TRAFFIC


ACCORDING TO A Philippine Daily Inquirer report, President Aquino “had been hinting to friends a Mar Roxas-Chiz Escudero team for 2016.” Apparently, the President wanted to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

For 2016, President Aquino is reportedly hinting a Roxas-Escudero tandem. And Korina Sanchez is hinting a ‘No Way – Over My Dead Body’ tandem.

A Philippine Daily Inquirer report says Jinggoy Estrada has edged out Chiz Escudero as the potential running mate of Vice President Binay in 2016. Ironically, Binay’s camp says it’s “too early” to speculate. “Too early” is an adverb you least expect to hear from someone who declared his presidential plans five years before the elections.

LP-NP
President Aquino’s Liberal Party and Senator Manny Villar’s Nacionalista Party have coalesced for the 2013 elections. This will pave the way for the insertion of Cynthia Villar’s name in the administration’s senatorial ticket.

Remember when Aquino’s LP was saying Villar was corrupt, and Villar’s NP was calling Noynoy retarded? Wala lang. Naalala ko lang.

Traffic!
Earlier this week, it seemed that traffic on Edsa was at its worst. To illustrate, imagine that Vicki Belo’s face was Edsa. The only part moving were the lips.

Traffic on Edsa was so bad, the MMDA reportedly sought the help of Pope Benedict XVI.

Reports say Edsa can only accommodate 6,000 buses. But today, some 12,000 bus units ply the historic highway! It’s not Edsa that needs divine intervention. It’s the LTFRB!

Top 5 Things Faster Than Traffic on Edsa

No. 5: Senator Gordon talking

No. 4: The annulment of Senator Chiz Escudero’s marriage to Tintin Flores

No. 3: The airing of ABS-CBN’s Dolphy VTR seconds after the confirmation of his death last Tuesday evening. #boyscout

No. 2: Ruffa Gutierrez’s tweet announcing the death of Mang Dolphy (preempting even Zsa Zsa Padilla’s confirmation)

And the No. 1 thing faster than traffic on Edsa…

Anything that moves.

Eat It!
Davao City Vice Mayor Rodrigo Duterte forced a suspected swindler to eat his fake land titles following his arrest. The suspect is confident he will be acquitted because he just got rid of the evidence.

Free Use of Toilet
A party-list representative has filed a bill that seeks to prohibit malls from collecting fees for the use of their comfort rooms. The proposed penalty of one year imprisonment for repeat offenders is hoped to scare the shit out of mall owners.

AVE paty-list Rep. Eulogio Magsaysay filed a measure seeking to prevent malls from collecting fees for the use of toilets. Mall owners pooh-pooh the proposed bill.
———————————————————–
“Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer.”
~Author Unknown

Quotes Quiz. Who said:
“I just want my dad; everyone else can have all the awards.”
A: Eric Quizon
B: Epy Quizon
C: Zia Quizon
D: Ronnie Quizon

Have a safe weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Answer to Quotes Quiz: B

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Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

22 thoughts on “TRAFFIC”

  1. Kahit di sabihin obvious naman na pinaghandaan ng media ang kamatayan ni Dolphy. Ginawa na ang VTR, naghanda na ng tribute, etc. Pati ang iba dyan pinaghandaan na ang interview. At ang questions para sa kaibigan ni Dolphy matagal nang nakahanda. Sabi nga ng iba, dapat next week pa pinalabas ang VTR kaya lang pangit naman kung buhay pa ang tao, my VTR na tungkol sa kangyang pagpanaw. Tsk..

    That’s expected behaviour.

    Like

  2. Quotes Quiz
    One of 18 possibilities.
    The unmarried Dolphy must have used the ‘laugh them into bed’ strategy. His bedroom was busier than Edsa!

    LP alliance – more like a drunken one night stand, but then comes the sickly horror of waking up to someone like cynthia villar the next morning! Desperation leads to strange bedfellows.

    Bedfellows are not an issue, or option, for butch thug sara duterte who wants to run as congressman. And i thought standards couldn’t get any lower. The Dutertes constantly prove me wrong.

    Like

  3. Cars per 1000 head of population

    1. Monaco – 908 per 1000
    2. US -808 per 1000
    8. Germany – 534
    42. S korea – 379
    72. Thailand – 165
    105. Mongolia – 72
    118. Cuba – 38
    121. Philippines – 33
    136. N korea – 11

    the only sure bet is that the traffic situation in manila will get worse. a good excuse for main airport at clark and the new business/tourist centre in tarlac.

    Like

    1. 20 million? meaning, 1/4 of our population? i cannot argue because i don’t know the figures, but you sure you’re not exaggerating because you are fond of, of exaggerating i mean, but it’s commendable that you don’t subscribe to siring illegitimate children, for a foreigner ha that’ s something

      Like

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