPINBasketbrawl
Monday’s game between NCAA cellar dwellers Mapua Cardinals and EAC Generals at the San Juan Arena turned into a free-for-all brawl with players throwing punches at one another. The basketbrawlers only stopped when they realized nobody’s really watching the game.

NCAA Mancom chair Paul Supan reminded the players that “hooliganism has no place in an established league like the NCAA.” If they couldn’t help it, he advised them to go to UP.

A heated game between the Mapua Cardinals and EAC Generals turned into an all-out brawl Monday. There was yelling, punching, shoving and even, threats. What a shame! Who the hell do you think you are kids, Billy Crawford?

1CLText Lane
A city in China has a special sidewalk for people who love to text while they’re walking. In the Philippines, it’s called ‘everywhere.’

World War III
During a private meeting with a congregation of Jewish leaders, Pope Francis said World War III had begun. And then an aide reminded him that it was just an NCAA game he was watching live from Manila.

Pope Francis was quoted to have said that World War III had begun. I knew it! That’s exactly the reason why I want Facebook to junk its ‘Seen’ feature.

During a visit to Italy’s largest war memorial, Pope Francis was quoted to have said that World War III had begun. To prevent the escalation of conflict, he advised Catholics not to say anything negative against other people or anything that will offend KathNiel and Marian Rivera fans.

1RAPE‘Rape Shirt’
SM Department Store is getting flak for selling shirts printed with the offensive line, “It’s Not Rape. It’s A Snuggle With A Struggle.” SM Supermalls has since apologized and pulled out the ‘rape shirt’ from the boys’ section of its stores. SM mall managers are trying hard to identify the supplier, and trying even harder to learn the meaning of the word ‘snuggle.’

Sperm Donor
A Chinese man reportedly died after donating sperm four times in 10 days. Guys, now you know the limit: 3x in 10 days.

Productive
A recent study showed that the most productive people work for 52 minutes at a time, then break for 17 minutes before getting back to it. But they’ll definitely be more productive if they’ll stop using Facebook for hours.

1Lovebirds
In England, archeologists unearthed the skeletons of a couple who appear to have been buried together holding hands. They’ve been in that romantic position for 700 years. Kilig to the bones!
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“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
~Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Sound Bites
“As the only son, I felt an overwhelming urge to exact an eye for an eye. Mr. Marcos and his ilk were like rabid dogs who had lost all reason. There was no longer any potential for dialogue; the only solution when confronted by a rabid dog is to put it down.”
~President Aquino [Newton, Massachusetts 9.23.2014]

Poll Results
1POLL

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: GMA Network (Aquino), SPIN.Ph (NCAA), Reuters (Text Lane), Karen Kunawicz (SM), University of Leicester Archaeological Services, ]

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One response

24 09 2014
Morgan Dexter

im giving up on you.

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