OF PICK-UP LINES AND SECRET ACCOUNTS

HERE’S SOMETHING light for the weekend: an updated version of my original post published in 2011 – Pickup Lines from Famous Filipinos.

Jose Rizal: Okay lang na ma-exile… basta sa puso mo.

Chiz Escudero: Ngiti mo pa lang… lasing na ako.

JV Ejercito: Totoo ang mga narinig mong tsismis! Ang lahat sa akin… mataba.

Andres Bonifacio: Hindi lang cedula ang kaya kong punitin.

Bro. Eddie Villanueva: Trip mo bang sumigaw ng “Oh my God!!!” ngayong gabi?

Grace Poe: Inaamin ko po, ako ay sobrang magalang. Pero sa ‘yo… pababastos ako.

Juan Ponce Enrile: Gusto mong maging happy?

Gen. Gregorio Del Pilar: Sabi nila, mahusay raw akong mangabayo.

President Noynoy Aquino: Matagal-tagal ko na ring ‘di napapaputok ‘tong baril ko. Gusto mong subukan?

Loren Legarda: Umamin ka! Nakita mo lang ako, naging luntian na ang paligid mo!

Cynthia Villar: Binasted ka ba ng nililigawan mo? Don’t worry, I’ll nurse your broken heart.

Meralco Chairman Manny Pangilinan: Lights on or lights off?

BIR Commissioner Kim Henares: Para sa ‘yo… handa kong ibuwis ang buhay ko.

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GMA7’s resident meteorologist Nathaniel ‘Mang Tani’ Cruz: Ayon sa satellite data… may PAGASA raw ako sa ‘yo.

Ferdinand Marcos: Promise, hindi lang kamay na bakal ang matigas sa akin.

Jack Enrile: Papatay ako para sa ‘yo.

Risa Hontiveros: Puwede ba kitang Akbayan? (Syet, ang korni!)

Nancy Binay: Kung may maitim kang balak sa akin… go lang! Anytime…

Jamby Madrigal: Kung sasali ako sa pa-raffle sa Twitter, gusto ko ikaw ang premyo.

GomBurZa: Familiar ka sa phrase na “thrice the fun?”

Presidential sister Viel Aquino-Dee:

And finally…
Dick Gordon: Kung ipapahimas ko ba ang pangalan ko… hihimasin mo? Boom!

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SECRET ACCOUNTS: According to the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism, outgoing senator Manuel Villar and outgoing San Juan representative and senatorial candidate JV Ejercito both own “secret offshore corporations” in the British Virgin Islands. Ejercito neither confirmed nor denied the report. Instead, he blamed the allegation on his enemies – the facts.

PCIJ’s Malou Mangahas said JV Ejercito “evaded questions” on his “offshore accounts” in the Caribbean. Ejercito instead questioned the “timing” of the story as “highly suspicious.” To which Jinggoy Estrada said, “Hindi rin.”

The PCIJ also uncovered that businessmen Alan Ortiz and Jesus Alcordo had secret accounts in the British Virgin Islands which were not declared in their SALNs. Ortiz and Alcordo wished they were senatoriables so they could also blame politics.

The same PCIJ report says Imee Marcos owns secret accounts also in the British Virgin Islands. The report shocked the former congresswoman. All along, Imee thought she set up those accounts in the Cayman Islands.

Sen. Manny Villar also owns offshore accounts in the Caribbean. His wife, Cynthia Villar was not surprised at all saying, “Hindi naman kailangang ganon’n kagaling para magkaroon ka ng account doon.”
——————————————-
“I am a politician which means I am a liar and a crook. When I am not kissing babies I am stealing their lollipops.”
~Tom Clancy

Tweet of the Weak: Lost In Translation
Apparently, Team Koko Pimentel thought people in Pangasinan spoke Kapampangan

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Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

20 thoughts on “OF PICK-UP LINES AND SECRET ACCOUNTS”

  1. nyahaha kulet nung nung bbq banat ni gma ^_^

    yan na naman yang secret accounts na yan, eh paano pag kaalyado na, hahabulin pa rin ba?

    SALN: Kahit anong pilit ko, di ko pa rin kayang itago ang nilalaman ng puso ko sa’yo. BOOM!

    meron pa sana tungkol sa secret account at virgin islands kaso baka ma-rated spg hehehe…

    Like

  2. 3 down, 497 more filipino politicians/personalities with tax haven accounts to be exposed.
    Mckinseys estimate capital flight ( not investments) from philippines at 97 Billion dollars – 50,000 pesos for every man, woman, child. – equivalent to the national debt!
    Only surprise is the lack of outrage.

    peoole power certainly made politicians rich.

    Like

  3. Kris aquino breaks her promise as expected, and even quicker than p-noy can blame gma for his mistakes.

    Also says she met a 60 year old man in paris – the city of love, and hookers!
    Her pick up line – ” Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir, monsieur”
    It’s all the french she knows, and needs.

    Didn’t do much better in meeting the pope
    Her pick up line – “Can a fallen woman lift herself up from the gutter and regain salvation, and return to prime time tv and tacky product endorsements, and become president?”
    Frankie said ” Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. (Don’t call me, I’ll call you!)
    And thought, ‘ pilipinas habe grande problemo’

    Like

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