A WEEK AFTER Senator Juan Ponce Enrile exposed Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago’s “psychiatric” report, the lady lawmaker made public Senator Enrile’s criminal record.

In a privilege speech, Senator Santiago said Juan Ponce Enrile was a smuggler, a tax evader, a plunderer, a human rights violator, and a historical revisionist. The entire speech was disappointing! She didn’t tell us anything we didn’t know.

While Senator Santiago was attacking Senator Enrile, the old man was playing Bejeweled. Ibang level ka Tanda!

Reacting to Senator Santiago’s allegation that he’s a “psychopathic hypersexualized serial womanizer,” Senator Enrile said, “Siya mismo ang nagsabing ako ay maasim kaya kung may napilantikan sa aking asim, siguro naman ay dahil mayroon pa naman akong magandang tindig.” Gigi Reyes said, “I know, right?”

Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile said, “Si [Miriam] mismo ang nagsabing ako ay maasim kaya kung may napilantikan sa aking asim, siguro naman ay dahil mayroon pa naman akong magandang tindig.” Apparently, Enrile has a love life; he’s almost 90 years old. What’s your excuse?

According to Senator Santiago, Enrile owns a 441-hectare free port which operates recreational facilities like horse-racing, dog racing, gambling casinos, and golf courses. And Anne Curtis was like, “I’d like to buy that!”

Senator Santiago used words and phrases like “integrity of a hyena,” “hypersexualized,” “rancid genes,” “broken chromosomes,” “asinine,” “oxymoron,” and “non-sequitur.” During Santiago’s speech, Senator Enrile was seen holding a tablet. Jinggoy Estrada was seen holding a glass of water, and Bong Revilla was seen holding a dictionary.

Accused of pocketing almost 2 million pesos in pork barrel funds, former congressman Ruffy Biazon resigned as customs chief. Liberal partymates of Biazon say the embattled ex-solon quit his post out of delicadeza. Again, delicadeza – or as Pogi, Tanda, and Sexy would say, “What’s that?”

Family Day
Over the weekend, the Pacquiao family went to a nearby mall to watch a movie. But the People’s Champ got upset and decided to just go home when he learned that the only film being screened was “Frozen.”

The 16-year-old wife of Freddie Aguilar vowed to be the folk singer’s “last.” The girl optimistically talks about their future. I just hope Ka Freddie makes it there.

Facebook has unveiled its latest feature that allows users to block content they don’t want to see from their friends. Facebook called this new feature the UNFOLLOW button. To which Twitter said, “Hashtag #Sinotto!”

Magazine publisher JR Isaac told the Philippine Entertainment Portal that a miffed (and possibly, drunk or whatever) Anne Curtis slapped some celebrities at the Privé Luxury Club recently. During the incident, Anne reportedly told model Phoemela Barranda, “’I can buy you, your friends, and this club!” The other day, Barranda denied that Curtis uttered those words. Bought.

Odd Job
Pope Francis revealed that he once worked as a club bouncer in Buenos Aires.  Where was Pope Francis when Privé needed him most?
“We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them.”
~ George Orwell, 1984

Sound Bites
“He was a foul caricature of himself, a man with no soul, no inner convictions, with the integrity of a hyena and the style of a poison toad.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

“Hindi ako pumasok ng gobyerno para mandugas or to use government resources to make my life easy and comfortable.”
~COA Chair Grace Pulido-Tan

Drink moderately!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[PHOTOS: ANC, DJ Sta. Ana, RuffyBiazon.Com, PinoyExchange]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

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