FOR VICE GOVERNOR, voters in Quezon Province elected 23-year-old Sam Nantes. How time flies! Sam Nantes was just a baby when Nancy Binay started her OJT.
Camarines Sur’s newly-elected governor, Migz Villafuerte is 24 – or as Quezon Province voters would say, “old.”
Quezon Vice Governor Sam Nantes is 23. Cam Sur Governor Migz Villafuerte is 24. Cavite Vice Governor Jolo Revilla is 25. These elected officials are really young. To give you an idea of how young these men are, even if you add 30 to their age, Loren Legarda would still find them “too young” for her.
In Camarines Sur, Atty. Leni Robredo was elected congresswoman. Her best asset is her late husband’s legacy of good governance. For governor, Cam Sur elected 24-year-old Migz Villafuerte. His best asset is his abs.
Some analysts say voters opted to elect the young and the ‘new’ last elections. That’s why you have the Grace Poes, the Nancy Binays, the Bam Aquinos, the Sonny Angaras, and the face of Cynthia Villar.
Defeated Congressional candidate Nelly Villafuerte of Camarines Sur accuses proclaimed winner Leni Robredo of cheating. That’s like accusing Albay Governor Joey Salceda of womanizing.
Still in Cam Sur, Aga Muhlach lost – officially to Wimpy Fuentebella. Aga refuses to accept his loss. Voters refuse to accept Aga’s from Bicol.
It’s a 9-3 victory for Team PNoy after five stages: COC filing, campaigning, voting, counting and proclamation. Meanwhile, UNA can now focus on the next five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Here’s a good news: the midterm election is over. Here’s an even better news: we’ll be hearing less from Toby Tiangco.
Bad news for UNA’s Migz Zubiri: he finished 14th in the senatorial race. The good news is he doesn’t have to resign.
Many are saddened by Richard Gordon’s loss. But a number of people are also celebrating his defeat. Those people are called ‘Gringo supporters.’
A: “Sinukat ko ang agwat ng ranking namin ni Risa Hontiveros. Ganito kalayo o! Boom!”
B: “Sabi ni Daddy, ganito lang siya kahaba nang ipanganak. Promise!”
C: “Nag-print ako ng anti-Nancy Binay memes at ganito yata karami ang print out. As in!”
D: “Ganito!! Ganito kakapal ang pinlantsa ko noong Huwebes kaya ‘di ako naka-attend sa proclamation.”
A: “Sweetheart, bakit ang sarap yata ng tawa mo?”
“Eh kasi, malamang na nanonood si Mommy ngayon. Gusto ko lang siyang asarin!”
B: “Sweetheart, anong nakakatawa?”
“Wala lang. Natutuwa lang ako dahil No. 4 ka, at si JV, No. 11. ‘Di ba siniraan ka no’n? Hihihi”
C: “Sweetheart, may dumi ba ako sa mukha? Ba’t mo ‘ko tinatawanan?”
“Nooo! Hindi ikaw babe! Ayun o, sina Ma’am Loren at Alan Cayetano… nag-uusap. I swear, feeling ko ‘di sila sincere.”
D: “Sweetheart, what’s funny?”
“Eh kasi, nautot ako habang katabi si Chairman Brillantes. Gosh! Narinig yata niya. Embarrassing! Ahihihi”
A: “Ke ganda-gandang babae no’ng Heart, ang baho ng utot.”
B: “Nangangamoy 9-3 na talaga. Kaya siguro ‘no show’ si Nancy.”
C: “Mag-resign kaya ako ngayon para agaw-eksena sa proclamation?!”
D: “Pare, umaalingasaw ang pagiging bitter no’ng isang kampo. May manipulasyon daw ng data. Wala naman ‘di ba? Move on, move on din pag may time. Oooops, i hate that phrase.”
Reports say Somalia is the most dangerous place in the world. In close second is Taiwan.
Toronto Mayor Robert Ford was caught using cocaine. If removed from his post, Ford can always come to the Philippines, run for office in Ilocos Sur and win a seat in Congress.
RIP Bella Flores
Bella Flores, the iconic character actress is dead at 84. People are now asking, “Sino na ang papalit sa kanya bilang most hated kontrabida?” And Nancy Binay was like, “O, ba’t nakatingin kayo sa akin?”
Ai-Ai Breaks Down
The Comedy Concert Queen is single again! Ai-Ai De Las Alas’ 29-day marriage to Jed Salang breaks Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries.
“In war, our elders may give the orders…but it is the young who have to fight.”
“At the end of the day, ang apelyido ko pa rin ang nagpapanalo sa akin sa halalang ito.”
~Senator-elect Nancy Binay (Via 24Oras, May 17)
“ugh i hate politics – but I only have one thing to say: Anyone that votes for Erap is a f***ing idiot.”
~Model Georgina Wilson on Twitter
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.