OF PICK-UP LINES AND POWER TRIP

19 12 2013

Modern Pick-up Lines for Filipinos

ducutmeralco
Sana Meralco ka na lang.
Para sobra-sobra ka ring magmahal.

Sana ERC ka na lang.
Para oo ka lang nang oo.

Untitled2a
Skyway ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi… nahuhulog na ang loob ko sa ‘yo!

Sandali lang. Hindi pa kita kilala ah. Don Mariano Transit ka ba?
Bakit?
Ang bilis mo kasi!

121
Sana si President Aquino ka na lang.
Para magaling kang magpaputok.

Sana si Vice President Binay ka na lang.
Para you’ll put a label on our relationship.

1
Si Janet Lim-Napoles ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi… ninakaw mo ang puso ko!

Sana si Mar Roxas ka na lang.
Para kahit anong mangyari, lagi kang nando’n.

Sana si BIR Commissioner Kim Henares ka na lang.
Para lagi mo akong hahabulin.

DJ-Enrile
GIRL: Sweetheart, sana si Miriam Defensor-Santiago ka na lang.
BOY: Bakit naman babe?
GIRL: Para lagi kang galit.

BOY: Ikaw naman babe, para kang si Juan Ponce Enrile tuwing may session.
GIRL: Bakit?
BOY: Kasi, lagi mo akong pinaglalaruan.

Si Grace Poe ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi… you’re my No. 1!

Sana si Manny Villar ka na lang.
Para maging real property mo ako.

GIRL: Hon, sana si Budget Sec. Butch Abad ka na lang.
BOY: Bakit?
GIRL: Para release ka lang nang release.

leviste-pdi
Si dating Batangas governor Antonio Leviste ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi… you have a killer smile.

Sana weather forecaster ka na lang.
Para may PAGASA ako sa ‘yo.

Si Anne Curtis ka ba?
Bakit?
(‘Wag na lang. Baka masampal mo pa ako.)

Untitled
Trending Topic: Mayor Binay
Prevented by Dasmariñas Village guards from passing through a restricted gate, Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay, according to an Inquirer report, said, “Hindi n’yo ba ako nakikilala?” To be fair to the guards, it was really dark that night.

The guards who stopped the convoy of Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay and Sen. Nancy Binay were taken to the Makati City Police headquarters where they were detained for four hours. Asked how they felt during the “ordeal,” the guards replied, “2016.”

According to Binay spokesman Joey Salgado, the issue had been settled, and, the guards have “apologized profusely for the incident.” Or as the security agency would say, ‘No choice.’

When his convoy was stopped by Dasmariñas Village guards, Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay allegedly said, “Hindi n’yo ba ako nakikilala?” That’s according to the Inquirer source. But according to Phoemela Barranda, Binay didn’t say those words.

Sana si Makati Mayor Binay ka na lang.
Para kahit bawal, pasok pa rin si Junjun!

Ducut
In a Senate hearing last Wednesday, Energy Regulatory Commission Chair Zenaida Ducut (who approved the huge 4.16 per kilowatt hour Meralco rate hike) told senators, “Ang ERC po ay nakikiisa sa damdamin ng taumbayan.” And the taumbayan were like, “May damdamin pa kayo ng lagay na ‘yan?”

UntitledTop Searches
According to Google, the most searched Filipino celebrities in 2013 were: (1) Neri Naig (2) EB Babe Yosh (3) Wally Bayola (4) Ariella Arida and (5) Chito Miranda. I didn’t know Ariella Arida had a sex video.
—————————————————————————-
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
~Abraham Lincoln

Sound Bites
“Nasasabi doon, ‘Talagang napakaraming maganda sa Pilipinas. Natuwa naman ako doon. Tapos ‘yung dagdag niya, ‘Kaya ikaw PNoy, wala ka nang dahilan. Sabi ko may kasalanan pa pala ako dito. Okay lang naman, mag-heckle ka na kung gusto mo basta tuloy lang kaming magtatrabaho po rito.”
~ President Aquino reacting to my tweet last Tuesday night

Ngek.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Philippine Daily Inquirer, DJ Sta. Ana, Manila Bulletin Last.fm, ERC, Meralco, GlobalBalita)

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4 responses

19 12 2013
Paulo M.B.

Reblogged this on desOlation rOw and commented:
Cue: ‘The Power’ by Snap

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19 12 2013
Shermel (@Shermel)

On Soundbites: #facepalm

Like

20 12 2013
Romdel Bellosillo (@romdel94)

ikaw na PH! ang mag react ang presidente sa isang tweet ibig sabihin meron ka “say” kesa ke Jun-jun Binay

Like

20 12 2013

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