WATDAPAK!

untitled
THE KOMISYON sa Wikang Filipino or KWF wants the name Pilipinas changed to Filipinas to promote the official and modern name of the country. The KWF suggests that the name ‘Pilipinas’ on letterheads, stamps, and notepads be replaced with ‘Filipinas.’ I am not that familiar with the mandate of the KWF but this has to be asked: Anong problema n’yo?

Oh, here’s another phone-in question: Wala kayong magawa?

The great Virgilio Almario, KWF Chairman was also quoted to have said, “Unang dapat burahin ang ‘Philippines.’ Tatak ito ng patuloy na pag-iral sa ating utak ng pananakop ng mga Amerikano.” If we follow this ridiculous suggestion, the University of the Philippines will become University of Filipinas. How do we cheer then for the Fighting Maroons? UF Fight! Ang lavo!

Ang UAAP magiging UAAF
Malaking froblema!

Kahit itanong n’yo pa kay Tourism Secretary Mon Jimenez…
Ang “It’s more fun in Filipinas!” – hindi veventa!

Pati mga d’yaryo mag-aalsa:
Filipinas Daily Inquirer? Ano va?!
Eh ang Filipinas Star? Faano kikita?

Filipinas Stock Exchange?
Ano ‘yon? Pangalan ng casa?!

From PUP to PUF
Ayaw ng mga aktibista.

Philippine Normal University
Filipinas Normal University na.

Pati mga kadete, magwawala
Kapag naging Fee-M-A ang school nila.

Filipinas National Police?! Waley!
Armed Forces of Filipinas?! Kalurkey!

Narinig n’yo na ba ang balita?
May bagong bagyo raw na pumasok sa Filipinas Area of Responsbility.
Papunta na nga raw ito sa West Filipinas Sea.

Parang may mali!

Sandali.
Baka naman si PNoy, tawagin na ring F-Noy.
F-Noy!
F-Noy!
Hindi magandang ulit-ulitin
Parang tunog bastusin.

Filipinas Airlines… magagalit si Lucio Tan.
Filipinas Coast Guard: ‘di type ng fishermen.

Ang PAGASA, magiging FAGASA?
Baka maakusahan pa ng homophobia!

From PAGCOR to FAGCOR?
Nakakakaba!
Maaalarma ang mga moralista!

Speaking of moralista…
Ang Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines
Magiging Catholic Bishops’ Conference of Filipinas na!
Mai-imbyerna sina Father at sasabihin “Over!”
Baka muling pag-initan ang “My Husvand’s Lober.”

Kaya sa Komisyon ng Wikang Filipino: Naku po… good luck!
Itong suggestion n’yo, isang malaking: watdapak!

untitled Mayor Erap
IN HIS inaugural address, Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada said he was convicted because of his principles. He then compared himself with Nelson Mandela, Anwar Ibrahim and Aung San Suu Kyi. That was probably Erap’s funniest joke ever.

Talking about his prison term, Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada said he’s in the company of well-loved icon Nelson Mandela. When the South African leader heard this, he almost died… laughing.

On his being an ex-convict, Erap said he’s in the company of Malaysia’s Anwar Ibrahim and Nobel laureates Aung San Suu Kyi and Nelson Mandela. After Erap’s speech, Mandela, Anwar, and Suu Kyi immediately issued a joint statement clarifying they were never jailed for plunder.

In his inaugural address as Manila mayor, Joseph Estrada said, “The fight against corruption will be the centerpiece of my administration.” Hey Erap, 1998 called. Narinig na raw n’ya ‘yan.

untitled Safe
Doctors say former Cagayan De Oro Rep. Benjo Benaldo is out of danger now. To ensure his continued safety, he was advised to stay away from himself.

ABS-CBN reported that Benjo Benaldo left a suicide note in which he allegedly wrote, “My death is for electoral reform. Sana mabago na (ang) sistema.” The “system” replied, “You too!”

In his alleged suicide note, Benjo Benaldo wrote, “My death is for electoral reform.” Considering however the needed reforms in our electoral system, at least 200 solons must do the same.
————————————————————-
“Know what you are talking about.”
~ John Paul II

Sound Bites
“Ipinapasiya, gaya ng ginagawang pagpapasiya ngayon, na ibalik ang gamit ng ‘Filipinas’ habang pinipigil ang paggamit ng ‘Pilipinas’ upang mapalaganap ang opisyal at modernisadong katawagan ng bansa na kumikilala sa kasaysayan at pag-unlad ng pagkabansa nito.”
~Komisyon ng Wikang Filipino

“For the first time in history, Manila will have an ex-convict as your mayor.”
~Joseph Estrada

Personal
To everyone who supported me in this year’s Tatt (Social Media) Awards, thank you so much. I am overwhelmed. Win or lose… it’s a non-working day on Friday (kung gugustuhin mo)!

Have a fun and safe week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Rappler.com, Cong. Miro Quimbo]

Advertisements

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

28 thoughts on “WATDAPAK!”

  1. Ex-congressman Benjo benaldo is a peacock whose greatest friend is his mirror, and whose worst enemy is his ego.

    Pnoy offered his sympathy, and shooting lessons.

    “If you’re a nobody, just imagine a lot of celebrities are in love with you. Narcissism is the best cure for attention deficit disorder.”
    ― Bauvard,

    Like

Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s