Modern Pick-up Lines for Filipinos
Sana ERC ka na lang.
Para oo ka lang nang oo.
Sandali lang. Hindi pa kita kilala ah. Don Mariano Transit ka ba?
Ang bilis mo kasi!
Sana si Vice President Binay ka na lang.
Para you’ll put a label on our relationship.
Sana si Mar Roxas ka na lang.
Para kahit anong mangyari, lagi kang nando’n.
Sana si BIR Commissioner Kim Henares ka na lang.
Para lagi mo akong hahabulin.
BOY: Ikaw naman babe, para kang si Juan Ponce Enrile tuwing may session.
BOY: Kasi, lagi mo akong pinaglalaruan.
Si Grace Poe ka ba?
Kasi… you’re my No. 1!
Sana si Manny Villar ka na lang.
Para maging real property mo ako.
GIRL: Hon, sana si Budget Sec. Butch Abad ka na lang.
GIRL: Para release ka lang nang release.
Sana weather forecaster ka na lang.
Para may PAGASA ako sa ‘yo.
Si Anne Curtis ka ba?
(‘Wag na lang. Baka masampal mo pa ako.)
Trending Topic: Mayor Binay
Prevented by Dasmariñas Village guards from passing through a restricted gate, Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay, according to an Inquirer report, said, “Hindi n’yo ba ako nakikilala?” To be fair to the guards, it was really dark that night.
The guards who stopped the convoy of Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay and Sen. Nancy Binay were taken to the Makati City Police headquarters where they were detained for four hours. Asked how they felt during the “ordeal,” the guards replied, “2016.”
According to Binay spokesman Joey Salgado, the issue had been settled, and, the guards have “apologized profusely for the incident.” Or as the security agency would say, ‘No choice.’
When his convoy was stopped by Dasmariñas Village guards, Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay allegedly said, “Hindi n’yo ba ako nakikilala?” That’s according to the Inquirer source. But according to Phoemela Barranda, Binay didn’t say those words.
Sana si Makati Mayor Binay ka na lang.
Para kahit bawal, pasok pa rin si Junjun!
In a Senate hearing last Wednesday, Energy Regulatory Commission Chair Zenaida Ducut (who approved the huge 4.16 per kilowatt hour Meralco rate hike) told senators, “Ang ERC po ay nakikiisa sa damdamin ng taumbayan.” And the taumbayan were like, “May damdamin pa kayo ng lagay na ‘yan?”
According to Google, the most searched Filipino celebrities in 2013 were: (1) Neri Naig (2) EB Babe Yosh (3) Wally Bayola (4) Ariella Arida and (5) Chito Miranda. I didn’t know Ariella Arida had a sex video.
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
“Nasasabi doon, ‘Talagang napakaraming maganda sa Pilipinas. Natuwa naman ako doon. Tapos ‘yung dagdag niya, ‘Kaya ikaw PNoy, wala ka nang dahilan. Sabi ko may kasalanan pa pala ako dito. Okay lang naman, mag-heckle ka na kung gusto mo basta tuloy lang kaming magtatrabaho po rito.”
~ President Aquino reacting to my tweet last Tuesday night
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.
[Photos: Philippine Daily Inquirer, DJ Sta. Ana, Manila Bulletin Last.fm, ERC, Meralco, GlobalBalita)