PUNCHING BAG

FIRST, SOME GOOD NEWS. The government has signed a historic peace pact with the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. The Arroyos could only wish they were the MILF.


The peace accord was the good news. And in better news, Ralph Recto has resigned irrevocably as chairman of the Senate ways and means committee.

In a privilege speech last week, Senator Ralph Recto described his version of the sin tax bill as “reasonable, realistic and responsible.” Or as tobacco companies would call it, “Awesome!”

After getting flak for his “watered down” version of the sin tax bill, Sen. Ralph Recto said he had become the “national punching bag of the week.” Recto was supposed to describe himself as the “whipping boy” but he feared Tito Sotto would accuse him of plagiarism.

In another privilege speech Monday, Ralph Recto claimed he had become the “national punching bag of the week.” Tito Sotto had also complained of being the favorite “whipping boy.” On behalf of millions of Filipinos who are mired in poverty and who have not eaten a decent meal in months, we would like to apologize to Senators Sotto and Recto. Hiyang-hiya naman kami sa inyo. Aping-api na pala kayo. Patawad po.

Last week, Tito Sotto was quoted to have said that he’s so tired and stressed he might just resign as majority floor leader. And Nike was like, “Just do it!”

More Good News
The Commission on Elections has disqualified 22 more party-list organizations including two groups with incumbent representatives in the Lower House simply because they do NOT represent marginalized sectors. The disqualification was slammed by the groups’ leaders who vowed to rally their constituents – as soon as they find one.

Ex-Allies Fight
Did you hear the news? Akbayan and Anakbayan supporters had a scuffle earlier today. At one point, the shouting match turned violent… prompting the Malaysian Prime Minister to intervene.

Senatorial Bets
The Comelec has approved the candidacy of at least 27 out of 84 senatorial hopefuls. The rest may resume their jobs in the circus.

VP to Vatican
President Aquino picked Vice President Binay to represent him in Vatican City for the canonization of Blessed Pedro Calungsod. Binay accepted the assignment to the Holy See to, once and for all disprove rumors he’s a ‘maligno.’

Handwashing Day
The Global Handwashing Day was observed Monday, October 15… although senators who passed the Cybercrime Law have been doing that for the past three weeks.

Lucy Liu
On ‘The Late Night Show With David Letterman,’ Hollywood actress Lucy Liu said she preferred running indoors than outdoors because, “If I get really dark, I’ll start to look a little Filipino.” Apparently, Liu doesn’t want to look like Filipino… to which many Filipinos reacted, “Kami rin.”

Hot Planet
Astronomers have discovered a planet with four suns. But that’s really nothing compared to Korea, which has thousands.
———————————————–
“Cigarettes are a classy way to commit suicide.”
~Kurt Vonnegut

Quote of the Day
“But this framework agreement, no matter how we object to it, in my opinion is a blessing in disguise to us. This would lead to the demise of the MILF – 17,000 of their armed forces have shifted loyalty to us and many more are coming back to us. None of them will be left. It is like a sinking ship.”
~Moro National Liberation Front Chairman Nur Misuari on the MILF-GRP peace accord

Have a peaceful week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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Author: professionalheckler

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11 thoughts on “PUNCHING BAG”

  1. ano ba namang kaplastikan ang pinagsasabi na kaya mamahalan ang presyo ng sigarilyo ay upang ma discourage na manigarilyo mga tao, para hindi na sila magkasakit, papaano na maabot ang target na 60 billion kung iilan na lang ang bibili, ang sabihin, gusto lang ng gobierno na magkapera period

    Like

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