LAWYER LORNA KAPUNAN has quit as Janet Lim-Napoles’s legal counselin the serious illegal detention case filed by Benhur Luy. A confident Na₱ole$ ha$ ex₱re$$ed ho₱e$ of re₱lacing Ka₱unan a$ $oon as ₱o$$ible.

Lorna Kapunan has resigned as Janet Lim-Napoles’s counsel citing “differences” – e.g. Kapunan is sexually active, Napoles isn’t.

Nut Case?
Lorna Kapunan says her (ex)-client, Janet Lim-Napoles has been “talking to herself” lately. Unfortunately, she’s not getting any response.

Lorna Kapunan claims Janet Lim-Napoles, “prays 5,000 rosaries everyday.” So far, God has ignored her 5,000 times.

According to Lorna Kapunan, “(Janet Napoles) prays the rosary 5,000 times everyday and reads the Holy Bible backward and forward.” Friends say that’s faith. No, that’s insanity defense.

Barangay Elections
An outgoing village chief who ran but lost for councilor in Pontevedra, Capiz killed his two sisters, and his brother who just won as barangay chairman. The suspect who fled after the shooting says he plans to surrender in Malacañang because President Aquino is the only person he trusts.

Manuel Arcenas, an outgoing barangay captain in Pontevedra, Capiz who lost in the last barangay elections fled after killing three people. He is now a fugitive, and a potential candidate for senator.

untitled Middle Class
Citing a study, President Aquino says 80 percent of the population will belong to the middle class by 2030. And then he woke up.

In China, a frustrated Chinese man cuts off his penis because he’s tired of being single. Quick! Somebody please check on President Aquino!

Great Wall
A 10-ft high, 3-km wall was formed in Barangay Anonang, Inabanga, Bohol after the 7.2 magnitude quake. Provincial officials call it “The Great Wall of Bohol” – prompting China to claim it as theirs.

Fr. Francis Lucas of the CBCP says Filipinos should stop wearing scary Halloween costumes. Filipinos say the CBCP should stop being KJ.

Fr. Francis Lucas says, “How can you talk to God if the dress you are wearing makes you look like a devil.” And God was like, “Kung maka-namedrop naman ‘to!”
“Any society that produces twice as many lawyers as it does poets and preachers is doomed.”
~John Fogarty

Sound Bites
“Dahil sa kanyang katakawan sa publicity, sa kanyang ambisyong pulitikal, at sa kanyang hangaring magpasikat, binabalewala niya ang batas.”
~Bong Revilla blasting the DOJ’s move to cancel his passport

“Katawa-tawa siguro sa kanila pero katawa-tawa kaya iyan sa milyun-milyong tao nating naghihirap dahil sa pandarambong ng mga public respondents?”
~Justice Sec. Leila De Lima reacting to Revilla’s statement

Happy Halloween!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Author: professionalheckler

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