AFTER the spate of bombings that killed at least 15 people, attention has shifted yet again to Mindanao. And pork barrel scammers were like, “Awesome!”

Pork Barrel Scam
Alleged pork barrel queen Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles insisted her wealth came from legitimate business. For the bad publicity she has been getting of late, Napoles is blaming her enemies: the Philippine Daily Inquirer, Rappler, and the truth.

Former AFP Director General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. debunks his former business partner Janet Lim-Napoles’ claim that her wealth came from coal – although it’s close. It’s also dark.

Former congressman Prospero Pichay has vouched for the goodness of character of the Napoles couple and refuses to believe they had anything to do with the pork barrel scam. Because if there’s someone who’s in a position to best defend a suspected crook, it has to be a person of untarnished reputation, good morals, and unimpeachable character like Prospero Pichay, right?

Ex-solon Prospero Pichay defended Janet Lim-Napoles and her husband against allegations they masterminded the P10-B pork barrel scam. In other news, Kim Kardashian says Lindsay Lohan is the best role model for today’s youth.

Janet Lim-Napoles’ husband, retired marine major Jaime Napoles says daughter Jeane’s social media posts showing her lavish lifestyle (the Porsches, the Louis Vuittons, the Chanels, the jewelry, etc) was part of “a school requirement.” Mr. Napoles should try showbiz. He’s got a bright future in comedy.

Last Wednesday, the Bureau of Internal Revenue said it has started to probe into Janet Lim-Napoles’ assets and taxes. On Thursday, the Napoleses sponsored a mass.

Janet Napoles sponsored a mass last Thursday. Her trusted friends, including some from the mainstream media were all present. Sought for comment about the event, God said, “I wasn’t invited!”

When one of the whistleblowers, Benhur Luy first surfaced, Janet Lim-Napoles zeroed in on his sexuality and described him as “confused.” Luckily for Benhur, Pope Francis was on his side.

Both the Senate and the Lower House have rejected calls to investigate the reported PDAF scam. Those implicated were not even made to explain. It’s a walk in the pork for them.

1Techie JPE
During a Senate committee hearing, Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile was photographed playing ‘Bejeweled’ on his iPad. It was one of the side effects of stem cell treatment.

While at work, former Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile was caught playing ‘Bejeweled.’ Ibang level ka!

Same Sex Adultery
Albay Rep. Edcel Lagman Jr. has filed a bill that seeks to penalize same sex adultery. In totally unrelated news, the Albay representative dismissed rumors he’s at odds with the Albay governor.

This week marks the first anniversary of the Curiosity rover’s successful landing on Mars. In Japan, the first talking robot has just been sent into space. What’s next? A private American group is looking forward to successfully sending a married couple to Mars. That’s what’s happening in other countries. We don’t have that technology here in the Philippines. Hell, we can’t even send one corrupt lawmaker to jail!

Gilas Pilipinas
The Philippine basketball team has qualified for the FIBA World Cup in Spain next year. In the gut-wrenching semifinals game, Gilas Pilipinas beat South Korea, 86-79. Filipinos are probably among the happiest people on earth today… next only to North Koreans.
“Greed is like a dark side of every man, and you could not see it from the appearance of a man, but in the inside the greedy beast already dominating you.”
~ Steven Eric Chen

Sound Bites
“Iyon nga ho ang ikinasasama ng loob namin kasi mga magulang kami, pati mga anak namin nadadamay. Bilang magulang, gusto ko lang namin mabigyan ng magandang edukasyon ang anak namin.”
~ Retired marine major Jaime Napoles on the criticisms hurled against his daughter Jeane

Have a great week ahead! Let’s keep talking about the pork barrel scam. Please.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler


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