ALL SAINTS’ DAY is coming up. For three years now, a friend has been winning the Scariest Costume Award. In previous Halloween parties, he came as an axe murderer, Frankenstein, and Nosferatu. This year, he plans to come as the Cybercrime Law.

The local government of Quezon City is holding its annual Halloween party. Quezon City Councilor Roderick Paulate will come as a ghost employee.

In Sarangani, vice gubernatorial bet Jinkee Pacquiao is also keen on winning an award. She plans to come wearing her original face.

Congressional candidate Aga Muhlach faces a tough challenge this Halloween. Liberal Party stalwarts want him to dress up as a Bicolano.

Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno is planning a costume party for the magistrates and Supreme Court employees next week. When senior justices heard this, they agreed to come as ‘invisible men.’

Halloween is supposed to be the scariest day of the year… unless you’re Manny Pacquiao, then it’s December 8.

Last year, a bunch of kids in expensive costumes accessorized with bling-blings and jewelry went trick-or-treating. Asked if they were dressed up as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s kids, they replied, “Nope. We’re marginalized party-list representatives.”

This Halloween, my friends and I plan to go trick-or-treating too. Our first stop: the Aquino sisters’ homes. But we want cash not candies so we’ll probably be dressed up as Akbayan leaders.

Noynoy and Risa
An ABS-CBNNews.com report says President Aquino is being linked to Akbayan Representative Risa Hontiveros. This early, Anakbayan members are thinking of ways to disrupt the wedding.

Apparently, there have been rumors romantically linking President Aquino to Akbayan senatorial candidate Risa Hontiveros. Tale as old as time…

Under Fire
In Manila, a burly and angry customer identified as John Paul Encinas attacked a restaurant cashier last Monday. When the CCTV footage of the incident was shown on TV, Philip Morris Philippines immediately issued a statement denying that Encinas was their employee.

Rumors say Fidel Castro is losing his fight against cancer. To disprove the rumor, Castro made a public appearance, then on live TV, ordered the immediate arrest, detention, torture and execution of cancer.

For the first time in years, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro made a public appearance in Havana disproving and laughing off rumors he has died or is dying of cancer. I’m sorry Mr. Castro but soon, you’ll die. You cannot live forever. You’re not Juan Ponce Enrile.

Virgin, Anyone?
Catarina Migliorini, a Brazilian student auctioned off her virginity for $780,000. The winning bidder was a Japanese man – which means, Catarina would remain a virgin even after sex.
“Everyone is a moon and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody.”
~Mark Twain

Quote of the Day
“I don’t think our people will be mad at me. I think they will be mad at those pretending to be ill.”
~President Aquino on his wheelchair joke

Happy weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

12 thoughts on “SPOOKY”

  1. Pumpkin pie.

    Who ate all the pumpkin pies,
    The burgers and the fries?

    ‘I’m not at fault’,
    Mumbled a.big.fail valte.

    ‘I’m just naturally this size’!
    Added the Queen of all lies

    ‘Now don’t be so rude,
    And just pass me more food’

    But however hard she tries
    She can’t hide those thighs.

    Who ate all the pies?
    Epicfail wins the prize

    The moral of this tale,
    Listen carefully, abigail

    We are fed up with the endless spin
    Honesty, and integrity will win

    So truth must be the diet.
    Get real, and just try it.

    Less 3rd world autocracy,
    More 1st world democracy.


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