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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

18 05 2014

HERE’S WHY according to prominent Filipinos:


President Aquino: Inabutan lang ho namin ang problemang ‘yan. Kung inyo hong matatandaan, wala pa kami sa puwesto nang tumawid ang manok na ‘yan. ‘Yong dating administrasyon ang dapat sumagot n’yan.

Janet Lim-Napoles: Malay ko. Hindi ko po alam.

Juan Ponce Enrile: I will answer that in the proper forum.

Sec. Sonny Coloma: Ewan ko nga ba kung bakit basta na lang tumawid ang manok na ‘yan. Pwede namang i-try ang other means of public transport like buses. Hindi naman siguro siksikan do’n.

Bong Revilla: Kaya nga hinahamon ko ang gobyernong ito eh. Ikulong n’yo ang manok na ‘yan. Ngayon na! Pagod na pagod na ‘yan sa katatawid sa kalsada.

Jinggoy Estrada: Political harassment ang ginawa sa manok kaya tumawid ito. Pati mga sisiw idinamay! Leave the chicks alone!

JV Ejercito: Ayoko nang patulan ang chicken. Lagi namang galit sa akin ‘yan eh. Sanay na ako.

Benhur Luy: May nag-utos po kasi sa manok kaya tumawid ito. Minsan papuntang Senate, minsan papuntang government offices.

Mar Roxas: ‘T@ng-in@! Kailan pa naging isyu ‘yang pagtawid na ‘yan? No comment! You must remember, I am a Roxas and that’s only a chicken.

Cristina Enrile: The chicken has an affair with the rooster on the other side. You know, these hens would always offer themselves to the rooster.

Gigi Reyes: So fault lang ng chicken? Dahil lalaki ang rooster, wala siyang kasalanan?

Vice President Binay: Ako ay bumabati at nagpupugay sa chicken sa kanyang matagumpay na pagtawid sa kalsada. Mabuhay ka!

Manny Pacquiao: ‘Pag pray na lang natin ang manok.

Lawyer Ferdinand Topacio : Isa lang ang natitiyak ko. Babalik din ang chicken na ‘yan. Kapag ‘di ‘yan bumalik, ipapaputol ko ang isa kong itlog.

Miriam Defensor-Santiago: Apparently, the chicken only wants attention. I have reason to believe that it’s a member of closet gay and bisexual fowls.

Panfilo Lacson: For the nth time, the chicken is not gay and it does not intend to be one.

Franklin Drilon: Inuulit ko, wala akong transaksyon sa manok na ‘yan. Ni isang itlog ay wala akong tinanggap kaya wala akong masasabi sa ginawa nitong pagtawid.

Anne Curtis: Why was the chicken outside the coop? Who let it out? It’s not even classy enough to cross that street.

Claudine Barretto: Nagpa-Botox.

Tourism Sec. Mon Jimenez: It’s more fun on the other side.

Venus Raj: Thank you so much sir for that wonderful question. Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Good evening Philippines! You know what sir, in the chicken’s 2 years of existence, I can say there is nothing major major, I mean problem that it has done in its life because it is very confident with its family and the love they are giving the chicken. So thank you so much that it successfully crossed the street. Thank you so so much!

Vice Ganda: Itinanong mo na ‘yan last year! Paulit-ulit?! Unli?!?

Viel Aquino-Dee:

Kris Aquino: On behalf of the chicken, humihingi po ako ng privacy. Ito na po ang huling pagkakataon na magsasalita ako tungkol sa pagtawid na ito. I promise not to talk about this again sa online posts ko man o sa interviews.

broad
ACCORDING to the files of Benhur Luy, several prominent media practitioners received cash gifts through conduits from Janet Lim-Napoles. Aside from Korina Sanchez, Mike Enriquez and Rey Pacheco, also mentioned was radio broadcaster Deo Macalma. Talk about “espesyal na balita.”

Janet Lim-Napoles, through her lawyer Bruce Rivera, apologized to JV Ejercito for including his name on the ‘Napoles list.’ When will she apologize to the Filipino people for stealing their money?

Fired
When CNN discovered that news reporter and editor Marie-Louise Gumuchian committed plagiarism, the network decided to fire her. Tito Sotto called the decision “harsh.”

DUI
The Anti-Drunk and Drugged Driving Act of 2013 will take effect on June 1. In totally unrelated news, Anne Curtis vows not to go to parties again.
—————————————————————-
“Denial: it’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a freaking ocean.”
~Dr. Meredith Grey, ‘Grey’s Anatomy’

Sound Bites
“I am astounded to learn that I was supposed to have received a birthday gift from her one time 10 years ago in 2004. This never happened. I did not receive any such gift, in cash or kind, from Ms Napoles or her company nor through emissaries then and up to now.”
~Korina Sanchez

“I vehemently and in the strongest of terms deny knowing Janet Napoles at all and just as strongly deny receiving any gift in whatever form from her.”
~Mike Enriquez

Have a productive week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: ABS-CBN, GMA News, Manila Broadcasting Corp.]

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One response

19 05 2014
jude martin (@judemartin19)

Happy Monday made me smile reading your latest blog but bitin.

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