DO YOU FOLLOW HBO’s Game of Thrones? It’s the best show on TV right now – insane, engaging, shocking, sometimes infuriating, intense, intriguing, controversial, and complicated. In short, Kris Aquino.

President Aquino’s State of the Nation Address is coming soon. It will be his first SONA since the pork barrel scam was exposed. I can’t wait to see all the senators, congressmen, their staff, and other high-profile personalities in one venue. Can we ask George R.R. Martin to write and direct this year’s SONA?

One of the most adorable GoT characters is Arya – the Stark girl who repeatedly recites the names of her enemies: “Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, The Hound, Polliver, The Mountain, Pogi, Tanda, Sexy, Joffrey, Cersei… “

Special Treatment
Intelligence reports say convicted drug lord Ricardo “Chacha” Camata was allowed to leave the New Bilibid Prison last May 28 to have a check up at a hospital in Manila sans DOJ approval. Hospital CCTV showed however that Camata looked fine, and even spent two nights with “a starlet and television dancers.” The report didn’t say though who went home the ha₱₱iest that day: the starlet, the dancers or the prison superintendent.

New Bilibid Prison superintendent Fajardo Lansangan and 12 custodial guards were relieved of their duties following reports that high-profile convicts were being given special treatment. Even ex-convict Antonio Leviste was like, “Paulit-ulit?! Naka-loop?”

Dismissed New Bilibid Prison superintendent Fajardo Lansangan is being replaced by Superintendent Robert Rabo – who was himself dismissed in 2011 after convicted killer Antonio Leviste was able to sneak out of prison and visit his dentist without a DOJ permit. Rabo will occupy the post effective June 4 until another prison scandal reaches the media.

Napoles’s Jewels
Another former staff of suspected pork barrel queen Janet Lim-Napoles surfaced and showed GMANews photos of Napoles’s collection of expensive jewelry. But one of Napoles’s lawyers, Stephen David denied the report, saying the pictures were made public to destroy the credibility of Napoles. Again, is there anything left to destroy?

1camOn Cam
In a sworn affidavit submitted to the Commission on Appointments, Sandra Cam alleged that Justice Sec. Leila De Lima had an illicit affair with Cezar Mancao II, and with her married driver, Ronnie Dayan. “If it’s true,” netizens complain, “Where is justice in that? We don’t even have one. Unfair!”

Sandra Cam revealed that Justice Sec. Leila De Lima had two illicit affairs. In case you’re wondering who Sandra Cam is, she’s the president of the Whistleblowers Association of the Philippines, and head researcher of ‘The Buzz.’

No to Pets
Pope Francis told married couples to have children instead of pets. The Pope said children are better than dogs or cats. In response, Freddie Aguilar said, “Hindi rin.”.

The Binays tend to believe that a smear campaign against the family has begun. The “black propaganda” is allegedly contained in a “white paper.” Awkward.

Abad and Aquino
Reports say President Aquino won’t fire Budget Secretary Butch Abad despite being linked by Janet Napoles to the pork barrel scam. Before he lets go of someone who’s being accused of wrongdoing, the President said, “I need to see the evidence.” To which, Al Vitangcol said, “Yeah right.”

1dCBCP vs. 1D
The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines appealed to parents not to let their children watch the concert of British boy group One Direction because they’re “not good role models.” Fr. Conegundo Garganta says concert producers should not promote “young people who are stoned.” One Direction replied, “Excuse me, we’re not young!”

Apparently, the CBCP is not into those boys. They’re too old for them.

Anti-drugs advocate Laban ng Pamilyang Pilipino wants British boy group One Direction to undergo a drug test before they are allowed to hold a concert in the Philippines. And One Direction was like, “You first.”

At least 12 cops in Western Visayas have been tested positive for drugs. Seven of the 12 cops were PO1; two were PO2, and two were PO3. All 12 were die-hard fans of One Direction.

Let’s go Lakers!
It’s the NBA Finals once again. It will be a rematch between the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat. When asked whom they would cheer for, my friends were divided: 50 percent picked the Spurs and 50 percent hated the Heat.

Finally… Some good news:
President Aquino has ordered an increase in the funeral benefits of both public and private employees under the Employees’ Compensation Program. You may avail yourself of this increased benefit starting today! Try it.
“Whether you sniff it, smoke it, eat it, or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
~William S. Burroughs

Sound Bites
“I will not spend my adult life answering obviously false charges. But I wille exert every effort to resist the charge that I lack sex appeal.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

The rainy season is coming. Be prepared.

[Photos: Game of Thrones; GMA News, The Daily Mail-UK]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler


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