CHICKEN!

HERE ARE some answers to the age-old question, ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ from famous Filipinos.


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Jackie Enrile: Upang humanap ng murang pagkain at maraming pagkain.

Manny Pacquiao: You know.

Vice Ganda: Karapatan ng chicken na mag-cross ng road pero karapatan ko ring sabihin ang gusto kong sabihin dahil meron tayong freedom of speech: wala pang sapat na karanasan ang chicken sa pagtawid!

Risa Hontiveros: Siguro mas makabubuting pagdebatehan muna natin ang paksang ‘yan.

Nancy Binay: Wala po akong time na makipagtalo sa isyu ng pagtawid ng manok. Busy ako sa TV interviews dahil latecomer po ako. Ngayon na lang ako nagpa-interview.

UNA spokesman Toby Tiangco: We have received reports that someone manipulated the chicken into crossing that road.

Alfredo Lim: O, ‘wag kayong mag-alala, paiimbestigahan agad natin.

Supreme Court: A temporary restraining order is hereby issued to prevent the chicken from crossing the road again. So ordered.

ER Ejercito: Dahil hindi lang ‘yon ordinaryong manok. Sasabungin din ‘yon. At hindi lang basta sasabungin – lagi ‘yong nananalo!

Sixto Brillantes Jr: Wala namang masama sa pagtawid ah. Kung may maipakikita kayong anomalya sa ginawa ng manok, magre-resign ako!

Chiz Escudero: Ano’t ano pa man, dapat nating igalang ang naging pasya ng chicken. Manok man siya, walang sinuman ang may karapatang yurakan ang kanyang pagkahayup.

Kris Aquino: Dahil hinarass siya ng rooster sa harap mismo ng sisiw. Kitang-kita ng sisiw ang pangyayari. Na-trauma ang sisiw.

Cezar Mancao: Hindi kasi safe sa kinaroroonan niya kaya siya tumawid. May gustong pumatay sa kanya.

Ping Lacson: I have no interest in the chicken.

Anne Hathaway: Why not ask the chicken yourself?

Georgina Wilson: ugh! i hate meat but I only have one thing to say – whoever advised the chicken to cross that busy road was f**k**g stupid!

President Aquino: Aba malay ko! Sisihin n’yo ang dating administrasyon!
——————————————-
“Roads are no place for naive chickens dreaming of nirvana.”
~ Shalom Auslander, Hope: A Tragedy

Sound Bites
“Wala akong problema with Migz Zubiri and after everything has settled. I want to schedule a lunch or dinner with my friend, Migz Zubiri.”
~Senator-elect Koko Pimentel

To fellow Filipinos in Taiwan, stay safe and keep calm. This too shall pass.

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

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