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MELTDOWN

6 11 2013

1K
SENATOR Serge Osmeña has proposed to reset Janet Lim-Napoles’s Senate appearance from Nov. 7 to Nov. 18. Apparently, the welcome banners are not yet ready.

On Thursday, Nov. 7, Janet Lim-Napoles will appear before the Senate Blue Ribbon Committee. Here are 12 suggested Napoles opening statements that were rejected by her lawyers.

No. 12: “Your honors, isang karangalan po ang maimbitahan at maging bisita n’yo… for a change! Lagi na lang kasing ako ang nag-i-invite sa inyo eh!”

No. 11: “Kailangan ba talagang under oath?”

No. 10: “Ang hindi makatingin nang diretso akin… guilty!”

No. 9: “Nakikiusap ho ako sa mga TV crew. Pwede bang huwag n’yo na akong i-close-up. Haggard po ako ngayon eh.”

No. 8: “Teka, parang familiar ‘yong senador sa bandang kanan. Uy! Siiiiir! ‘Di ba ikaw ang binigyan ko ng 10 million noong kampanya? Tumataba ka ah!”

No. 7: “Baka po ‘di na ‘to maulit. Picture! Picture! po muna tayo. Ok lang? Dikit-dikit po tayo. Dikit-dikit. ‘Yan, perfect! Ready?? One two three – Look up! Look up!”

No. 6: “Sa mga magtatanong, mananabon, at manggigisa sa akin… carefuuul! Isip-isip din ‘pag may time!”

1NAPOLES
No. 5: “At least five senators na nasa kuwartong ito ngayon ay nakinabang sa aking raket. Sila ay sina…”

No. 4: “Pwedeng mag-greet? Alam kong naka-monitor ngayon sa America si Pareng Jinggoy. Miss you na friend!”

No. 3: “Hola! I’m Janet Lim-Napoles, 49, Philippines! Ako po ay naniniwala sa kasabihang, ‘Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa taxpayers ang gawa, nasa ating lahat ang biyaya!’ I thank you!”

No. 2: “Bago po ako magsimula, gusto ko lang mag-message kay Arnold Clavio. Hoy bilog! Panira ka ng araw! Tatawa-tawa ka pa! Tse!”

And the No. 1 rejected opening statement of Janet Napoles…
“Pagkatapos po ng hearing, wala munang uuwi. May raffle. Mamimigay ako ng NGO!”

Road Rage
Lawyer King George Leandro Collantes, son and chief of staff of Batangas Rep. Sonny Collantes was caught on video badmouthing and repeatedly punching an elderly jeepney driver during a traffic altercation in Pasig City last Oct 29. After the incident, King George Leandro Collantes immediately changed his name to King of the Road Collantes.

A congressman’s son and chief of staff was caught on video repeatedly punching an elderly jeepney driver in Pasig City. The congressman’s son was identified as King George Leandro Collantes, a lawyer with a very long name and a very short temper.

Overseas…
Here’s something odd: A crocodile was found under an escalator at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport the other day. In totally unrelated news, Jinggoy Estrada is in the US right now. #WalaLang

imageArgh! Argh!
Arnold Clavio got flak for his “rude” treatment of his interviewee, lawyer Alfredo Villamor, Janet Napolese’s counsel on GMA7’s morning show ‘Unang Hirit.’ Clavio had been previously criticized for his comment on the foreign-born Azkals. This latest development has prompted the broadcaster to change his standard extro to, “Mga Igan, ako NA naman, Arnold Clavio!”

That’s strike 2 for broadcaster Arnold Clavio. The next one could be his ‘huling hirit.’
———————————————————
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
~Mark Twain

Sound Bites
“Pansira ka ng araw… tatawa-tawa ka pa! Sana pala hindi na namin kayo tinawagan. Wala akong nakuha sa inyo!”
~Arnold Clavio to Janet Napoles’s lawyer Alfredo Villamor in an apparent morning meltdown

There’s a supertyphoon coming. Stay safe.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Philippine Daily Inquirer, GMA News]

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One response

7 11 2013
Khym D (@KhymDRamos)

that was really low-down unprofessional act. I’ve always wonder if he ever had his eyebrow tattooed or run an eyebrow pencil. What brand does he use? I use Rimmel used to be Revlon. ;))

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