FORMER NBA star Yao Ming and his Shanghai Sharks team paid a courtesy call on Vice President Jejomar Binay last Monday, May 6. The Vice President easily developed fondness for the Chinese cager. After all, their names have something in common: dynasty.

Vice President Binay told Yao Ming, “Politics is also a popular sport here in the Philippines.” In fact, if politics were basketball, the Binay family could form a team.

Yao Ming presented Vice President Binay with a Sharks jersey and an autographed basketball. The jersey was a bit wrinkled so he asked Nancy to have it ironed.

According to the Vice President, he’d seen someone who’s eight feet tall but the former Houston Rockets center is “different.” Binay described Yao as “truly terrifying.” To which, Yao Ming said, “Look who’s talking!”

Kris vs. Priest
According to Father Melvin Castro of the CBCP, for the sake of delicadeza, Kris Aquino should stay away from politics. The TV host replied, “You first.”

Despite the reported infighting in the administration coalition, deputy presidential spokesperson Abigail Valte insists there’s no rift in Team PNoy. In other news, there’s no traffic on Edsa.

1ANGSex Appeal
Aside from the fact that Sonny Angara is “young and idealistic,” Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago says she’s voting for the Team PNoy candidate because he’s “full of sex appeal.” Related fact: Senator Santiago didn’t vote for President Aquino in 2010.

Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago is voting for a candidate with these qualities: young, idealistic, full of sex appeal. Manong Ernie Maceda was like, “Tse!”

The Fugitive
He’s all over the news granting interviews to major networks. Do you know where Cezar Mancao is right now? The NBI neither.

The National Bureau of Investigation admits it is having a hard time tracking down fugitive ex-police officer Cezar Mancao. Ping Lacson taught him well.

1ANGPhreatic Explosion
On Tuesday, Mayon Volcano spewed rocks, smoke, and ashes killing at least five mountain climbers. President Aquino advised residents and tourists to stay away from the restive mountain. He also advised Albay Governor Joey Salceda to stay away from UNA candidates.

At press time, a large cloud of ash and smoke is still visible near the crater of Mayon Volcano. President Aquino is hoping that the volcano would stop smoking soon. Mayon Volcano is hoping the same for the president.

Rated XPG
A day after issuing a denial, former Caloocan City councilor Marjorie Barretto admitted that she was the nude woman in scandalous photos that came out in tabloids and the Internet. There were four pics. One word: embarrassing.
“In our age there is no such thing as ‘keeping out of politics.’ All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia.”
~George Orwell

Sound Bites
“Hoy sobra ka naman! Blacker, blacker. At this point, hindi na brown eh. Black na, kaya blacker.”
~Nancy Binay’s reply when the press jokingly told her she’s the brown version of TV host Kris Aquino

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.


Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler


  1. Kris aquino, who thinks that sleeping with politicians counts as political experience, won’t endorse Nancy ‘ironing lady’ Binay. The potty calling the kettle black. The only smart thing to ever come out of kris aquino’s mouth is a – E.I.P.S.N ( 5 letters – 1word. Clue – often used by kris).

    Answer – snipe ( a cutting comment ). Anyone with any other answers, hope you are over 18!

    The Carthusian monks and Carmelite nuns have endorsed nancy binay by holding a silent farting contest.

    Nancy binay is the voice of the silent majority, but, if a housewife could become president, then why can’t a housemaid become a senator.
    She is an ironing board with nipples.
    A coffee machine on legs.

    If brains were gunpowder, she wouldn’t have enough to blow her nose.

    The Deaf association want to hear from nancy binay, and the dumb want her to be their voice. A case of the blind leading the blind.

    “She has just enough intelligence to open her mouth when she needs to eat, but certainly no more”
    P.G. Wodehouse


  2. “Talisay mayor’s son bolts out of Cebu jail” inquirer may 9

    does the country now have an open door policy on criminals.
    de lima doesn’t seem to care less, or corruption strikes again in this non-corrupt administration!

    and on the subject of corruption, the ‘friends’ of a certain administration senatoriable is giving away so much ‘money/gifts’ they will need to arrange for a new road contract in the new session.

    hope comelec enjoy the video, before they destroy it.


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