IMELDA MARCOS turned 83 today, July 2. She’s still very active and full of energy. She’s showing no signs of slowing down despite her age. In fact, she’s reportedly seeking a fresh term as a congresswoman next year. Her campaign slogan: “The shoe must go on!”

Former First Lady Imelda Marcos has reached another milestone. She’s now 83 years old. People are suspecting stem cell, a costly diet, and formaldehyde.

Top 10 Baseless, Lesser Known Facts About The Former First Lady

No. 10: Her first romantic kiss was Ninoy Aquino.

No. 9: Imelda’s feet are longer at night. Hence, the two sets of footwear.

No. 8: The ratio of her shoes to her panties is 1:8. Her panties are all black.

No. 7: She gave birth to all her children via C-section because “Only Ferdinand Marcos has the right to see my Venus flytrap.

No. 6: Her family in Leyte was so poor, she was forced to drop from grade school to try her luck as a coin diver for three months.

No. 5: She has rhytiphobia, the irrational fear of wrinkles. She strips naked and screams when she notices one on her face.

No. 4: When President Marcos was sexually-linked to American B-movie actress Dovie Beams, a jealous Imelda installed a microchip in his nape to monitor his movements. He was told about it only minutes before he passed away in 1989.

No. 3: To not lose ‘contact’ with her husband, Imelda and her children would often conduct a séance in the family’s mausoleum in Ilocos Norte.

No. 2: She is totally bald. Her wig takes her 12 hours to fix everyday.

And the No. 1 baseless, lesser known fact about Imelda Marcos…

She wears her favorite terno in bed – every single night.

In Other News…
President Aquino is still working on the first draft of his State of the Nation Address. In 2010, his SONA was 14-page long. This year, 14 pages alone will be devoted to Renato Corona.

Malacañang says President Aquino may use visual aids in his annual report to Filipinos. That’s how you make people appreciate something imaginary.

Drilon vs. Mitos
Saying he only described senatorial aspirant Ramon ‘Jun’ Magsaysay Jr. as “ang tunay na Magsaysay,” Sen. Franklin Drilon denied ever calling another senator-wannabe, Congresswoman Mitos Habana-Magsaysay as a ‘fake’ Magsaysay. Mitos was still furious though dismissing Drilon’s statement as ‘pambababoy.’

Coach Spo
Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra, a Filipino-American gave President Aquino a championship cap. Oh, that’ll be useful.
“Win or lose, we go shopping after the election. “
~Former First Lady Imelda Marcos

Quotes Quiz. Who said:
“There is no dynasty to speak of, but there is a history of public service that I hope to be part of.”

A: Bam Aquino
B: Mitos Magsaysay
C: Ace Barbers
D: Jun Magsaysay

Have a productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Answer to Quotes Quiz: A.

Author: professionalheckler

See About the Heckler

15 thoughts on “IMELDA”

  1. “Filipinos want beauty. I have to
    look beautiful so that the poor
    Filipinos will have a star to look
    at from their slums.”
    Imelda Marcos

    “If you know how rich you are, you are not rich. But me, I am not aware of the extent of my wealth. That’s how rich i am.”
    Imelda Marcos

    There is nothing beautiful about a corrupt mind and a narcissistic soul


  2. Bam Aquino? Just another Aquino who have not proven his worth except his family name. Too much for Aquinos. (But at least, his IQ is higher than that of Noynoy – – hahaha)

    This is also baseless but according to my source, Dovie Beams was the one who awakened the sexual drive of the former president. Meaning, there was no such thing as ‘happiness’ in the palace — for long. No problem the queen was dancing with Hollywood actor in NY (baseless – but have you heard about it? of course it was denied). Ambot lang!


      1. What I mean with ‘happiness’ was the natural activity of ‘mag-asawa’. I can’t write the term here. The reason was that the ‘strongman’ was not strong enough to sustain the journey. Hahaha,.. kung ano ano na ang pinagsasabi ko. Mahirap sabihin dito. Baseless pa rin ito.


  3. Kaloka to natawa ako. I remember when I was in highschool, sa Social Studies subject tinuro doon n nung tumatakbong senator c FEM, wala clang kapera-pera at gutom na gutom n Imelda. Nung umupo xa habang naghihintay ng bilangan may katabi xa na kumakain ng sandwhich sa sobrang gutom nya napansin nung katabi nya tas binigyan xa at hindi xa nahiya tinanggap nya. Kwentong barbero? hehe


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