MISS USA Olivia Culpo was crowned Miss Universe 2012. Janine Tugonon of the Philippines was first runner-up. If, for any reason, the new Miss Universe fails to fulfill her duties or does not survive the Apocalypse, Miss Philippines will take over.

Miss USA is Miss Universe 2012. If, for any reason, she fails to fulfill her duties, then she must be the president of America.

When Miss USA, Olivia Culpo was declared winner, she was ecstatic. Apparently, she wasn’t informed that her reign ends at 11:59PM on December 20.

Miss Philippines-Universe lost the Miss Universe 2012 title to Miss USA. Tito Sotto is proposing at least 30 amendments to the Miss Universe criteria.

A panel of judges voted for Miss USA. The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines accused the White House of pressuring them.

Miss Philippines-Universe Janine Tugonon was outvoted by Miss USA. Catholic bishops threaten to bring the issue to the Supreme Court.

To be fair to the 2-hour Miss Universe telecast from Las Vegas, Catholic priests totally enjoyed it!

Filipino lawmakers also cheered for Janine Tugonon during the live telecast. All of them believed in her – although Congressman Crispin ‘Boying’ Remulla would have still abstained if he was a judge.

Miss Philippines Janine Tugonon didn’t win the Miss Universe title. The judges picked Miss USA. But Compubox scores showed the Filipina landed more punches than the American.

Janine Tugonon lost the Miss Universe title to Miss USA, Olivia Culpo. Janine dismissed rumors that she recently changed her religion.

Janine Tugonon lost. Can somebody confirm reports that Mitt Romney met with her before the pageant to say good luck?

Miss Venezuela was stunning! When asked, ‘If you could make a new law, what would it be and explain why,” she answered, “Kghtramljuate juatmdofh weksurg ftxiryd surfer. Pjhrygftgrt ertsg dnhuakrta law. Thank you Vegas!” She lost.

Miss China failed to make the cut but Beijing was still proud. The semifinalists wore swimsuits made by Chinese kids in Guangdong.

This year, Donald Trump and the Miss Universe Organization asked the public to tweet a question for the finalists. The top question that wasn’t read on the show was, “If the world’s going to end on Dec. 21, what the hell are you doing here in Las Vegas? Aren’t you supposed to be with your family?”

Donald Trump opened the Miss Universe pageant in a Santa costume. For a moment, I thought the Mayan prophecy has begun.

Miss Philippines lost to Miss USA. And this just in: Bob Arum wants a rematch!
“Nature didn’t need an operation to be beautiful. It just was.”
~Scott Westerfeld, The Uglies Trilogy

TIME magazine picked US President Barack Obama as Person of the Year. I guess the killing of Abu Nazir nailed it for him.

untitledSound Bites
“For me, being Miss Universe is not about knowing how to speak a specific language. It’s about being able to influence and inspire other people. So whatever language you have, as long as your heart is to serve and you have a strong mind to show to people, then you can be Miss Universe.”
~Miss Universe-Philippines Janine Tugonon when asked by pageant judge Nigel Barker if English should be a prerequisite to becoming Miss Universe

Have a safe weekend! Happy Holidays!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Reuters]

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

9 thoughts on “MISSED UNIVERSE”

  1. So close and yet so far.
    Always the mistress, never the bride,
    But the girl done good.(seriously) – and anyone who says otherwise will be declared ‘persona non grata’!

    An opportunity marketing the overpriced trump condos in manila beckons.

    Binay and malacanan have the usual competition in being the first to congratulate anyone who does anything abroad. ( p-noy today even welcoming ofw’s home at NAIA! – there must be an election soon)

    Contestant questions which they should have asked.

    How many times was the name Trump mentioned/shown during the pageant. (to the nearest hundred)?

    Do you find a man who wears a ferret on his head attractive?

    If the world was to end tomorrow how would you spend your last day?

    Do you think americans have destroyed the queens english, in the same way they have ruined anything cultural?


  2. Oh! Mc DONALD had a farm ( Trump Tower in NYC) full of beautiful ducks…. they all quack2x here and they all quack there ….a-i a-i oh! ra ba dump ,dump.dump……and they are all drunk!!!!!!!!!! ….what happened in Vegas , stays in Vegas, more wine pls….what’s wrong with all the Miss Universe judges? are they all are drunken morons?……….Merry Christmas to all and to all a good nite.


  3. Any complaints re miss universe result please forward to p-noy, and he will arrange a power grab.

    Any excuses re miss philippines please file under ‘boring’, ‘repetitive’, ‘nice legs’

    “Winning isn’t everything, but it beats anything that comes in
    Paul Bryant

    “If you can speak three languages you’re trilingual. If you can
    speak two languages you’re bilingual. If you can speak only
    one language you’re an American”. Author Unknown


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