The Professional Heckler

THE LATEST Social Weather Stations survey is out. Of the 12 senatorial slots that were up for grabs, Team PNOY got 9, UNA got nervous.

ABS-CBN News reported that when Vice President Jejomar Binay saw the SWS study, he was in disbelief – exactly the same reaction of many people when his daughter Nancy placed fourth in another survey.

Team PNOY’s Jamby Madrigal, Jun Magsaysay, and Rissa Hontiveros failed to enter the Magic 12. If they still miss the cut in the next two surveys, they’ll change their last names to ‘Binay.’

UNA’s Jackie Enrile who promises “murang pagkain, maraming pagkain” to Filipinos is out of the Magic 12. People are on a diet.

Team PNOY’s Grace Poe had the biggest jump – from 10th in January to 5th in the February survey. Her MMK episode was shown February 2. Wala lang.

The SWS survey results are in. Former Senate President Ernesto Maceda is out.

Ansabeh/Ang Totoo
Ansabeh: “Kahit hindi kami magkasama sa partido, naniniwala akong magkaibigan pa rin kami.”
Ang Totoo: “Pero kung may matatalo sa botohan, sana siya na lang.”

Ansabeh: “Sus! ‘Yang survey na ‘yan kinukundisyon ang utak ng mga tao na natatalo kami.”
Ang Totoo: “Pero kung kami ang lumalamang, ‘the people have spoken.’”

Ansabeh: “’Walang basehan ang kaso laban sa akin. Pinupulitika lang ako.”
Ang Totoo: “Bakit kasi ngayon lang natuklasan ‘tong kagaguhang ginawa ‘ko? Sana pagkatapos na lang ng eleksyon.”

Ansabeh: “Her best asset? She’s my daughter.”
Ang Totoo: “’Yon na ‘yon.”

Ansabeh: “Huwag po n’yo sanang isiping nakalimot na kami sa mga tulad n’yong maliliit.”
Ang Totoo: “Hinding-hindi po… lalo na kapag eleksyon.”

Ansabeh: “Naniniwala po akong mas malaki ang magagawa ko kung ako ay nasa Senado kaysa city hall o kapitolyo.”
Ang Totoo: “Mas malaki rin ang kikitain ko.”

Ansabeh: “‘Di n’yo po naitatanong, ‘yong lolo ko po ay dito ipinanganak sa lalawigan n’yo.”
Ang Totoo: “Ngayon ko rin lang nalaman ‘yan. Nagulat din ako.”

In Other News
The race is on for the next pope who shall replace resigned Pope Benedict XVI. Informal surveys identified some frontrunners including cardinals from Ghana, Italy, Canada, and Honduras. Also doing well in the survey is Nancy Binay.

Some 115 cardinals are expected to gather in Rome for the conclave to vote on the next pope. Some of the frontrunners have been identified. The bad news is only one could win. The good news is if they don’t win the post, they can always form a party-list group.

Lost and Found
A long-lost continent has been found under the Indian Ocean. China is asking where they can claim it.
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“You can’t depend on polls.”
~ Michael Bloomberg

Sound Bites
“Hindi nga ako makapaniwala. Paano ako makakapag comment sa hindi ako makapaniwala?
~Vice President Jejomar Binay on the latest SWS survey

“When UNA was dominating the results of recent surveys, they praise to high heavens and they were celebrating. Now that Team PNoy overtook them, they are protesting and making unfounded innuendos.”
~Team PNOY spokesman Ben Evardone

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.