A SERIES of investigative reports by the Philippine Daily Inquirer exposed a P10-billion Priority Development Assistance Fund scam. Pork barrel funds of lawmakers are diverted to ghost projects of bogus NGOs created by a certain Janet Lim-Napoles and her company. Right now, Napoles is being chased by reporters, news anchors, and karma.

After reading the Inquirer’s special report, I now conclude that TIME Magazine erred in declaring President Aquino the most powerful and influential Filipino. No contest, it’s Janet Lim-Napoles!


A Philippine Daily Inquirer special report says 28 lawmakers are being linked to the 10 billion-peso pork barrel scam. Furious lawmakers accuse the Inquirer of erroneous reporting. It’s more than 28!

According to the Inquirer’s special report, Sen. Bong Revilla topped the list of lawmakers who had transactions with Janet Lim-Napoles. Documents showed Revilla allowed his pork barrel to be used by the bogus NGOs 22 times. Wow. Kap’s amazing story!

Reacting to the alleged pork barrel scam, Bong Revilla, in a statement said, “Porke ba may mga nagtutulak sa aking tumakbo sa 2016, wawasakin na nila ang pangalan ko?” And 2016 was like, “uTANG NA loob. Nananahimik ako!”

Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago says lawmakers who have been linked to the pork barrel scam must immediately take a leave of absence out of delicadeza. To which, lawmakers replied, “Ano ‘yon?!”

Breaking: Sketchy reports claim lawmakers who are being linked to the pork barrel scam just had a sudden, unexpected, and uncontrollable urge to buy an extra paper shredder.

Note: This statement was sent to this blogger via email.

Senate of the Philippines
Official Statement

“Ako ay labis na nababahala sa lumabas na report tungkol sa pag-abuso diumano sa Priority Development Assistance Fund o pork barrel ng ilang mambabatas. Nabanggit sa ulat ang aking pangalan. Nakakalungkot – dahil kailanman ay hindi ako umabuso sa salaping ipinagkatiwala sa akin ng taumbayan.

Handa akong sumailalim sa imbestigasyon upang mabatid ang puno’t dulo ng isyung ito. Nais ko lang linawin na ni minsan ay hindi ko nakausap o nakapulong ang Janet Lim-Napoles na ‘yan. Kung totoo man ang ibinabatong mga akusasyon kanya, kaisa ako sa paghahanap ng katarungan. Nasa panig ako ng mamamayan.

Walang pulitika rito. Sa aking palagay ay malinis ang layunin ng mga whistleblowers: ang mahinto ang katiwalian sa pamahalaan.

Sa susunod na sesyon ay magsusumite ako ng leave of absence sa Senado upang maiwasan ang pagkuwestyon sa kredibilidad ng isinasagawang pagsisiyasat ng mga awtoridad.

Muli, kakampi ako ng taumbayan sa paghahanap sa katotohanan. Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!”

~ Said No One. Ever.

Scrap PDAF
Senator Franklin Drilon is proposing to scrap the Priority Development Assistance Fund or pork barrel. Janet Lim-Napoles just died.

Sen. Franklin Drilon has just proposed the abolition of the controversial pork barrel. In totally unrelated news, a new SWS survey showed 99 percent of lawmakers answered “Frank Drilon” when they were asked, “If looks could kill, who would you stare at?”

In other news…
According to UP professors, the suggestion made by the Komisyon sa Wikang Filipino to replace the country’s name “Pilipinas” with “Filipinas” is unconstitutional. Glad to know that silliness is against the law.

An online girl-to-girl magazine has named Filipino singing sensation Charice as the world’s hottest lesbian. Take that Mommy Raquel!

In Russia, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden has been stuck in a Moscow airport for three weeks now. Snowden has rejected the Russian government’s “relocation offer” of P18,000.

In Rome, Italian Premier Enrico Letta harshly criticized Senator Roberto Calderoli for saying that Congolese-born Italian Immigration Minister Cecile Kyenge looks like an orangutan. Calderoli insisted it was just a joke and added, “Sa mga hindi nakakaunawa, ako na lang ang uunawa sa inyo.”
“Scoundrels will be corrupt and unconcerned citizens apathetic under even the best constitution.”
― William Earl Maxwell

Sound Bites
“As long as government is there, there is money.”
~Alleged “mother” of pork barrel scam Janet Lim-Napoles

“Limang senador sangkot sa 10 billion peso (pork barrel) scam? Billion! B as in baboy talaga! Naghahanap-buhay ang ibang tao. Umulan, umaraw nagtatrabaho ka. Niloloko tayo ng mga ito.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

Sa lahat ng nagbulsa ng pera ng taumbayan, die!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos from the Philippine Daily Inquirer and Reuters.]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

15 thoughts on “PORK NG INA N’YO!”

  1. Some senators and congressman/mayors take 60% commission of 10 billion peso scam, and the senators involved are suddenly unavailable for comment, ( most of them are in las vegas, los angeles or new york and now everyone knows how they can afford it!)
    When will voters wake up and put their children’s future before supporting criminal scum, selling their vote for a t-shirt, or being feudal slaves.
    My disgust has hit a new high as senators reach a new low, even by filipino standards.
    And naturally an inquiry will show everyone is innocent, just to add insult to injury, immunity with impunity.
    How dare pnoy talk about improvements in corruption in SONA, but am sure he will!
    Very sad state of affairs.
    Still, everyone can ignore reality, and be proud that charice has been voted sexiest lesbian!!


  2. The political ‘elite’ steal the money from the taxpayer and the poor

    “The upper class keeps the rest of the money, but pays none of the taxes.
    The middle class pays all of the taxes, and does all of the work.
    The poor are there…just to scare the sh!t out of the middle class!”
    George carlin


  3. Wake Philippines and ALL Filipinos. Register our irritation, frustration, anger, demand for change of the mindset so we get rid of the culture of impunity and our brand of political dynasty-ism; get ideologies behind the political parties so the action program for the citizens (we are your bosses!) are sustained, and the best way to stop personal and transactional politics. One final suggestion: continue investigating these politicians for their participation in this scam, convict them if guilty and jail them. All the people–without exception– involved must be made to pay. This is equivalent to genocide. Allow not these people to invoke that dicease called Alzheimer. Reward the whistleblowers appropriately for rendering true public service.


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