THE EPAL QUIZ

“There are so many attention whores out there, prostituting for people’s acknowledgment.”
~Jason Myers, The Mission


1: Question: Bakit sila nag-‘Thank You’ kay Sec. Jesse?
A: Sayang kasi ang ex-deal sa tarp supplier; expiring na on August 31. At least nagamit.
B: Hindi rin nila alam. In fact, ‘di nila nabasa ‘yon. Ang chineck lang nila kung tama ang spelling ng kanilang mga pangalan.
C: Nagpa-Thank You lang, epal na? ‘Di ba pwedeng sad muna?


2: Question: Ano ang kuneksyon ng LPG at gas sa konsehal na nasa larawan?
A: ‘Yan din ang tanong namin.
B: Kung hindi krimen ang sumunog ng kapwa, siya ang uunahin.
C: Wala lang. Bakit? Dapat ba laging may kuneksyon? Hindi naman ah. ‘Wag nga kayong mapanghusga.


3: Titigan ang larawan. ‘Yan ang ex-boyfriend ni Aiko Melendez na boyfriend ngayon ni Ara Mina. Mayor siya ng Bulacan, Bulacan. Question: Senior citizen na ba si Patrick Meneses?
A: Sa totoo lang, secret ‘yan eh. Siya ang kauna-unahang Benjamin Button case sa Asya. He turned 78 this year. Sssh. Secret lang huh.
B: Bata pa s’ya. Mahusay lang na writer kaya siya ang naatasang mag-draft ng Senior Citizen Handbook sa buong Pilipinas.
C: I’m not sure. Pero ‘yong pose na ‘yan, parang nagsusumigaw: “Hoooooy! Gusto ko ng second term!”


4: Question: Ito ay nakunan sa Mapagkumbaba Street in Sikatuna Village, Quezon City. Ano ang ibig sabihin ng kaepalang HB sa kalye?
A: Harlene Bautista
B: Hero Bautista
C: Kung kilala mo sina Hero at Harlene, matanda ka na!


5: Question: Ano ang title ng book na ipinamamahagi ni konsehala?
A: “Candys Be Love?”
B: “Papansin 101: Paano Manalo sa Reelection Bid”
C: “Ang Gandaaa, Ang Dulaaaas, Ang Lambot… Parang Hinot-oil”


6: Question: Kung aalisin mo ang acronym na ‘TESDA’ sa slogang Sa TESDA, may choice ka, at papalitan ng ibang word o words, ano ang angkop na kapalit?
A: 2013. “Sa 2013, may choice ka!”
B: Balota. “Sa Balota, may choice ka!”
C: Relief Operations. “Sa Relief Operations, may choice ka!”


7: Question: Anong tanong ang nabuo sa iyong isipan matapos mong makita ang larawan?
A: Kung taxes namin ‘yan, bakit mukha n’yo ang nakabalandra?
B: May kumita kaya sa construction ng priority project na ‘yan?
C: Sa lalawigan ba ng Bataan, iisa ang apelyido ng mga residente?


8: Question: Kailangan ba talagang ‘yong mukha ng congressman ay nasa bag ng estudyante?!?
A: Libre ‘yan. ‘Wag nang choosy.
B: Oo naman. And take note of the word PAG ASA. In place of a hyphen, may malabong letter B. i wonder what it means. Clue naman d’yan!
C: Baka naman galing sa sariling bulsa ang ipinambili ng bag. Hayaan n’yo na. Kayo talaga, ang dumi ng isip!


9: Question: Anong kaguluhan ito?
A: Wala naman. Gusto lang i-emphasize na mayora siya.
B: Why not? That police car was acquired through the initiative of the hardworking mayor.
C: Kanya-kanyang trip ‘yan. Kung naiinggit ka, bumili ka ng sarili mong police car at palagyan mo ng iyong pangalan!


10: Question: Anong kasalanan ng mga taga-Quezon City at pinaparusahan sila ng ganito ng kanilang mga lider?
A: Parusa ba ‘yan? Excuse me, it just goes to prove na ‘It’s more fun in Kyusi!’
B: ‘Wag kang makialam kung ‘di ka taga-QC. Ibinoto ko, problema ko, sagot ko.
C: Ang cute nga eh! Parang ‘The Avengers.’ Ang hindi ko lang talaga ma-take eh ‘yong bangs ni Winnie Castelo. Sumpa ba ito?

Send your answers to your local government executives with the message: HUWAG TULARAN. DON’T BE EPAL. Good luck!

In Other News
President Aquino has chosen Maria Lourdes Sereno as the new Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. When Renato Corona heard the news, he texted a smiley to Antonio Carpio.

Reports say Supreme Court Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno will serve until 2030. And the Mayans were like, “Wehhh?”

RIP Neil Armstrong
Here’s a sad news: Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon has died at the age of 82. Many people were shocked… mostly because they didn’t know he’s still alive.

Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon has died. But reports say the second moonwalker is still alive. Really?! Michael Jackson’s not dead?!? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Neil Armstrong died a day after the death of Lance Armstrong’s career.

Neil Armstrong is dead. May he rest in space.

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

For the images used in the Epal Quiz, thank you to the following:
Noemi Lardizabal-Dado, Epal Watch, Anti-Epal Facebook Page, Support the Anti-Epal Bill FB Page, @philippinebeat @chriscrosspoint, @jimparedes, @saleemarefran, Interaksyon.Com, @kingdelresosario, Wenchie318, Showbiz Government, TaoPo.Org and Menchie Silvestre.

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

56 thoughts on “THE EPAL QUIZ”

  1. Vote out all the epals. Epal, Kapal, K*pal….it doesnt make me wonder why these rhyme…it is high time that technocrats be appointed as TESDA director general-from Liban to Syjuco to Joel, what’s-the-guy’s-familyname lahat pinopoliticize ang TESDA. The middlelevel manpower developmen sector has suffered enough!

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  2. I saw one back in March na nagpataas ng BP ko. The mayor of a town in Pangasinan donated ribbons for the graduating and outstanding students, kaso, the ribbon has his face and name on it. Nung ako estudyante, dinidisplay pa namin ung mga ribbons na naaachieve namin, mapa-“most” awards plus the “honors” ribbon, pero ngayon, paano mo ididisplay yung achievement ng anak mo kung mukha naman ng pulitiko ung nandoon? Define Epal.

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  3. Picture number 10: Puede ba silang kasuhan ng copyright infringement ng Marvel at DC? Or puede bang excuse yung cosplayers lang silang lahat?
    Which brings me to my next question–sinong superhero si Candy Medina? I’m confused. At bakit kailangan pa talagang sabihin na Working Congressman si Winnie Castelo? Does that mean yung ibang congressman, hindi working? Hmmm…..

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  4. dear profheckler

    meron kaming ( ako at ang anak ko) nakitang mga tarp sa bandang maginhawa st, QC..meron syang litrato ng smiling face ng barangay kap ng teacher’s village, bautista ang pangalan and another smiling face…tapos nakalagay parang ganito: ” bukas-kotse, mag ingat ” . etong tarp na ito talagang panalo, pag nakunan ko ng foto, padadala ko sa iyo para maipost mo dito sa epal quiz mo 🙂

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  5. nga pala profheckler. meron isang public school malapit sa batasan…its on the right side of the road if you are coming from commonwealth ave and heading towards batasang pambansa entrance near DSWD….meron napakalaki shining silver na letters ( stainless steel yata yun eh) stuck on the building “winnie castelo building” …kasama ba ito sa operational definition mo ng epal? please clarify para malinaw ang parameters. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  6. hi Professional Heckler!
    ang hirap pumili kung sino ang pinakaEPAL pero a lot of people should see this at sana naman ay hindi na sila iboto. Though, in my case, i’m still registered in QC and honestly, ang hirap mamili ng iboboto pag walang pagpipilian. magsesettle na nga lang sana sa lesser of a lot of evils, wala pa rin. i saw some epal pics during the floods and madami ding super epal dun. thanks

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  7. dati nga family picture ni rep dan fernandez ang bumubungad sa mga highway ng sta rosa…ngayon tandem sila ng fame-whore naming mayora na si arlene arcillas ang nakapaskil…buti na lang maganda silang tingnan,

    sa cainta, picture ni mayor mon ilagan and wife ang mga nakadisplay …balak siguro nyang ipalit after his term…

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  8. Ang ibig sabihin ba ng EPAL ay ExtraPogipointsAngLahat ng gawain ng taong eto? nagtatanong lang po. Sana naman mahiya ang mga taong nasa lahat na yata ng sulok ng kanilang kinasasakupan ang mga mukha, bakit di natin idikit sa toilet bowl ang mga larawan nila where they should belong? suggestion lang po. Mahiya sana silang lahat (kung may natitira pang hiya) kay Sec. Jess Robredo ( may nagawa ng hindi ngumanganga).

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  9. Winner talaga si Winnie Castelo sa pagka-EPAL! Actually, marami sa QC ang ganyan. Kung may National Anti-Epal Commission lang ako na magvo-volunteer mag-head. I understand na gusto nila i-promote ang projects nila pero dapat out-of-pocket expense nila yan, not taxpayer-funded. Anything that’s tax-payer funded dapat standardized ang billing and credits when it comes to placement, size and materials.

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