Philippine Headlines in the Year 2053

55th Congress adjourns; solons fail to tackle FOI Bill anew;
Minority Leader Lorenzo Tanada IV slams majority

DBM delays release of pork barrel:
Disgruntled opposition lawmaker commits suicide

30 out of 100 Filipinos live below poverty line, unchanged since 2013

Centenarians all:
Erap, Maceda, Enrile make it to TIME’s 100 Most Influential Stem Cell Therapy Patients list

Comelec assures public: “Voting via text and social media now in place; no reason not to vote”

New People’s Army to field candidates in the party-list elections

Imelda Marcos is finally dead at 123;
Marcos loyalists demand lavish hero’s burial for former First Lady

Allies turned bitter foes
House Speaker James ‘Bimby’ Aquino to challenge incumbent President Jejomar Binay IV in next year’s polls

CBCP asks court to issue TRO vs. same-sex sex

After 43 years
Fugitive ex-army major Jovito Palparan surrenders

TV Patrol Exclusive:
Lola Kris Aquino at mga nabubuhay pang kapatid magsasalita na tungkol sa diumano’y pangha-harass ng isang lolong ex-PBA player sa 83-year-old retired TV host

Outgoing Bukidnon governor Migz Zubiri celebrates 85th birthday in capitol;
reveals his birthday wish: “Patawarin na sana ako ni Koko.”

Guinness World Records cites Bureau of Customs for “longest sustained corruption”

Independent State of Mindanao declares war on Philippine government

SC finally rules on 43-year-old case: Roxas won 2010 VP race
Korina Sanchez feels vindicated, offers prayer for her late husband

Number of South Koreans in the Philippines exceeds Seoul population
Bureau of Immigration vows stricter policy on foreign tourists

Restaurateur Heart Ongpauco-Escudero to daughter Franchesca’s politician-bf: “Leave her alone!”

Senior statesman Noynoy Aquino, 91 tells media: “I’m married to singlehood.”
Ex-prexy denies rumors he’s dating a former nightclub dancer turned TV host

Netizens accuse late senator Tito Sotto of copying a blogger’s epitaph and inscribing it on his own tombstone

Palace bestows Mother of the Century Award to Nanay Nancy Binay, 80
Ex-senator’s 5 children, 30 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren to attend ceremony

Bb. Pilipinas pageant marks its 90th year;
90 candidates to compete in 10-hour finalé

UAAP Season 116 shocker: UP Fighting Maroons foil Ateneo Blue Eagles’ 46-peat

ER Ejercito wins posthumous PMPC and Famas trophies for the 25th consecutive year

And in showbiz:
Apo nina Claudine at Gretchen Barretto, matindi na naman ang away;
mga baho ng kani-kanilang lola, inungkat pa
“I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”
~ Albert Einstein

11Sound Bites
“Kaya ako nagtataka kasi Gretchen prays the rosary, every time, talagang two to three times a day, she goes to Baclaran. May devotion. Nagsisimba, parang very solid ang relationship with God. Ako naman feeling ko kung madasalin kang tao, ‘yung ina-accuse sa iyo na may sisiraan kang kapatid, hindi bagay doon sa nakita ko, for myself na napakamadasalin ngayon. I’m sure since madasalin siya ino-honor niya ang Ten Commandments. Hindi ba the fourth commandment is ‘honor your mother and your father?'”
~Kris Aquino on Gretchen Barretto’s feud with her mom, Inday

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: PHStars.Com/ABSCBN-Global]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

15 thoughts on “PHILIPPINES 2053”

  1. nyahaha kulet nung kay heart, korina saka tv patrol exclusive ^_^

    siguro naman may nagbabasang taga-LP dito, baka pwedeng tulungan nyo naman ung manok nyo sa pagka-mayor dito sa quezon, balita ko nangungulelat eh, tulungan nyo naman, daang matuwid naman kayo eh, paimbestigahan nyo yung sinasabi nyang 10m na mansyon sa lucena ng kalaban nya ngayon *ahem*caralian*ahem* kayo rin, walang pag-asa manalo manok nyo hehehe


  2. oh no don’t let the ongpaucos read your predictions, magwawala yun haha, kaloka pati name ng magiging daughter nila heart alam mo,..
    si sotto talaga…lol.. pati yun..pero malamang nga mangopya din sya nun..
    kita mo din ba sa bolang crystal mo kung sino pang 6 footer ang kawawang nabiktima ni tetay?


Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: