OF DOGS, PIGS, AND BISHOPS

1SenatorFail
Reports say Catholic bishops gave President Aquino’s first three years in power a failing grade. Awkwardly, Catholics gave bishops’ last 500 years in power a failing grade too.

Gay Friendly
A recent study showed the Philippines ranked as one of the most gay-friendly nations in the world. “Homosexuality should be accepted by society,” according to 73 percent of adult Filipinos. The remaining 27 percent were Catholic bishops.

SONA 2013
Malacañang has started to prepare for President Aquino’s State of the Nation Address. The president’s speech will likely be divided into three: achievements, promises, and Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Reports say President Aquino is preparing himself for the upcoming SONA. To which Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo said, “Ako rin.”

iQuit
Saying he “dishonored” the Philippine Daily Inquirer, ‘Pugad Baboy’ creator Pol Medina Jr resigned as Inquirer contributor. PMJr, who was quick to apologize after admitting his mistake definitely has delicadeza. He’ll never be Senate majority floor leader.

Certification
The Commission on Audit allowed senators to liquidate up to half a million pesos via “certification.” Or as ordinary government employees would say, “Inggit much.”

1Senator

Still At It
Congressional candidate Nelly Villafuerte, who badly lost to Leni Robredo in Camarines Sur is seeking the latter’s disqualification for allegedly accepting campaign contributions from foreigners. Earlier, the Villafuerte matriarch also accused Robredo of cheating. Dear Mrs. Villafuerte, What part of “Enough!” don’t you understand?

Talking Again
Here’s an interesting news. Long time rivals North and South Korea have agreed to talk again to mend their badly strained relations. All is not lost… JV and Jinggoy!

Rainy Season
On Monday afternoon, PAGASA declared that the rainy season has officially started. Davao City residents whose houses have been submerged in floodwaters since Friday were like, “Weh?! ‘Di nga?! ”

Explosion
Seven people were hurt when a suspected gas explosion ripped through a school building outside New York City. Investigators are verifying reports the school building was developed by Ayala Land.

Peace
Ex-future Cebu representative Annabelle Rama has made peace with former actress Nadia Montenegro. A surprised Nadia thanked Cebuano voters for “making this possible.”

Freedom
On Wednesday, June 12, Philippine Independence turns 115 years old – making it a potential frontrunner for Senate president.

111
Kabang’s Back
After a successful reconstructive surgery in the US, lifesaving dog Kabang returned home to a hero’s welcome. It got a bit awkward though when Chavit Singson and Lito Atienza appeared from nowhere and started cheering Kabang on.
————————————————-
“Everyone loves a witch hunt as long as it’s someone else’s witch being hunted.”
~Walter Kirn

Sound Bites
“To Ms Letty Jimenez-Magsanoc,

Ma’am:

Sorry. I dishonored you.
I resign.”

~Pol Medina Jr‘s resignation submitted to PDI’s Editor In Chief

Have a productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

4 thoughts on “OF DOGS, PIGS, AND BISHOPS”

  1. St scholastica’s college – the most lesbian friendly in the world bar Nun.

    2,4,6,8
    We take kids, gay or straight
    2,4,6 and a quarter
    More than a schooling for your daughter

    1 minus 1 equals nun
    Lots of extracurricular fun
    1 plus 1 equals 69
    Fail on maths, but oral fine

    Our headgirl is called jane
    She likes it now and again
    And again and again
    Our headmistress is called treasure
    Through our pain she finds pleasure

    2,4,6,8
    Who do we appreciate
    Short skirts and long curls
    Those St Scholastica girls

    2,4,6,8
    We do not discriminate
    Gay, lesbian or bi
    Have fun, give us a try

    In the world’s most gay friendly nation
    Perfect for your daughters ‘education’

    Like

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