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PLUNDER, ANNE CURTIS, JELLYFISH AND OTHER STORIES

4 04 2014

IT’S ALMOST Holy Week. What have you given up for Lent? Smoking? Meat? Partying? That’s nothing compared to what Tanda, Pogi and Sexy are about to give up: freedom.

1plunder
For the first time in history, (three) senators have been indicted for plunder which is punishable by reclusion perpetua or life. And Senator Enrile was like, “Too late for that!”

Last Tuesday, the Office of the Ombudsman announced that it found probable cause to file plunder and graft charges against three senators, Janet Lim-Napoles, and their cohorts. According to the Ombudsman, Senator Enrile allegedly plundered P172 million; Jinggoy, P183 million, and Revilla, P242 million. To be fair to Bong, he’s a consistent topgrosser.

3Holy Land
Bong Revilla left for Jerusalem last week to pray. Last Tuesday, God gave an answer: No.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported that Bong Revilla met with Ping Lacson last year and asked how the once-fugitive ex-senator evaded arrest during the Arroyo administration. As expected, Revilla denied the report. Besides, if he wanted to evade arrest, he wouldn’t consult Lacson. He’ll consult his sister, Ramona Bautista (Revilla).

Interviewed on dzMM, Bong Revilla insisted, “Wala akong kasalanan. Sa mga gumagawa nito sa akin, bahala na si Lord sa inyo.” In response, the Lord said, “Thou shall not namedrop.”

1napHospital Arrest-ish
Suspected pork barrel queen Janet Lim-Napoles is now confined at the Ospital ng Makati. The period of confinement as approved by the judge covers “pre-operative, intra-operative, and post operative procedures.” In layman’s terms, “para-paraan.”

While confined at the Ospital ng Makati or OsMak, Napoles will be treated by at least six doctors plus an anaesthesiologist from the posh St. Luke’s Medical Center. The doctors will be transported to OsMak by shuttle service marked, ‘This is where your taxes go.’

On Thursday, April 3, the Manila RTC issued a freeze order on Janet Lim-Napoles’s and her family’s assets including real properties and bank accounts. In other news, doctors from St. Luke’s Medical Center have denied reports they’ll be treating Napoles.

1capBerated
Last Monday, President Aquino slammed the cop who arrested fugitive land developer Delfin Lee for talking to the media about his recent sacking and reassignment. President Aquino described Senior Supt. Conrad Capa’s behavior as a “disservice” to the PNP. Delfin Lee described President Aquino as his idol.

Kris and Herbert
Presidential sister Kris Aquino and Quezon City Mayor Herbert Bautista are reportedly “dating.” The date is ‘2016.’

Match
Columnist Ramon Tulfo says only Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte can BEAT Vice President Jejomar Binay. He forgot Cedric Lee and friends.

1capAnne Curtis… Take 2!
It happened after midnight Tuesday at the birthday party of Vice Ganda. Reports say a drunk Anne Curtis shouted at young actor Sam Concepcion, “Why are you here? Who invited you? You are not classy enough to be here!” Sought for reaction, Concepcion said he’s still lucky Curtis didn’t threaten to buy him.

Moral of the story. Don’t drink and Anne.

ABS-CBN News reported that Anne Curtis got stung by a jellyfish Wednesday night. An investigation revealed that the jellyfish was a huge fan of Sam Concepcion.

A day after it was reported that a drunk Anne Curtis humiliated Sam Concepcion in a party, the Dyesebel star was stung by a jellyfish. ABS-CBN posted photos of Anne in a hospital bed. This morning, the jellyfish issued a statement denying participation in damage control.

Anne Curtis was reportedly stung by a jellyfish. The TV host/actress is now ok but the jellyfish has died of alcohol poisoning.
———————————————————————————————–
“The law of karma is the principle of cosmic justice that holds that all good actions will be rewarded and that all wicked actions will be punished. Sometime. Somehow. Somewhere.”
~Chanju Mun, Buddhism and Peace

Sound Bites
“The Filipino taxpayers deserve a break from the hubris and arrogance of many lawmakers and other executive officials who thought all along that callousness as a way of life will remain unchecked as long they are in a position of power.”
~Former Senator Panfilo Lacson

“You can’t set an example if you will baby your colleagues. It should be heavy because they did not explain the use of those huge funds reaching ghost beneficiaries. How can they explain they did not guard this?”
~ Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano

Poll Results
Ano ang reaksyon mo sa balitang sina Kris Aquino at Herbert Bautista na raw?

I DON’T CARE! 53.67%
Nangangamoy 2016 ang tema ng pag-ibig na ‘yan. 25.87%
Ok lang. Kung saan sila masaya, bahala sila. 10.42%
Bakit si Herbert? Sana iba na lang. 10.04%

Jail to the thief!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Thank you ANC, Philippine Daily Inquirer, Rappler, ABS-CBN News, YahooPh/CosmoPh]

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7 04 2014
OF ROBBERS AND LOVERS | The Professional Heckler

[…] BF Anne Curtis’s boyfriend, Erwan Heussaff lashed back at netizens who have been posting “jellyfish jokes.” Erwan called them “idiots” and “judgmental asses.” What a supportive bf! Anne must be so […]

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