PRESIDENT AQUINO has been sickly of late. He had fever and muscle pains, and allergic rhinitis. Reports say his work sched is taking its toll on his health. Sad. Imagine what would happen if he actually worked.

President Aquino is sick. Some reports say it’s caused by a viral infection. It’s kinda serious. In fact, last Friday, he was forced to cut short his videoke concert.

According to the Philippine Star, despite being diagnosed with influenza and allergic rhinitis over the weekend, President Aquino was “energetic” and “in high spirits” when he showed up at the 21st ASEAN Summit in Cambodia. He’s really a pro. In fact, he promised to do this again for his Filipino fans – for free.

A recent study has shown that humans are losing intellectual capabilities. The study was conducted at the Senate.

You’ve probably heard about the multibillion-peso pyramiding scam in the South. Some greedy guys pocketed even ordinary people’s hard-earned money. Who the hell do you think you are – Congress!?!

Tax on Text Messages
Christine Lagarde, managing director of the International Monetary Fund said imposing tax on text would help the government. But it would also help if she’d shut the f*ck up.

Sotto, Again
The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported that Tito Sotto had hinted that popular former US President John F. Kennedy might have plagiarized a portion of his 1961 inaugural speech. In the interest of fairness, we sought JFK’s reaction. The former US leader said he’s too busy right now so he’ll just ignore Sotto some other time.

Tweet of the Weekend
On Sunday, Nov. 18, DILG Secretary Mar Roxas tweeted: “Sunday siesta” and then posted this photo:

Ano ang iyong reaction o kaya’y mungkahing caption o pamagat sa larawang ito?
A: Totoo ang balita! Ang katabi niya sa pagtulog ay tuta!
B: Every dog has its day.
C: Interspecies intimacy
D: Ang susunod na larawan ay Rated SPG.
E: When Korina is away, the dog will play.

In Entertainment
PEOPLE Magazine has declared Channing Tatum the Sexiest Man Alive for 2012. But Ryan Gosling was leading by 50,000 votes in the partial and unofficial Namfrel quick count.

Channing Tatum was chosen as the Sexiest Man Alive for 2012… although if PEOPLE magazine did a thorough research a Somalian would have probably won the title.

Just Married
Actor Zoren Legaspi surprised long-time partner Carmina Villaroel with a wedding proposal. According to a friend, Carmina was shocked! She didn’t know that Zoren was a wedding planner.

Breaking Dawn 2
The highly-anticipated finalé to the ‘Twilight Saga’ is now showing in cinemas. Not to brag about it but I have NOT seen any of those Twilight movies.

‘Breaking Dawn 2’ is raking in millions of dollars at the tills. I’m so happy for Kristen Stewart. I’m really glad she survived in ‘Panic Room.’

I heard the movie was good. My friends, who came to see it were all praises for the superb acting of Javier Bardem. Ooops, that’s a different movie.

Based on initial reviews from critics, ‘Breaking Dawn 2’ is definitely the best of the ‘Paranormal Activity’ movies.

In a related story, the hit horror flick, ‘Paranormal Activity 5’ is coming soon in theaters. In ‘Paranormal Activity 5,’ everything went back to normal. Now, that’ll scare the viewers.
Government Warning: Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.
~Tobacco packaging warning as mandated by Philippine law

Quote of the Day
“Sabi ko I want you to apologize to me in front of everybody sa LRT.”
~La Consolacion College student Paula Jamie Salvosa telling her side of the #Amalayer incident to TV5

WE’VE heard both sides. Can we now please educate our youth? It’s LIAR not LIER. Thank you!

Have a safe and productive week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

15 thoughts on “SO SICK”

  1. ang isang addicted na sa sigarilyo, kagaya ni noynoy ay hindi natatakot sa ano mang epecto ng sigarilyo sa kanilang katawan, kahit pa takutin mo ng mga bad pictures as a result of smoking, kahit pa sabihan na magka cancer of the lungs sila, kahit pa magmahal ang presyo ng sigarilyo

    ano ang makakapagpahinto sa kanila? kung may actual cancer na sila


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