KILLER

NEWSPAPER REPORTS say typhoon Gener left at least 12 people dead and affected more than 300,000. Or as President Aquino and Malacañang would say, “Filipino farmers thank heavens for rain; robust harvest seen.”

Sunday’s bad weather which triggered massive flooding in the metro and nearby provinces caught residents flatfooted. Rumors say PAGASA was supposed to declare typhoon Signal No. 2 in the metro but forecasters feared the bad news might offend the President.

Another storm is reportedly brewing. Malacañang is advising citizens to prepare by stockpiling food and creating Twitter accounts.

Typhoon Gener which killed at least 12 and affected more than 300,000 shocked PAGASA officials. Even more shocking, President Aquino is strangely quiet on the miscalculated forecast.

Dead!
Typhoon Gener left at least 12 people dead. Not to be outdone, unidentified San Beda frat men left someone dead.

Over the last three days, 12 people have been killed in the metro and nearby provinces. To be fair to PAGASA, at least we know who killed them.

For the second time in just five months, a San Beda law student died reportedly due to fraternity hazing. More bad news: reports say the leaders of the fraternity, during their senior year in high school, were voted “Most likely to get away with murder.”

Police say victim Marc Andrei Marcos was a neophyte of San Beda’s Lex Leonum Fraternitas. The gang fraternity has yet to issue a statement.

If fraternity hazing were an Olympic event, San Beda frat men would take the gold!

CBCP vs RH Bill
The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines is gathering its flock for a big rally against the Reproductive Health Bill. The CBCP is confident that the Lower House will reject the measure. In other news, the filing of candidacy for next year’s midterm elections happens this October.

Kabayan vs. Aquino
On Twitter, Kris Aquino defended her brother, President Aquino who criticized Noli De Castro during the 25th anniversary celebration of TV Patrol last Friday. Meanwhile, De Castro has remained quiet – since 2004.

Record-Breaking
Ye Shiwen, a 16-year-old female Chinese swimmer set a new world record in astonishing fashion in the 400-meter individual medley. Shiwen’s remarkable speed was eclipsed only by escaping San Beda frat men.

Lunar Probe
China has announced its plan to explore the moon… sending shock waves to Martians who began to worry about their sovereignty.
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“Ah, you coward! Look at you, running.”
~Jonathan Stroud, Heroes of the Valley

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Author: professionalheckler

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