I BELIEVE that each person is unique. For example, I like tinola very much. And you’re a corrupt politician. Unique!

Let’s have another example: I’m a typhoon Pablo victim who begged for a kilo of rice for Noche Buena. And you’re a senator who got 1.6 million pesos for Christmas. Unique!

According to the World Giving Index 2012 by British organization Charities Aid Foundation, when it comes to generosity, the Philippines is 17th in the world. At No. 1 is Juan Ponce Enrile.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported Wednesday that Senator Juan Ponce Enrile gave 22 senators a total of almost 30 million pesos last Christmas. The Department of Tourism was right! (It’s) more ‘funds’ in the Philippines!

Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile played Santa last Christmas and gave almost 30 million pesos to his fellow senators. Again, that’s 30 MILLION pesos – or as the Senate President would call it, “foiled coup attempt.”

Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile gave almost 30 million pesos to 22 senators last Christmas. Sought for reaction, the real Santa Claus said, “Hiyang-hiya naman ako sa kanya!”

Last Christmas, Senator Enrile gave 22 senators a total of almost 30 million pesos. Quoted by the Inquirer, a lawmaker described it as “unconstitutional” and “unconscionable.” The lawmaker refused to be identified but the consensus was, “It’s definitely not Lito Lapid.”

Reports say the leader of the group of police that killed 13 people in an alleged “shootout” in Atimonan, Quezon had been involved in several high-profile “shoot outs” leaving no less than 45 people dead. Right now, Superintendent Hansel Manantan has a better shooting record than the Los Angeles Lakers.

Supt. Hansel Marantan is being linked to illegal gambling. He was also involved in controversial operations in which not a single person survived. Or as Manantan would say, “jackpot!”

Police officer Hansel Marantan is being accused of rubout. Senator Panfilo Lacson defended the cop saying, “Instead of demonizing him, he should at least be given the benefit of the doubt.” To which, Marantan said, “Idol!!!”

Terror Teacher
Have you seen the viral video of Narciso Varona, the teacher who was caught verbally and physically attacking his student? It’s a hit.

Montessori Professional College International school teacher Narciso Varona has been dismissed from service after he was caught on cam verbally and physically hitting a female student. Now unemployed, Varona is reportedly applying for a job at Philip Morris.

noyLovelife 2013
According to psychic Danny Atienza, this year, President Aquino will finally meet the woman he’ll definitely fall in love with. When the woman heard the prediction, she went into hiding.

Psychic Danny Atienza described President Aquino’s future girlfriend as “bright,” “of good breeding,” and “really beautiful, really, really beautiful.” In short, “false hope.”
“I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there, it’s so petty.”
~ Imelda Marcos

Sound Bites
“He returned my biscuits, so I returned his cash. You don’t like my biscuit, I also don’t like your money.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago on Senator Enrile’s cash gift of quarter of a million pesos. Prior to that, she gave Enrile a bag of biscuits from Iloilo but the Senate President had it returned

Happy New Year and thank you again Antony Atkinson of Davao. Mabuhay!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo/President Aquino: PCIJ]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

9 thoughts on “BONUS!”

  1. PH super na-sad ako sa example mo..Pablo victims begging for a bag of rice while JPE gave millions of dollars to several senators.. kawawa naman mga Pinoy..:(

    Sana sa next election mas maging wise na botante. Bata pa ko naririnig ko ng sinasabi ng mga nakakatanda “madaming kurakot kaya hindi umuunlad ang Pilipinas” pero hanggang ngayon ganun pa rin sitwasyon sa gobyerno. nakakagalit!


  2. ——————/ ¯/)
    ————— -/—-/
    ——–(‘(———- ¯~/’–‘)
    ————-\———- \ ———RETURN OUR TAXPAYER MONEY..



  3. Average senators income – 40 million pesos a year!! I wouldn’t give lito lapid 40 pesos.- But i would give his wife 40 years for money laundering.(alledgedly). Ultimately the US will do nothing.

    Miriam should fully break the code of silence as her final act in the senate. CoA will do nothing.

    Enrile is good at giving your money away. ( 1 for you, 5 for me). The senate/congress is clearly the biggest money laundering operation in the country. AMLAC will do nothing.

    Send the small thieves to jail, elect the big ones, and get the keystone cops to rubout the rest. P-noy will do nothing.

    It’s a mad, mad, world.


  4. ayan, iboto nyo uli yung mga paborito nyong apelyido ha, tutal kahit matalo eh may consolation prize na sila -_-

    to think na 5k lang ang bonus ng mga public school teachers, tapos galing pa sa tax, naknam grrr

    may ganti rin kami, i-boycott sa balota mga nakinabang pati mga kamag-anak ng mga yan, lantaran na eh


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