THE EPAL QUIZ III

IT’S FULFILLING to hear that politicians are responding ‘positively’ to the anti-epal campaign of groups like Epal Watch, Tao Po, and of course, the vigilant public.

Last week, President Aquino ordered the removal of streamers, banners, posters and billboards bearing his and his allies’ huge faces. Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim followed suit. TESDA Secretary-General Joel Villanueva has also appealed to his supporters to take down billboards with his image. Even Valenzuela City Mayor Sherwin Gatchalian and Quezon City Mayor Herbert Bautista have acted on the complaints.


“Kung gusto, may paraan; kung ayaw, maraming dahilan.’ Indeed.

With that, I present to you the third installment of our series of ‘epal’ tests: Epal Quiz III. Good luck and have fun!


1: Nakakalimutan ang magandang intensyon kung may mukhang ginagamit na tila dekorasyon. Titigan ang billboard. Ano raw ang paalala?
A: Mag-ingat daw tayo sa dalawang lalaki sa larawan. Sila ang mga lider ng ‘Basag-Kotse’ Gang!
B: Para ‘di mo solo ang batikos ng publiko, mag-2-in-1 billboard na lang tayo!
C: Kahit gaano ka kabata ngayon, makakalbo ka rin pagdating ng panahon!


2: Ano ang masasabi mo sa mataas at makintab na pangalan ni Mayor sa sementadong ‘Welcome’ sign?
A: Bongga!
B: Waley!
C: Kaloka!


3: Ayon sa larawan, gaano raw kalaki ang itatayong gusali?
A: Kasinlaki ng larawan ng kongresista!
B: I’m not sure pero parang mas malaki at mas mahaba pa rin ang pangalan ni Congressman Boyet Gonzales
C: Gaano kalaki?? Ayun o, nasa tarp: 4-storey, 8-classroom, 1 reelectionist


4: Kung ikaw ang residente ng barangay na ito sa District I, Quezon City, ano ang magiging reaksyon mo kapag nabasa mo sa streamer: “Welcome to the Covered Court of Brgy. Masambong?”
A: “Anong palagay n’yo sa ‘kin, bulag? Sa tingin n’yo, ‘di ko alam na covered court ‘yan? Kailangan talagang sabihin?!?”
B: “Ok sana ang covered court. Pero mas ok kung covered ang faces nila.”
C: “So nag-donate kayong dalawa ng pondo para itayo ang covered court?? Kayo talaga ang gumastos at hindi ang taumbayan? Hiyang-hiya naman kami sa inyo.”


5: Ano kaya ang sinasabi ng butihing alkalde ng Caloocan City?
A: “Baka sabihin n’yo, namumulitika ako. Bakit? Nakakaboto ba ang aso?”
B: “Masyadong maliit ang pangalan ko, right? Hindi n’yo mabasa nang maayos, tama? Sige, gagawan natin ng paraan!”
C: (Note: A la-Nora Aunor) “Mga hayuuup! Pumayag akong magpa-picture dahil sabi n’yo for press release, hindi pang-epal quiz! Aw-aw-awww!”


6: Anong konklusyon ang mabubuo mo batay sa nakasulat sa tarpaulin na ‘to?
A: Hindi aasenso ang Distrito Uno kung supot ang mga lalaki rito.
B: Kung “Free Tule” ang kanyang mission, ano kaya ang kanyang vision? (Ang susunod na palabas ay Rated SPG)
C: Sa buhok pa lang at ngiti ni Konsehala, kahit tuli ka na, magpapatuli ka pa!


7: Wala na akong masabi sa councilor na ito ng QC. Kung makakasalubong mo siya, ano ang una mong itatanong?
A: “Ano ho ba ang kasalanan sa ‘yo ng gate? Bakit mo idinadamay?”
B: “Saan po kayo mas talented: sa pagiging epal o sa pagiging literal? Candy talaga ang logo?”
C: “Kung buhay pa ang taong nasa likod ng brilliant ideyang ito… bakit?”


8: Matapos pagmasdan ang malaking karatula, ano ang nais mong iparating sa gobernador ng Quezon?
A: “Sir, mawalang-galang na po. Alin ho ba ang ventilation system d’yan: ‘yong green o ‘yong gray?”
B: “Alam n’yo Gov, may something in common ang karatulang ito at ang project ninyo: mahangin.”
C: “Sige nga po, patunayan n’yo ngang umaandar ‘yan. Pumasok nga kayo sa loob…”


9: Mula sa Lungsod ng Pasay… What the hell is this?
A: Tayong Dalawa: Ang pelikulang nangahas sumabay sa showing ng ‘The Mistress’ nina John Lloyd at Bea!
B: ‘Buti na lang libre ang konsultasyon, at may libreng gamot na ipamimigay. Nasusuka kasi ako sa tarp n’yo eh!
C: Si lalaki: “Naglilingkod ng tapat” Si babae: “Nais maglingkod sa inyo… ” – Buhay na buhay pa, nagpaparamdam na!


10. Basahing mabuti ang bawat salitang nakasulat sa pader. Ano ang masasabi mo?
A: ‘Yan ba ang bagong definition ng beautification? Nakabalandra ang higanteng pangalan nina Governor at Mayor!?
B: Bago kayo umepal, alamin n’yo muna ang tamang spelling ng boulevard! Kung maka-boulibard naman kayo! Wrong spelling wrong!
C: Alin kaya ang mas mahaba, ‘yong boulibard o ‘yong pangalan ni Gov?

LET’S DO IT! Kung meron din kayong ‘candy o ‘boulibard’ epal photos, you may email me at epaliticians@yahoo.com. If someone else took the photos, please indicate the source. Thank you! (All together now… “Never knew that it would go so far / When you left me on that boulibard”

Quote of the Day
“I would rather be called epal than [be told that I’m] not doing my job.”
~TESDA Director General Joel Villanueva

Puno’s Out
Reports say embattled DILG Undersecretary Rico E. Puno is on the way out. That’s one small step for Mar, one giant leap for Balay.

Asked about the allegation that his good friend and shooting buddy Rico E. Puno could have been involved in an anomalous arms deal, President Aquino said, “There’s always the presumption of innocence until proven otherwise.” To which Renato Corona said, “Presumption of innocence your face!”

Premature
Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago is filing a bill against premature campaigning. And LP senatoriables were like, “O, bakit ang sama ng tingin n’yo sa amin?”

——————
“What kills the skunk is the publicity it gives itself.”
~Abraham Lincoln

Have a safe and productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

For the images used here, thank you so much:
Epal Watch, NoMoreEpal (FB), @bloggermom, @vtlazatin, @ninaterol, @marie_flor, @paulopadi, @Simply_Clinton, Boy Pinoy, Oliver Ocampo, Donna Azaña, and Arnel Aransanzo.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

53 thoughts on “THE EPAL QUIZ III”

  1. epal – power to the people.

    Punogate
    Even a trainee cop could spot more holes in the p-noy/de lima cover up story than in a piece of swiss emmental cheese.

    FG Puno starting to make FG arroyo look good.

    The ‘blood brothers’ of hacienda luisita protecting each other.

    Putting a corrupt arms dealer in charge of a billion peso contract is like leaving an alcoholic in charge of a bar.

    Bet Mar Roxas wont let Puno organise his air travel

    Like

  2. “Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise,
    terror, sabotage, assassination”
    Adolf Hitler

    Add misinformation, a code of silence, and dishonor amongst thieves and journalists, and you can make the people think black is white, dark men are evil spirits, and secrecy is transparency.

    sieg heil

    Like

  3. Great reminders! for “Epal Politicians” and the like.. do your job as a public servant not a publicity cum celebrity campaign on your part! Kudos for this brilliant tweets to spell the difference of “May Pakialam ka at may magagawa ka sa Ikabubuti ng lahat sa atin–sa Pilipinas Kong Mahal..!:)

    Like

  4. Grandfathers day yesterday.
    My grandfather was fighting against hitler whilst aquino’s grandfather was commiting treason by helping the japanese.
    No wonder this is deleted from the brand image.
    And no wonder the real family values are a self created myth.
    Straight path. Bent as a corkscrew.

    Like

  5. Just discovered the UK Government/ ministry of defence banned, and punished, IMI – puno’s chosen arms supplier – for gross contract violation and corruption. Ref. UK Daily Mail.

    This is a can of worms.
    No wonder they are trying so hard to keep the lid on it.

    i hope santiago’s research is more thorough than sottos. its all there for those who want the truth

    Like

      1. yes libertas slight haha

        i already admitted that i don’t buy newspaper anymore and i am not good at goggling but anyway i will try to get hold of that issue and whenever that will be i will either say sorry for insinuating or you really lied

        you can’t fault me because i haven’t heard that news in 24 oras or maybe i was absent when that was broadcasted hehe

        in the meantime, peace

        Like

  6. Bahay Toro? Operation Tuli? Talaga namang fertile ground para sa mga kagaya mo, he he he.

    A: Hindi aasenso ang Distrito Uno kung supot ang mga lalaki rito.
    B: Kung “Free Tule” ang kanyang mission, ano kaya ang kanyang vision? (Ang susunod na palabas ay Rated SPG)
    C: Sa buhok pa lang at ngiti ni Konsehala, kahit tuli ka na, magpapatuli ka pa!

    Walang itulak-kabigin!

    Like

  7. what the HECK…. you really are a PRO! sinner or saint? to the people, you are heaven sent, to the politicians…. they are finding ways to send you to hell!!! through your humble works, people realized that the mathematical equation POLITICS = SHOWBIZ is true! keep up the good work, may you be bless w/ more wisdom and quick reflexes to dodge blazing bullets!

    Like

  8. Again, part 3, todo na to!
    1) A, [Beware of two guys for being EPAL, reward: a boot from getting reelected.]
    2) B, [The response says so.]
    3) C, [Specification and technicality at it’s best.]
    4) A or C [It’s all in a common sense.]
    5) A
    6) B
    7) C
    8) A
    9) B
    10) B

    * * * * * * * * * *
    It’s about damn right to give DILG USec. Puno a boot. “Usec, you’re no Jesse Robredo!”

    * * * * * * * * * *
    I humbly apologize to the original and real Libertas, the star and Mensa commenter of this WordPress.

    Like

  9. 6. habang lumalaon, ang pangalan ng mga barangay ay nagiging mga
    walang kwenta

    10. hanggang ngayon, nandyan pa yan mula sa kapanahunan ni cory?

    tungkol sa mga spellingspelling na yan, kadalasan talaga nangyayari
    at yan ay kasalanan na ng mga taga print/gawa at kung bakit kasi hindi
    ipa correct

    Like

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