THE EPAL QUIZ II

“The truth is, attention seekers are looking for validation. They want to know that they are worthy.”
~Author Unknown


1: Ayon sa larawan, may ‘Good News’ daw mula sa Kongreso! Question: Ano ‘yon?
A: Pinapayagan nang idisplay ang mukha ng chief of staff sa billboards at tarps
B: Hindi lang pagpapalawak ng kalye ang allowed; pagpapalawak rin ng papel
C: Extended hanggang Book 5 ang ‘Walang Hanggan’ ni Goma.


2: Question: Anong tanong ang unang pumasok sa iyong isip nang makita mo ang larawang ito?
A: Libreng scholarship, libreng training, libreng pagpapagamot, at libreng Mercury Drug?!? Namimigay na pala ngayon ng drug store sa Quezon City??
B: Wala bang nararamdaman ni katiting na hiya ang mga Castelo kapag nakikita nila ang kanilang mukha at pangalan sa kabi-kabilang billboard?
C: Wala. ‘Yan ang sagot sa B. Final answer.


3: It’s Passporting Day! Libreng passport! Wow. Question: Ano ang relevance ng higanteng larawan ng kongresista sa proyekto?
A: That’s her passport to a fresh term in Congress.
B: Kung wala ang larawan niya, ulap lang ang makikita. Sayang ang space.
C: Wala kang karapatang kwestyunin si Congresswoman. Apat na oras ‘yan sa parlor. So pleease… appreciate naman the effort.


4: Ang larawang ito ay kuha malapit sa Basilica Minore De Peñafrancia sa Naga City. Question: Kailangan ba talagang naka-imprenta lagi ang pangalan ni Joel Villanueva sa lahat ng tarps ng TESDA?
A: Natural! Alangan namang pangalan mo ang ilagay! Sino ka ba? ‘Di ka naman senatoriable. Siyempre, pangalan niya!
B: Luke 23:34 Ama, patawarin mo siya sapagkat hindi niya nalalaman ang kaniyang ginagawa.
C: Kung makareklamo naman kayo, daig n’yo pa ang presidente! Kung si Pangulong Aquino nga, tinu-tolerate siya, who are you to complain?


5: Question: Kung bibigyan ka ng pagkakataong magtanong kay Manila Councilor Ramon Morales, ano ang itatanong mo?
A: Konsehal, pera n’yo ba ang ipinambili sa firetuck?
B: Hindi ba na-insecure si Mayor Lim dahil mas maliit ang kanyang pangalan?
C: Kung aalisin ba ang pangalan n’yo sa firetruck, hindi ba ito tatakbo?


6: Question: Anong ibig sabihin nito?
A: Move over Sinandomeng, Wagwag, at Milagrosa. Heto na ang bagong variety, ‘Jonvic Remulla.’ Yum! Yum! Yum!
B: Kapag ang palay naging bigas, may bumayo… pulitiko!
C: Kung nabubuwisit ka sa label, eh ‘di ‘wag mong tanggapin! You have a choice: prinsipyo o pagkain?


7: Question: May mas gagarapal pa ba sa supposedly registration notice na ito sa Baclaran?
A: Meron. ‘Yong mukha ng wannabe congressman.
B: Hindi ko na problema ‘yan. Hindi ako taga-Baclaran!
C: Ayaw ni Winnie Castelo ng ganyan. He hates competition.


8: Sabi ng alkalde: Linisin Ikarangal ang Maynila. Anong sagot mo sa kanya?
A: You first!
B: O, anong kaepalan ‘to Mayor? Tanggalin mo na ‘yan.
C: O, gabi na. Bakit nand’yan pa rin ang mukha mo mayor?


9: Question: Anong masasabi mo sa proyektong ito ni Laguna Rep. Ivy Arago?
A: Why not? Ilang pares na boto rin ‘yan ‘noh! Sayang.
B: Para-paraan.
C: Mapapalampas ko na sana eh, kaya lang biglang nag- “I’ll VY With You Forever” Naknampoodle. Ang korni mo! ‘Kainis!


10: Question: Anong angkop na pamagat sa larawang ito?
A: Posteng yawa!
B: Here lies… Councilor Vincent Belmonte
C: Singkapal ng bato, sing-epal ng isang blokeng semento!

For a chance to win happiness, expose these EPAL politicians! Tama na, sobra na, tigilan na! No to EPALiticians!

In Other News
On Twitter, Camarines Sur Governor LRay Villafuerte’s son JULIO wondered if the late DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo had any major accomplishments. After a barrage of criticisms, Julio tweeted an apology – making it his first major accomplishment in life thus far.

New DILG Chief
President Aquino is being pressured to immediately appoint a new DILG Secretary to replace the late Jesse Robredo. The President is reportedly left with only two choices: Balay and Samar.

Harry in Trouble
Apparently, there’s a Prince Harry naked video somewhere. And Vicki Belo was like, “Don’t look at me.”

Quotes of the Weak
“Been reading Jess Robredo tweets for weeks now. Someone please inform me of any major accomplishments Jess has done, coz I don’t know any.”
~Julio Villafuerte, son of Camarines Sur Governor LRay Villafuerte and grandson of Rep. Luis R. Villafuerte, Sr. (via Twitter)

Holes
NASA’s Mars Curiosity rover reportedly dug a deep hole. Unfortunately, that was nothing compared to the hole Tito Sotto dug for himself.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

————————–
For the images used in the Epal Quiz II, thank you so much:
Epal Watch, No More Epal FB Page, Support the Anti-Epal Bill FB Page, Mary Jane Cruz, Reyfrancis Cosico, Wiggi Sanarez, @BenTCinco, @JannsMed, @mendozil, @dkarlocastro, and @mlsmedina.

Advertisements

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

55 thoughts on “THE EPAL QUIZ II”

  1. Sa Caloocan City (especially doon sa kahabaan ng Kabatuhan Road sa Deparo), nakaukit ang yellow smiley emoticon with bigote ni Mayor Echiverri sa mga bangketa, hehe. I don’t have the pic to show you pero I guess andoon pa yun kasi natapos ang road construction just before election 2010. Kung hindi pa nasira ang mga kalsada, mapicturan nga pag-uwi ko ng ma-ishare;) Just after Typhoon Ondoy in 2009 (syempre before election 2010), namigay sa barangay para sa mga nasalanta at para maalalang handog iyon ng mapagmalasakit na local government, naroroon sa bawat plastic ng relief goods ang picture ng sino pa? Syempre, ng butihing Mayor ng Caloocan…what a relief!

    Like

  2. please lang, kayong marunong magcrop sa computer, please do this…lahat ng mga poilikong gumamit ng tarp na may larawan ni sec jesse, puede bang ilagay nyo yung pix ng politikong epal sa pix ni sec jesse… at ilagay ang mga salitang…thank you, goodbye, paalam…. para mamaalam na sila sa mga constituents nila…please lang!

    Like

      1. ah bata at telly, ang pinaguusapan natin dito ay buong pilipinas ha at hindi naga lang, at tsaka “major” accomplishments, at sige nga, one major accomplishment lang for the entire philippines at baka nga hindi ko nabasa dahil wala talaga kaming dyaryo, am relying only sa computer, news sa 7 at tsaka dito kay mister heckler

        Like

  3. Tito sotto’s speech decrying himself a victim of cyber bullying misses the point.technically he/villacorta plagiarized,wag nang magpalusot,sa wanbol university Lang uubra ang ganyang reasoning.the right thing to do is apologize to the blog owner and hope she accepts.if you cannot be honest with small things I dread what you can be capable of.

    Like

  4. Sagutin ko na lang with side comments, as usual:
    1. C [P-Noy: NO PORK BARRELS FOR YOU! (Seinfeld reference)]
    2. B [Libreng Mercury Drug, ah? Malulugi na ba si Mariano Que?]
    3. A [Bureaucracy from a solon, *rolls eyes*, oh, please!]
    4. B [Lord, sana patawarin si Sec. Joel, hindi niya alam ang ginagawa niya.]
    5. C [Kung maliit ang pangalan ng alkalde, siguro, kakaunti lang ang takbo ng trak. Mwahaha!]
    6. A [Ang alternative rice, approved by DOST and Department of Agriculture… NOT.]
    7. C [In your FACE, no further explanation necessary.]
    8. B [Uh, kailangan i-explain ko ulit?]
    9. C [Corny motto, hindi crunchy ang solusyon.]
    10. C [Please quit fooling and get back to work, ika nga, magiging kang commercial ng semento pagkatapos ng termino ninyo.]

    * * * * * * * * * *

    Send the epals to Mars and bury in the hole created by the Curiosity rover!
    (Libertas can kill my comment, brrrrr!!!)

    * * * * * * * * * *

    Like

  5. I fervently wish or even hope that *Atty Leni* would run as Congresswoman or Governor in CamSur (where Naga is one of its major cities) so that those shady Villafuerte clan would be now easily eliminated; remember it was the old Villafuerte who keeps on blocking J. Robredo (fr. the lower Congress) from its confirmation. And his son, Elray is the one whos pursuing (& obviously promising something financially rewarding) to former matinee idol & now jobhunting Manila-born actor Aga Muhlach to run as Congressman in CamSur – imagine that?! Likewise w/ this Julio boy… his twit/s were stupidly clueless & w/ malice.

    Like

  6. di ko kinaya yung number 7, malala! o.O. at dahil gusto ko manalo ng happiness, I’ll pay more attention sa mga nakapaskil sa mga dinadaanan ko. I’m sure may epal din akong pede i-expose 😀

    but in fairness, tinanggal na yung pangalan ng congressman ng Makati sa service vehicle ng nanay ko ha…

    Like

  7. Please keep these Epal Quizzes going to keep people informed. And anyway, love the humor, too. 🙂 I’m sure that there would be no problem finding new material and examples (sadly) for an ongoing series of Epal Quizzes. Para at least, kung ayaw ang mga politiko na sumunod sa batas, daanin na lang natin sa pagpapakita na alam natin na mali ang ginagawa nila (at na hindi tayo tatahimik na lang kahit na mali ang ginagawa nila).
    Sabi nga ni Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for evil to triumph in this
    world is for good men to do nothing.”

    FYI, Mayor Lim has ordered to have posters with his pictures removed (http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/metro-manila/09/02/12/lim-orders-removal-banners-bearing-his-face). At least, kahit papaano, tumatalab, di ba?

    Like

  8. Sa Binan at Sta. Rosa – Ma E-pal ang mga mayors at ang actor-turned-congressman na si Dan Fernandez. Biruin mo, sa pagpapagawa ng isang parke, may “DF” na markings sa bakod ng parke – aakalain mo na may ibinurol doon at initial niya iyon, hahaha! Meron pa, sa mga takip ng imburnal (how appropriate) doon sa Balibago, Binan, at kung saan-saan pa, diyan sa 1st district ng Laguna, halos lahat ng mga bagong takip may initial na “DF”.

    Like

Say something...

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s