MACHO, METEOR, MURDER

THE SEASON OF LENT officially started last February 13, Ash Wednesday. Some people are giving up something for Lent. For example, a friend is giving up meat… while Senators Miriam Defensor-Santiago and Panfilo Lacson are giving up ‘peace.’

ml
Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago threatened to expose Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s “sexuality.” But Lacson fired back. Using strong words like “lunatic” and “insanity,” he defended his sexuality saying, “Kung ako bakla, baka wala nang macho sa mundo.” And those guys in the gym were like, “Hindi rin!”

Reacting to Senator Santiago’s “lunatic” insinuation that he’s gay, Sen. Panfilo Lacson said, “I am not gay and I don’t intend to be one.” To which former Senator John Osmeña said, “Harsh!”

According to Senator Lacson, Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago spent a portion of her pork barrel to erect a cockpit in Pasig City. Santiago reacted and questioned Lacson’s interest in her cockpit.

Interviewed by Rappler, senatorial candidate Jamby Madrigal said, “I can feel what Senator Lacson is feeling.” Hashtag ‘Yun na ‘Yun!

A defeated presidential candidate in 2010, Jamby Madrigal says gender is “a non-issue” but admits “There were some not exactly masculine senators way, way in the past.” And former Senate President Maceda said, “O, ba’t naman ako nadamay d’yan?!”

Loveless Loren
For the nth time, Sen. Loren Legarda denied rumors she had an affair with Sen. Edgardo Angara. For the nth time, we’re not convinced.

Loved
A recent Gallup poll showed the Philippines was the world’s ‘leader in love’ with 93 percent of Filipinos “reported feeling love.” The remaining 7 percent was President Aquino.

nancyBiggest Gainer
In the latest Social Weather Stations survey, senatorial aspirant Nancy Binay, described by the Philippine Daily Inquirer as “unqualified” zoomed past seven other candidates to place 4th. The survey had a margin of error of plus or minus Jejomar Binay.

pistorBlade Gunner?
South African Olympian Oscar “Blade Runner” Pistorius was formally charged with murder for allegedly shooting his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp four times in his home in Pretoria on Valentine’s Day. Initial reports say Pistorius mistook her for a burglar. Prosecutors said it was premeditated murder. Atimonan checkpoint police said it was a shootout.

Double amputee Oscar “Blade Runner” Pistorius allegedly shot his girlfriend inside his home in Pretoria, South Africa on Valentine’s Day. The Olympian admitted he was in the house that day. But Juan Ponce Enrile insisted Pistorius wasn’t there.

The annual Academy Awards happens two Mondays from now. I wouldn’t be surprised if presenters would say, “And the Oscar goes to… prison.”

nancy2Meteors!
More than 1,000 people were injured in Central Russia when a meteor exploded in the sky. Or as God would call it… “preview.”

Sarah Palin said she could see the Russia meteor from her house.

A meteor just hit Russia… prompting tabloids to give it a name: ‘Chris Brown.’

Breaking: North Korea admits misfiring rocket; apologizes to Moscow.

A massive meteor exploded over Central Russia. And the Mayans were like, “Told yah!”

A meteor shower that injured a thousand and then an asteroid. Apparently, Pope Benedict XVI’s decision to quit didn’t sit well with God.

And this just in: Meteor fragments gathered by scientists in Russia were found to have traces of horse meat.
—————————————————-
“My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.”
~W. Somerset Maugham

Sound Bites
“We dated but we were very good friends. We went out a couple of times but I think she’s kinda very strong and she’s really a different character.”
~San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito on TV host Kris Aquino

“Kung ako bakla, baka wala nang macho sa mundo.”
~Sen. Panfilo Lacson

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

15 thoughts on “MACHO, METEOR, MURDER”

  1. Very apposite. Nice linkages.

    Shock, horror – a white man charged with murder in south africa

    What did pistorious get for valentines – 20 years

    Intruder theory! – normally you have sex with the beautiful blonde, and shoot the big black guy.

    Pistorious intruder defence! – wont stand up

    Film title of pistorious lifestory being changed to – ‘the quick and the dead’

    Song by – ‘bullet for my valentine’ – “temper,temper”

    “Can’t hold it back
    Here comes my…
    Temper temper, time to explode
    Feels good when I lose control
    Temper temper, time to explode
    Chamber’s empty, time to reload”
    All i wanna do is shoot my load

    Nike called pistorious – “the bullet in the chamber” – ooops

    Like

    1. sir senior60, kung ayos lang po kay sir ph, ako na po ang sasagot, lahat po sila may malaking business na bago pa man sila pumasok sa pulitika, merong may malalaking kompanya na kunwari nakapangalan sa anak, merong may malalaking linya ng transportasyon, real estate, yung iba mga naipon nila sa pagiging ARTISTA at syempre merong may mga HACIENDA…

      yung kita po nila dyan yung ginagamit sa pangangampanya, panunuhol sa mga botante at kung minsan, pambili ng mga baril at bala para sa mga kalaban nila…

      siguro po maitatanong nyo rin, napakalaki pala ng kinikita nila na kahit di sila magtrabaho eh buhay milyonaryo pa rin sila, bakit pa nila kailangang tumakbo?

      yung iba po gustong “matulungan” yung negosyo nila at mga kamag-anak nila, yung iba naman gustong sumikat or muling sumikat dahil hayok sa atensyon, yung iba naman para maging “tungtungan” ang pagiging senador para sa mas mataas na pwesto para maisulat ang kanilang pangalan sa libro ng kasaysayan…

      siguro po nagtataka kayo, nasaan ang kagustuhang maglingkod sa publiko?

      ang tanong pong iyan ay maihahalintulad natin sa katanungang kung ano ang nauna, ang manok o ang itlog, na sa kaso naman pong ito, ano ang nauna, pangangampanya o paglilingkod sa bayan?

      TL;DR?
      may malalaking negosyo po sila ^_^

      Like

      1. ay mali checkmate, ang tanong ko ay uncome ng senado at hindi income ng mga senador…

        kasi yung pinangmumudmud ni enrile sa mga senador ba, di ba sa pondo daw ng senado yun, kaya sabi ko, aba may pera pala ang senado, thus the question ko above…

        anyhow salamat checkmate for taking time out to explain, it is highly appreciated…

        Like

      2. ahh, iyon po pala gusto nyong malaman, kung saan galing ung ipinamumudmod ni enrile, cge po medyo alam ko rin kung san galing yun, drumroll please…

        pararararararam!

        our so-close-yet-so-far, something that we may have spent for more important things, our reason for hating those a-holes, the one and only, our hard-earned TAXES!

        tama po ang nabasa nyo, bale ganito po yun, may taong kumatok sa bahay niyo na di niyo kaano-ano, sinabi niya na kaya niyang baguhin ang takbo ng buhay mo sampu ng mga kapamilya at kapitbahay mo. pinatira mo ung taong ito sa bahay mo, pinakain, dinamitan at binibigyan ng sustento para sa pang-araw-araw niya. pinagkatiwalaan mo ung taong ito na pati ang pera mo siya na rin ang humahawak. ang hindi mo alam ninanakawan ka pa ng hinayupak. ano po kaya sa tingin niyo mararamdaman niyo? siguro naman kahit santo papa mabibigwasan ng mainam ang kumag na yun hehehe

        Like

      3. naloko na, lagi kong pinoproblema mga posts ni libertas, hirap talaga intindihin, hindi naman sa hindi ako naka intindi ng english, and now here comes yours hahaha lalo akong naguguluhan sa example mo, tagalog na tagalog, i mean, ang gulo ng pagka kwento mo kaya if you please, from the top hahaha

        and seriously, taxes? nagbabayad tayo ng taxes sa senado? hindi ko alam yon ah, bakit ako ni minsan hindi nagbayad doon, ano ba

        Like

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