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SEXUALLY ACTIVE

23 09 2013


GUESTING on a comedy show, lawyer Lorna Kapunan reveals she has a love life, and she’s sexually-active. Thousands of sexless viewers heaved a sigh of relief. There’s still hope. THERE’S STILL HOPE!

Gigi
In a purported Facebook post, lawyer Jessica Lucila ‘Gigi’ Reyes claimed that the camp of her former boss, Juan Ponce Enrile betrayed her. But analysts say this “Gigi felt betrayed by JPE” moment is on page 4 of a 50-page unpublished zarzuela script.

Lawyer Gigi Reyes felt betrayed by Juan Ponce Enrile. To which Cristina Ponce Enrile said, “Ako rin!”

HERE are excerpts from Gigi Reyes’ Facebook ‘rant’ (Via ABS-CBNNews.Com).
(At ang hindi awtorisadong salin nito sa Filipino).

“I left the country last August 31 to seek some peace and quiet.”
(Akala ko makakalusot. Syet!)

“Some elements from the media have attempted to get to our residence pretending to be my relatives.”
(Mga dugyot! Makikinis kami! Alam ng mga guwardiya namin ang kamag-anak o hindi!)

“The Philippine Daily Inquirer, in particular, has been especially cruel.”
(Tama ang desisyon kong mag-subscribe na lang sa Daily Tribune!)

“It is apparent that the PDI and several other media outlets have trained their focus on me.”
(Hindi ko kasalanang maging maganda at powerful! May asim pa naman ako. In fairness to me.)

Jan 27 - Gigi Reyes-Inquirer
“In fact, in just one newscast, ABS-CBN flashed my photograph four times.”
(Sana man lang nagpasintabi. Chubby pa naman ako sa picture. Mga bastos!)

“True enough, THE WORST BLOW HAS JUST BEEN DEALT UPON ME BY NO LESS THAN THE CAMP OF SENATOR JUAN PONCE ENRILE- THE MAN I SERVED WITH FULL DEDICATION, HONESTY AND LOYALTY FOR 25 YEARS.”
(‘Sensya na boss. Hindi ko masabi ang word na “love.” Hurt ako nang slight eh. Iti-text ko na lang.)

“A certain Atty. Enrique dela Cruz has been doing the media rounds saying that Senator Enrile did not give his blessings to any of the acts I performed on his behalf. He directly accused me of doing things without the Senator’s knowledge.”
(Tanga lang ang peg ng abogadong ‘to. Gusto niya kaming pag-awayin ni boss. Hellllllow! 25 years is 25 years!)

“IF INDEED THESE STATEMENTS ARE SANCTIONED BY OR COMING FROM MY FORMER BOSS, THEN NOTHING CAN BE WORSE THAN THIS KIND OF TRAVESTY AND BETRAYAL.”
(Pero sure akong ‘di niya magagawa ‘yon. Sure na sure na sure. Ayaw ko nang magbigay ng detalye. Basta. Sa ‘ming dalawa na lang ‘yon.)

“I have earned the bitter ire and enmity of some people by and large because and in defense of Senator Juan Ponce Enrile.”
(To quote Ate Guy in ‘The Flor Contemplacion Story,’ “I did not kill… anybody!” Ngunit kung kasalanan man ang magmahal – humihingi ako ng tawad.)

“I have lost contact with Senator Enrile…
(Chos!)

“The last time I spoke to the Senator from abroad… he even told me to be strong.”
(*Kilig*)

“… that we will fight together.”
(Awww! Sweet!)

“I never once thought that this day would come.”
(Gaga ka kasi Janet! Gaga ka!)

“I have every intention to defend myself…”
(Mapera ako! May pambayad ako ng abogado. Tse!)

“I have faith in GOD and my fate rests solely in His Hands and in His Divine Mercy.”
(In fairneeeeeeeess, religious na ulit ako. Pak!)
——

UPDATE: Senate Minority Leader Juan Ponce Enrile on Monday insisted he did NOT betray his former Chief of Staff Gigi Reyes. When Gigi Reyes heard this, she changed her Facebook status from “It’s Complicated” to “In A Relationship.”

1KIN OTHER News…
On Monday, Sept. 23, Janet Lim-Napoles was arraigned at the Makati City RTC. Napoles entered a plea of “not sexually active.”

Seasons
In the metro and in Luzon, the past few days have been wet. Lorna Kapunan can relate.

Due to the autumnal equinox which signals change in seasons, nights will be longer starting Tuesday, Sept. 24. Again, nights will be longer. And Lorna Kapunan was like, “I luvettt!”

Stolen Shots
Mark Joseph Tajo Solis, a graduate student from UP is in hot water these days. A multiple photo contest winner, it turned out that his winning entries were stolen. This kid has a bright future in politics.

Reports say Mark Joseph Solis stole someone else’s work five times. His family was embarrassed. His friends were shocked. Tito Sotto felt proud.

1BL
On his LinkedIn Profile, Mark Solis says he works as a Legislative Officer at Sen. Pia Cayetano’s office. On Twitter though, the senator immediately clarified that Solis was no longer connected with her office. She also denied telling Mark “to be strong” and “we will fight together.”

Saying it was a “lapse in judgment,” Mark Joseph Solis, admitted his mistake and said sorry – prompting Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to accuse him of plagiarism.

Sexually Active… Too?
On Facebook, Anonymous Incorporated posted this undated photo of Juan Ponce Enrile and his ex-Chief of Staff Gigi Reyes

e
Kung ito ay remake ng isang pelikula, ano ang angkop na pamagat?
A: Temptation Island
B: Saan Nagtatago ang Pag-ibig
C: Crazy, Stupid, Love
D: Diligin Mo ng Suka ang Uhaw na Lumpia
——————————————————————
“Older women are best because they always think they may be doing it for the last time.”
~Ian Fleming

From Pixel Offensive
The truth snout there,  I mean, is out there.
e

Sound Bites
“If he can prove to me that Janet Napoles had lunch with the President, I would resign. If he doesn’t prove his claim, he should apologize to us.”
~ Presidential Spokesperson Edwin Lacierda on Kit Tatad

Have a safe week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Philippine Daily Inquirer, Philippine Star, Anonymous Inc, Pixel Offensive]

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12 responses

24 09 2013
Xyr Encela

Maybe Tito Sen sponsored that Kid! Ngayon pa lang naaamoy ko nang magiging Senador ito!

Like

24 09 2013
Essan Labos

Only way this lady lawyer might have a sex life is if she turns hermaphrodite. On the other hand, tanda and gg may have something going…shucks, like you said 25 years is a long time..

Like

24 09 2013
Dex Siazon

“….SENATOR JUAN PONCE ENRILE- THE MAN I SERVED WITH FULL DEDICATION ….” – reminds me of whores and prostitutes using the word “service” for something very bastos, haha!

Like

24 09 2013
Martin E Cruz

Read this the first time; cool blog!! Keep going!

Like

24 09 2013
otep

hahaha “(Tama ang desisyon kong mag-subscribe na lang sa Daily Tribune!)” Salamat sa endorsement. Lels 😛

Like

24 09 2013
Jessica Cardenas

ang dami kong tawa! hahaha

Like

25 09 2013
Tess Pagaduan

ha-ha-ha!!! very hilarious at least medyo bumaba ang blood pressure ko with all these undesirable news about Napoles case…tks for the laughter but seriously let us be vigilant… Hay, i don’t lose hope , there are still some good people out there with clean intentions who wanted to serve our country well..That i pray..God bless you and our country..

Like

25 09 2013
Richmond

Buti walang sungay yung anino ni Sexy. Yun kasi yung ineexpect ko sa kanilang lahat.

Like

26 09 2013
Sonny Borres Quina

On The Movie Title Of Sen.JPE And His Former Chief Of Staff, Atty.Gigi Reyes…
“Iulam Mo Ako sa Kanin Na May Pork Barrel!”

Like

26 09 2013
Angry Bird (@AngryBird1905)

hahaha panalo naman sa title ng pelikula..letter D ako malakas ang hatak sa masa :)))

Like

26 09 2013
La Bamba (@BCaramba)

I always find time to read your hilarious yet sensible blogs. It gives your readers needed relief from the distressing events in our country. Thanks!

Like

15 10 2013
Escalante Dino Lucban Lao

Diligin Mo ng Suka ang Uhaw na Lumpia

Like

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