IN A PRIVILEGE SPEECH Monday, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile declared the Senate presidency vacant. But majority of the senators rejected his offer to quit. He retained his post after a vote of 1.6M to 3.

Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile said his critics have “succeeded in placing the Senate under a dark cloud of doubt and suspicion as a house of thieves.” To be fair to the Senate, many people neither doubt, nor suspect it as such.. They’re convinced.

One of Enrile’s staunch critics, Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV says the ouster plot versus Enrile is very much alive. If all else fails, Trillanes plans to walk out of the Senate and hole up at the Manila Peninsula.

According to Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile, there are people who accuse his colleagues in the Senate of pocketing taxpayers’ money. Those people are called correct.

Political analysts say Senate President Enrile’s privilege speech was a “publicity stunt” for his son, Jack, who’s running for senator. To which, Jack Enrile said, “That’s a lie. I am prepared to disprove that any day, any time, on TV, radio, anywhere! Come on, call me! I’m waiting. Call me!”

Miriam High
Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago’s recent blood tests revealed her cholesterol, calcium, uric acid, triglycerides, LDL, and blood urea were all “high.” The only test where she got something “low” was the bar.

Campaign Period
For national candidates, it’s Feb. 12 and for local candidates it’s March 30. I’m talking about the official start of the campaign period – or as UNA and LP senatoriables would say, “What’s that?”

Comelec Chairman Sixto Brillantes says politicians should REMOVE EXCESSIVE ‘epal’ paraphernalia/propaganda materials before the official campaign period. Oh no! Caloocan, Parañaque and Quezon City will be in ruins!

According to Comelec, logos and names of candidates on government vehicles are prohibited. I hope you get that Taguig City Mayor Lani Cayetano.

Sulu Sea Destruction
A United States Navy war ship ran aground and remains stuck on Tubbataha Reef, a protected marine sanctuary. Coral rape.

Obama Inauguration
In 2008, US President Obama promised change. In yesterday’s inauguration, did you notice First Lady Michelle Obama’s new hairdo? Promise fulfilled.

Sasha Obama, the younger daughter of the US President was caught yawning during her father’s inauguration speech. To be fair to Sasha, most Americans have been yawning for four years.

Armstrong Biopic
A movie based on the life of Lance Armstrong is reportedly in the works. Unfortunately, the title “Liar, Liar” had already been used.

Promoting in a showbiz-oriented talk show, stars of the sexy flick ‘Seduction’ said Richard Gutierrez exposed his butt for the very first time in a movie. Interestingly, film reviewers observed that the butt proved to be a better actor than Richard.
“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
~Mark Twain

Sound Bites
“Hindi namimigay si Senator Enrile, kinakantsawan siya ng mga kasamahan niya, ‘May pamasko ba?’ Lagi siyang nangungunang mangantsaw, si Alan [Cayetano]. This year, ang nangantsaw, may dalawang senador, hindi na namin binanggit.”
~Atty. Gigi Reyes, Senator Enrile’s Chief of Staff

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what your Senate President can give you.”
~Not John F. Kennedy

Have a safe and productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

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