WINNERS, LOSERS II

16 05 2013

THE TRANSMISSION of election returns has slowed down. To give you an idea of how slow it has become, when the counting started, Chairman Brillantes didn’t have a single strand of white hair.

And when the counting started, the Philippines and Taiwan were still friends!

PCOSPrediction
Last month, Comelec Chairman Sixto Brillantes Jr. predicted that 12 winning senators would be proclaimed in 48 hours after the polls. In making the bold prediction though, Brillantes failed to disclose something – he was of Mayan descent.

Winners All
In the 2013 midterm elections, Grace Poe emerged as the biggest winner. She was closely followed by ABS-CBN and GMA Network.

Lucky
Losing in the initial tally, reelectionist Mayor Mariano Malones Sr. of Maasin, Iloilo conceded defeat to his opponent Elben Malaga only to win by FIVE votes after the final count. Malaga is filing a case against Malones for giving him false hope.

Also reelected was the controversial Albay governor Joey Salceda. Bongga!

Camarines Sur’s youngest governor Migz Villafuerte vows to continue the Villafuerte legacy. Cam Sur is still one of the poorest provinces in the country. You might want to reconsider that hijo.

After serving time for drug possession, Ronald Singson is back in Ilocos, back in politics, and back in Congress. He refuses to go back to Hong Kong though.

Atty. Leni Robredo scored a landslide win against Nelly Villafuerte, the matriarch of the influential Villafuerte clan and dynasty of Camarines Sur. Robredo got 102,694 votes while Villafuerte got embarrassed.

Annabelle Concedes
Trounced by former lawmaker Raul Del Mar in Cebu’s north district, talent manager Annabelle Rama tweeted, “I shall return.” Cebuanos replied, “Don’t bother.”

After conceding defeat in Cebu, Annabelle Rama tweeted, “Its not the end of my political career.” Correction: It ended before it began.

Addressing her Twitter followers, defeated congressional candidate Annabelle Rama said, “Its not the end of my political career.” Netizens replied, “It’s.”

PCOSCelebs Win/Lose
Winning in the initial count, actor Aga Muhlach is now losing to Wimpy Fuentebella by a slim margin. “Now you know the feeling.” – Richard Gomez

Anjo Yllana won as councilor in Quezon City’s fifth district. It turned out that voters in that area in QC were former residents of Parañaque City.

Joey Marquez was unsuccessful yet again in Parañaque. In recent years, he’s been losing elections in the city. One more loss and he’ll just transfer to QC.

In Batangas, award-winning actor Christopher De Leon placed a distant third in the Congressional race while Joko Diaz failed to win as Board Member. Boyet and Joko couldn’t believe they lost – while voters couldn’t believe they’re from Batangas.

Imelda Papin lost her bid for a Congressional seat in San Jose Del Monte City in Bulacan. In related news, Papin has a new single: “Isang Linggong Hinagpis.”

Manny Pacquiao was reelected representative of the lone district of Sarangani. He was unopposed. Nobody’s interested to challenge Pacman anymore. Not the Chiongbians, not the Marquezes, not the Mayweathers.

Newly-proclaimed Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada says his top priority is fixing the problem of ‘peace and harmony.’ To prove his sincerity, he’ll start with Jinggoy and JV.

Actor E.R. Ejercito won the gubernatorial race in Laguna. And we don’t care. Period.
————————————————-
“Win without boasting. Lose without excuse.”
~Albert Payson Terhune

Sound Bites
“We had a dynasty, that I don’t deny. But no law states that is wrong.”
~Romeo Jalosjos of the Jalosjos dynasty of Zamboanga. Only 2 of 6 family members won in the last elections

Elsewhere
AFP: A rogues’ gallery of election winners

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

11 responses

16 05 2013
haefennasiel

“Isang Linggong Hinagpis” – bwahahaha! 😄

Like

16 05 2013
jasper

wow! world-wide exposure si nancy binay via the time magazine article. shame on us.

Like

20 05 2013
professionalheckler

think before you believe. that’s fake news

Like

22 05 2013
senior60

ay salamat naman mister heckler at hindi ako nag-iisa hahaha…

pero tell us nga mister heckler, papaano ba malaman na fake news pala yun, basta ako sure na hindi april fool’s day when that news came out…

pero granting nga that that news is true, isn’t the writer more stupid
for naming the philippines or nancy stupid just because of the word ojt? i know that what nancy meant was, she is very experienced and we know that experience is the best teacher….

kahit ang isang tao ay educated, mag master pa or isang summa, the first time he’ll venture into anything ay mangangapa, will need the help of oldtimers…..

teka lang muna, saan na ba ako…

hi to wilyam and rio…

sabi pa sa eat bulaga, paraparaan lang…

Like

17 05 2013
sherwin

Bakit may photo ni Jose Manalo? ay si el governador pala yun.

Like

23 05 2013
derdo

That’s not Jose Manalo?

Like

17 05 2013
Libertas

Oligarchs as power-brokers, pnoy as the puppet, personalities as politicians, celebrities as props, PCOS as poll-fraud, and the populace as pawns.

P!ss poor politicians and pnoy provide perpetual poverty without progress or prosperity.

A recipe for empty stomachs, empty promises, and a sham democracy.

Like

17 05 2013
Libertas

Automated elections – and manual intervention.
The worst of both worlds.
More haste ( to proclaim) – less speed ( to explain). Mmmm!

Like

17 05 2013
Libertas

In the philippine paradox perporting to be people power politics, policies and platforms are predicated by politicians with personality and psychological (ph)laws, partaking of parties, plundering pesos, philandering with pageant prostitutes and playing with personal ‘partners’, putting the predisposition to procrastinate as paramount, and placing performance on a par with a parasitic predator, making the present a permanent playback of the past.

Enough alliteration and word generation. – and try writing that after a liquid lunch! – and in an airport terminal!

Up, up, and away!

Like

22 05 2013
Benigno Simeon de Luisita

yung intrigang binabale-wala na si Mar Roxas dapat binibigyan ng attention. Napupurnada na ang presidential ambition nya.

Like

22 05 2013
Pamilya KUHA-KO, AKIN-NA

Roxas versus Pork Drilon sa 2016….bwahahahahaha… yun pala si FPJ (grace po) pala ang dadalhin ng LP sa 2016… bwahahahahahaha

Like

Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: