Totally Baseless Information On or About Famous Filipinos
No. 1: Juan Ponce Enrile and Gigi Reyes have a 12-year-old daughter studying at Poveda.
No. 2: JV Ejercito can neither call nor send text messages to Jinggoy Estrada. He was blocked by Jinggoy in May 2010.
No. 3: Kris Aquino has a twin.
No. 4: Since the pork barrel scam broke out, 98 percent of lawmakers have opened bank accounts overseas under a false name.
No. 5: According to a recent poll, 8 in 10 Filipino teens have not read a newspaper in the last 12 months. Almost 5 in 10 replied, “What’s a newspaper?”
No. 6: In high school, Mar Roxas was sent to the guidance counselor’s office twice for cursing in class.
No. 7: Since 2007, education gets the lion’s share of Makati City’s annual budget. The rest is for sister cities and municipalities with the largest voting population.
No. 9: Among incumbent senators, Nancy Binay has the highest Flappy Bird score: 997.
No. 10: There is no such thing as a Napoles list. Neither Lacson nor De Lima has it. It’s just a political ploy. The list does not exist.
No. 11: Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz lost his virginity a day before he entered the seminary.
No. 12: Imelda Marcos has a 24-year-old boyfriend.
No. 13: At least one senator is confirmed gay.
No. 15: On a scale of Lito Lapid to Miriam Defensor-Santiago, the average Senate IQ is Cynthia Villar.
No. 16: Mommy Dionisia speaks six languages.
No. 17: Malacañang has postponed the release of a new bank note: a 2,000-peso bill that promotes the Filipino family. The bill features Kris Aquino, Josh, and Bimby on the reverse side.
No. 18: When he was in grade school, Cedric Lee would urinate in his pants every time a classmate would bully him. That classmate was Ferdinand Hipolito Navarro a.k.a. Vhong Navarro.
No. 19: Vicki Belo was born male.
No. 20: An internal survey revealed 10 out of 1 Liberal Party members believed Mar Roxas stood a chance at beating Jejomar Binay for president in 2016.
No. 21: Sonny Angara had a brief stint on German Moreno’s ‘That’s Entertainment.’ He was a member of the Wednesday group.
No. 23: According to Guinness World Records, ER Ejercito is the most visible politician on Earth. His poreless face is seen on at least 200 billboards, 3,000 mugs, 700 tarpaulins, 10,000 shirts, 25,500 bags and 150 official government vehicles in Laguna and other parts of the country.
No. 24: Manny Pacquiao plans to enroll at ADMU. He looks forward to playing for the Ateneo Blue Eagles in the next season of UAAP basketball.
No. 25: In his Times Street home, President Aquino has a Spongebob-themed bedroom.
No. 26: A recent study has shown that regular viewers of Pinoy Big Brother are self-absorbed individuals who are likely to remain single forever.
No. 27: A popular local official and the very much married daughter of an even more popular official were in a relationship.
No. 29: Anne Curtis has purchased Privé Luxury Club for an undisclosed amount.
No. 30: Lito Lapid is still a senator.
“Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.”
“At this point, who stands to gain most from the publication of a long list of pork barrel scammers? Certainly not the justice system… Definitely, the ones who stand to gain the most are the big fish who have been breathing laboriously because their gills are wedged in the law’s net.”
~Prof. Randy David, The Napoles List
Have a fun weekend!
[Photos: Philippine Daily Inquirer, Rappler]